The ventilation-shaft fall reportedly used footage of a stunt error, and Bruce Willis shot Moonlighting by day and Die Hard at night while marrying Demi Moore during production.
Bruce Willis is accepted despite the later Pulp Fiction revival because Die Hard created the action-star track that enabled the rest of his career. — Sean Fennessey
John McTiernan is accepted by one participant, while another prefers The Hunt for Red October.
Alan Rickman is accepted for the career-making Hans Gruber debut.
The film is accepted as a plausible Apex Mountain for 1980s action movies. — Jason Concepcion
Argyle is accepted as reaching his apex here. — Jason Concepcion
Bonnie Bedelia is rejected in favor of Presumed Innocent or Heart Like a Wheel.
Bruce Willis was chosen after an extraordinary list of stars; Sam Neill was considered for Hans Gruber, while Tom Berenger and Don Johnson are the panel’s plausible McClane alternatives.
Because the source novel followed an earlier Roderick Thorp book adapted with Frank Sinatra, Sinatra reportedly held a contractual right of refusal.
Tom Berenger and Don Johnson are proposed as alternatives who could have worked, though the released film would have been less iconic.
Nick Nolte is rejected as physically and tonally wrong for the required action.
Sam Neill is reported as considered for Hans Gruber, but Alan Rickman is treated as impossible to replace after seeing the performance. — Chris Ryan
The panel wonders whether Chris Rock or a Wayans brother was considered for Argyle and asks what the final Argyle shortlist looked like; the transcript does not resolve it. — Bill Simmons
Luke and Owen Wilson were originally slated to play the Malloy brothers, eventually played by Scott Kahn (as transcribed) and Casey Affleck; they could not do the movie because they had to shoot Tenenbaums, and two of the hosts spent ten minutes on this the day before.
The Wilsons would have been an infusion of Bottle Rocket, but more twee, with more emphasis on the pitter patter of their speech; they also had bigger profiles in 2001 than Kahn and Affleck and might have taken shine from the top three, like needing an Iguodala and a David West on the roster.
Owen can play dumb better than Luke; the Mormon twins' gags are supposed to be stupid so you laugh at and with them, and the Wilsons might have made it too pretentious or arch; this is the only what-if one host would have been okay with, since the brothers are comic relief, and the hosts are glad Tenenbaums got made.
Joel and Ethan Coen were reportedly also up for the Malloy brothers; one host wants documentation because the Coens in front of the camera seems implausible, while another likes it given the stories of them living with Holly Hunter and Frances McDormand after college, but agrees it is too inside-joke.
Ralph Fiennes, whom one host presumed was up for Basher on the strength of In Bruges, was actually one of three possible Terry Benedicts; he has done villains, including he who shall not be named; as Benedict it would scramble the allegiances because it is too close to English Patient and you might want Julia to be with Ray Files (as transcribed), when you need to be on Danny's side.
Alan Arkin was originally going to play Saul, the role played by Carl Reiner, which would have been fine; Mike Myers was attached to the cast; one of the earliest articles about Brad Pitt circling the film, a 2000 Hollywood Reporter Variety piece, has Johnny Depp playing Linus.
One host is against Depp, enjoying him only in What's Eating Over Grape (as transcribed) and finding the rest overacting; another was a fan in 2000, before Willy Wonka and Pirates of the Caribbean, but not at the right frequency for this movie: a darkness, the same handsome vibe as Pitt, and impossible to picture in glasses, a baseball hat and a parka in Chicago getting dunked on, since he never wants to blend in and would want to be bald with a snaggle tooth.
Mark Wahlberg was also attached to play Linus and had a weird reaction after the fact; a question to Amanda about the Julia Roberts role turns up no other what-ifs.
Bruce Willis was reportedly, on specious evidence, in contention for Danny Ocean, which would be an entirely different movie because Clooney anchors the whole thing; his absence set up a favorite Ocean's 12 cameo, where he arrives mid-heist while Julia Roberts' Tess is pretending to be Julia Roberts, with a SpongeBob pillow, as commentary on 2000s celebrity; the hosts are glad he turned the role down, and Ocean's 12 made one like Julia Roberts even more.
Earlier, in the intro: Mark Wahlberg, initially slated to play Linus, was salty after release, saying he went off and made Planet of the Apes and The Truth About Charlie, which both sucked, rather than sit around patting George on the back.
Woven through the ZipRecruiter read: casting Tobey Maguire in the Ethan Hawke role would have been disastrous; Maguire spent two months on undercover narcotics runs, lost weight and got in crazy shape, but Anton Fuqua (as transcribed) was never 100% sold; he would have crushed Smiley in the poker scene holding pocket rockets.
Davis Guggenheim was set to direct with Sam Jackson and Matt Damon as the stars; that movie wins no Oscar, and Jackson would have been almost a parody of Denzel, red meat and meta where Denzel feels real and cinematic, though one host would have watched it and thinks it could have worked.
Eminem and Christian Bale allegedly turned down Jake Hoyt; Eminem is really good in 8 Mile and very funny in Funny People, and his career would differ if he had gone Will Smith and left music, but he could not have played this role, and it is hard to imagine him punked for 90 minutes or fighting Denzel, since he is pretty skinny.
The script was written in 1990 with Sly Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger in mind as the leads; the hosts agree that would have been horrible given the bodies, faces and accents, wondering how the vocal box would handle Arnold's or Sly's accent.
Joel Silver then optioned it wanting Michael Douglas and Harrison Ford, which some think would have been incredible but more like a sexual thriller going to a weird place; this detours into Michael Douglas's publicly stated claim about the sexual cause of his throat cancer, which one host insists is a true story to Google and others call a suburban legend and a humble brag.
Johnny Depp was in until he found out it was not a hockey movie, treated as true because it is on the internet, with jokes about whether he thought Pirates of the Caribbean or Edward Scissorhands were hockey movies too; Bruce Willis and Alc Baldwin (as transcribed) were teamed up at one point, which might actually have worked since Baldwin would dial it up.
The funniest pairing, apparently a real thing, was Van Damme and Steven Seagal, two of the greatest Russian moles America has to offer.
Would most have wanted to see Stallone and Schwarzenegger, because it does not make any sense and he needs to see that. — Jason Concepcion
Would want Douglas and Ford, who would have had so much contempt for the material, unable to believe they needed another ranch in Montana this badly. — Chris Ryan
Goes with Van Damme and Seagal (as transcribed 'Van Dammen to go'). — Shea Serrano
The others knew that pick was coming and call it the worst one of all of them.
Mark Wahlberg turned down the role of Castor's brother Pollux; the movie is better with Wahlberg if he is dialing it up, and Pollux's weird hairdo already looks like Wahlberg's Gambler character; Julianna Margulis (as transcribed) turned down the Gina Gershon part because she was filming ER, probably a good choice at that moment, since Gershon does not go around asking whether people saw her in Face Off.
