Casting What-Ifs
Luke and Owen Wilson as the Malloy brothers; Joel and Ethan Coen as the Malloys; Ralph Fiennes as Terry Benedict; Alan Arkin as Saul; Mike Myers attached; Johnny Depp as Linus; Mark Wahlberg as Linus; Bruce Willis as Danny Ocean
In the discussion (10)
Approx. transcript time · 00:12:44Read transcript
- Luke and Owen Wilson were originally slated to play the Malloy brothers, eventually played by Scott Kahn (as transcribed) and Casey Affleck; they could not do the movie because they had to shoot Tenenbaums, and two of the hosts spent ten minutes on this the day before.
- The Wilsons would have been an infusion of Bottle Rocket, but more twee, with more emphasis on the pitter patter of their speech; they also had bigger profiles in 2001 than Kahn and Affleck and might have taken shine from the top three, like needing an Iguodala and a David West on the roster.
- Owen can play dumb better than Luke; the Mormon twins' gags are supposed to be stupid so you laugh at and with them, and the Wilsons might have made it too pretentious or arch; this is the only what-if one host would have been okay with, since the brothers are comic relief, and the hosts are glad Tenenbaums got made.
- Joel and Ethan Coen were reportedly also up for the Malloy brothers; one host wants documentation because the Coens in front of the camera seems implausible, while another likes it given the stories of them living with Holly Hunter and Frances McDormand after college, but agrees it is too inside-joke.
- Ralph Fiennes, whom one host presumed was up for Basher on the strength of In Bruges, was actually one of three possible Terry Benedicts; he has done villains, including he who shall not be named; as Benedict it would scramble the allegiances because it is too close to English Patient and you might want Julia to be with Ray Files (as transcribed), when you need to be on Danny's side.
- Alan Arkin was originally going to play Saul, the role played by Carl Reiner, which would have been fine; Mike Myers was attached to the cast; one of the earliest articles about Brad Pitt circling the film, a 2000 Hollywood Reporter Variety piece, has Johnny Depp playing Linus.
- One host is against Depp, enjoying him only in What's Eating Over Grape (as transcribed) and finding the rest overacting; another was a fan in 2000, before Willy Wonka and Pirates of the Caribbean, but not at the right frequency for this movie: a darkness, the same handsome vibe as Pitt, and impossible to picture in glasses, a baseball hat and a parka in Chicago getting dunked on, since he never wants to blend in and would want to be bald with a snaggle tooth.
- Mark Wahlberg was also attached to play Linus and had a weird reaction after the fact; a question to Amanda about the Julia Roberts role turns up no other what-ifs.
- Bruce Willis was reportedly, on specious evidence, in contention for Danny Ocean, which would be an entirely different movie because Clooney anchors the whole thing; his absence set up a favorite Ocean's 12 cameo, where he arrives mid-heist while Julia Roberts' Tess is pretending to be Julia Roberts, with a SpongeBob pillow, as commentary on 2000s celebrity; the hosts are glad he turned the role down, and Ocean's 12 made one like Julia Roberts even more.
- Earlier, in the intro: Mark Wahlberg, initially slated to play Linus, was salty after release, saying he went off and made Planet of the Apes and The Truth About Charlie, which both sucked, rather than sit around patting George on the back.