Asked whether Cocktail is the greatest bad movie ever, this participant offers a top five: No. 5 the Sylvester Stallone arm-wrestling movie, rewatched as much as any 1980s movie as a kid because it was always on WPIX. — Sean Fennessey
Amid agreeing interjections, the Stallone arm-wrestling movie is joked about as a stealth divorce movie. — Sean Fennessey
A reply argues Showgirls and Anaconda may be ineligible because their makers knew or winked at the badness, with Snakes on a Plane as the ultimate intentionally bad movie. — Bill Simmons
The hosts say Cocktail went through 40 versions of the script, is based on a book, tried to say something about 80s wealth, turned into dudes flipping bottles, and made a lot of money. — Bill Simmons
Judge Smales's rough week; bare heads on the course; Caddyshack lines at golf tournaments; Denunzio's swing and outfit; the gopher; Maggie; the Baby Ruth Jaws parody; Lou unfazed by explosions; the John Peters story
Judge Smales's week is listed (transcribed as "what stage is the worst"): his course blew up, his boat sank, he nearly killed an old lady, learned about his niece and that Ty's dad never liked him, lost an illegal $80,000 match and was chased by Moose and Rocco. — Bill Simmons
Golf broadcasters forcing Caddyshack lines into tournaments has aged terribly. — Bill Simmons
Denunzio's corkscrew golf swing (a Rob Deere comparison, and a Chris Ryan joke) and blouse-like outfit are worse; only Danny swings well, and the outfit looks headed to a Chippendales shift. — Bill Simmons
The gopher is not funny: liking it was once a disqualifier, it was an attempted fifth comedy style like the Muppets or Gremlins, and the sequel doubled down; the reply jokes that Caddyshack 2 never happened. — Sean Fennessey
Maggie is one of the worst sports-movie characters, with an unexplained Irish accent though actress Sarah Holcomb was American; she is from Animal House and reportedly left acting with mental health problems; the quickly resolved pregnancy subplot was unneeded. — Bill Simmons
The Baby Ruth bar as a Jaws parody was a great idea in 1980 but is less effective 40 years later. — Bill Simmons
Lou the Caddymaster stares at Danny's last putt while bombs go off; suggested explanations are Vietnam service or how badly he wanted Smales crushed. — Bill Simmons
As told on the show, producer John Peters, a former hairdresser said to have inspired Warren Beatty's Shampoo and married Barbara Streisian (as transcribed), arranged a Playboy shoot of Cindy Morgan, threatened her career when she declined, and Ramis cancelled the shoot. — Bill Simmons
It is said she did not work after that, then noted that she starred in Tron and worked in TV through the 80s and 90s but could have had a much bigger career; it is framed as an early version of a Me Too era story. — Bill Simmons
The pottery scene is iconic, erotic and now comically explicit. Its collapsing pot is reported as unplanned; a tentatively identified Naked Gun 3 parody and revived Unchained Melody are discussed.
Sam’s shooting and his realization he is dead are praised as tense and well performed. — Bill Simmons
Sam foiling Willie’s apartment intrusion, using the cat and learning ghost powers is another choice. — Bill Simmons
Otomey first hearing Sam improves a scene that could have sunk the film; her attempted meeting with Molly gets honorable mention.
Carl’s attempted seduction and coffee spill are a choice, followed by both Willie and Carl being dragged to hell. — Bill Simmons
The farewell is disputed: one host finds it too long with weak effects, while another cannot avoid crying at Molly’s final ditto. — Bill Simmons
The possession/dance scene is a favorite; critics’ suggested Whoopi-visible version sparks debate over 1990 tolerance, present representation and preserving the lovers’ reunion.
The Rita Miller bank sequence is a favorite for its banter and Goldberg’s performance, alongside Goldwyn’s sweating tension. — Chris Ryan
Amanda enjoys the Swayze/Goldberg buddy chemistry but definitively chooses pottery. — Amanda Dobbins
On the trestle, they would go ahead of a crawling friend and should hustle rather than casually walk. — Chris Ryan
In the train race, Gordy seems to have the drop on Chris until Chris shows Carl Lewis speed. — Bill Simmons
How the leech reached Gordy's groin through jeans and underwear in two minutes is the biggest nit; the waistband is offered as an answer. — Bill Simmons
They would not outrun that train, and the fall would kill them, yet they get right up. — Chris Ryan
Lard-Ass left a lot of pie while claiming to be done, and the DJ, Bob Cormier, took the pies more seriously. — Bill Simmons
The hosts say Reiner saw nearly every young actor, was moved by Phoenix reading for Chris, and wondered about him as Gordy or Chris. — Bill Simmons
The hosts say Corey Haim auditioned for Gordy, the studio wanted him as Chris, and he turned it down to make Lucas; Haim would have been okay, but Wil Wheaton remains the first choice. — Bill Simmons
The hosts say David Dukes, Ted Bessell and Michael McKean preceded Dreyfuss for the adult Gordy; the hosts say a Dukes scene was shot and his far-away shot remains. — Bill Simmons
The hosts say the film was long called The Body until Columbia refused the title; calling it The Body would have been a mistake. — Chris Ryan
The first pick is the early run-in with Ace, who takes the Yankee hat Denny gave Gordy; it does a lot in two minutes, establishing Ace, Gordy's inability to fight back and Chris not yet able to stop the cigarette. — Bill Simmons
There is not a wasted frame: the end mirrors the beginning, and the world holds only the kids looking for Ray Brower and the Cobras, with no parents or cops. — Chris Ryan
Gordy's trip to the store for Cokes and hamburger meat, the store guy's quarterback comment about his brother, and the junkyard chase that ends with Feldman yelling at the junkyard guy is a favorite; the store evokes first solo shopping trips, though baseball cards at the counter would have been a nice touch. — Bill Simmons
Chris's speech about Gordy's gift for writing shows in about 150 seconds why they are best friends: Chris is tough with a sensitive side, Gordy sensitive and wanting to be cool, always in each other's corner unlike Vern and Teddy. — Bill Simmons
An NBA analogy makes Chris and Gordy the two stars with a rotating cast; Vern is compared to Dwight Howard and to not wanting to go in the bubble. — Bill Simmons
The train scene is iconic: the wide bridge shots, the quiet, feeling the tracks, Teddy's line, Jerry O'Connell crawling and screaming, and the jump make a flawless four minutes. — Bill Simmons
The pie-eating story delivers for little kids; its editing, cutting back to the campfire where the others ask 'that's it?', is praised. — Bill Simmons
Chris's milk-money monologue is when Phoenix became the number-one draft pick; the hosts say Reiner told the 2016 Variety oral history he asked Phoenix to think of an adult who let him down, and the next take is in the movie. — Bill Simmons
The scene reflects learning that people in power disappoint you; none of the four is getting out of town, each for his own reason. — Bill Simmons
Gordy and Chris facing Ace with the gun is good, with Kiefer 'throwing 110 miles an hour' next to the decomposing body. — Bill Simmons
The ending keeps building: goodbye to Chris, the story of his death, Chris vanishing, then the writer finding his last sentence, which the speaker, a former columnist, identifies with; then wrestling with his son. — Bill Simmons
A joke imagines the same feeling after a 200th-episode Heat podcast with Michael Mann. — Bill Simmons
A second participant adds Vern running up to the treehouse and being cut off while the others keep singing, which sets up the gang as real characters.
The Cobras' mailbox baseball and tattoo scenes show what the boys could become; not even the bad guys have fun lives in this town. That participant calls the bridge crossing the most rewatchable. — Chris Ryan
Mailbox baseball and smashing pumpkins are called New England traditions after one participant admits he might have done it in Worcester. — Bill Simmons
Another participant agrees the train scene is the most rewatchable, a flawless four or five minutes; the hosts' research says a camera trick made the distant train seem right behind the boys. — Bill Simmons
Ironside's accent is rough; a real Massachusetts actor, or even someone making no accent attempt, would have been better, with Dickie Barrett suggested. — Bill Simmons
Clooney's accent comes and goes and then disappears, and he never coordinated with Mastrantonio, while Walberg and John Hawks are committed to theirs. — Bill Simmons
John C. Riley's son is a pet peeve: the dad talks about how much the kid means, and the kid just stares blankly; a counterpoint says an eight-year-old would be intimidated. — Bill Simmons
Diane Lane's accent is called legendary and usually the first mentioned in worst-Boston-accent conversations, alongside Kevin Koster in 13 Days and Jeff Bridges in Blown Away. — Bill Simmons
Diane Lane is loved, but she is called too beautiful for the role, and nobody in Massachusetts ever acted like that. — Bill Simmons
A joke notes that both of these characters are named Chris, prompting a riff on Chrises from Massachusetts. — Chris Ryan
The character lacks a real flaw beyond hating when her boyfriend goes fishing, which makes Bobby leaving hard to believe. — Chris Ryan
The attempt is admired because the Boston accent is half attitude, but nothing about it feels authentic. — Bill Simmons
Her lines read like Hallmark speeches, such as the curtains and pillows from J.C. Pennies, and she is compared to the wet-blanket girlfriend from a sports movie. — Bill Simmons
The correct spelling of the John Cocktoston alias: IMDb reportedly gives 'Cock Tolstoy', while others hear 'Cocktoston' and argue over a K or a C. — Bill Simmons
Chris is teased as never making it as an investigative reporter, and a spelling starting with K is offered. — Bill Simmons
Did Fletch retire from the LA Times, and did Fletch 2 happen: Fletch Lives was hugely disappointing, and Mr. Underhill is one of the few returning actors. — Bill Simmons
Late-80s sequels were repeated letdowns: 48 Hours 2, Godfather 3, Fletch Lives, Caddyshack 2 (though Chevy is funny in it) and later Beverly Hills Cop 3. — Bill Simmons
Choosing is hard because the whole movie is rewatchable. — Bill Simmons
The first Hackman-Denzel meeting, where Hackman compares horses to high school girls, has the two feeling each other out; Denzel realizes he needs to keep his guard up with this guy. — Bill Simmons
The semi-confrontation after the kitchen fire and the missile drill is where the sparring really begins, with Ramsey's speech about the unified chain of command and not questioning each other in front of the crew.
Calling a missile drill during a fire is joked to be a Bill Simmons move, like a 7 a.m. text or an emergency pod after an earthquake; the reply is that sometimes you have to run the missile drill.
The Silver Surfer argument with Danny Nucci's sailor is called clearly a Tarantino pop-culture scene; a little dated and not fully understood, but enjoyable. — Bill Simmons
The blow-up where Denzel relieves Hackman is praised for its overlapping speeches; the hosts say Lieutenant Zimmer was named as an homage to Hans Zimmer.
Hackman is guessed at 5-11; camera tricks sometimes make him look taller than Denzel, which is joked to be a Top Gun habit of Tony Scott's. — Bill Simmons
Quick cuts show the crew paralyzed watching; on rewatch, Hunter starts questioning the captain in public as soon as the fire happens. — Bill Simmons
A 'coming up next' take argues Hunter was in the wrong: in the military chain of command you never question the lead dog with other people around, so he loses Hackman from that point. — Bill Simmons
A counter-question asks whether Ramsey deliberately draws out Hunter's defiance; Hunter keeps asking why, echoing the Clausewitz exchange.
Because Ramsey hired Hunter, an early scene showing Hunter was not his choice would explain the testing; the counterpoint is that time was short while Radchenko fueled his missiles. — Bill Simmons
The torpedo attack, with the sub hit, water coming in and depths called out, is a hacky but necessary submarine-movie beat; from around there the last hour plays nearly in real time. — Bill Simmons
The bilge-bay 'Seal the bay' scene has Rick Schroder really going for it, joked to be how he got NYPD Blue.
Viggo, very young and baby-faced, is great and pivotal, though his accent pops with little Dutch-like flourishes.
'You don't put on a condom unless you want to fuck' is called Chris's favorite line, prompting HR and WordPress jokes.
Other lines include the one about only two sides to a mutiny, and Denzel gets several yearbook-ready lines. — Bill Simmons
Matt Craven and Rocky Carroll are perfect as the officers running envelopes down hallways; Carroll was known as Joey from Rock on Fox, and both later spent years on NCIS.
Hackman taking the boat back includes Denzel's extra second-and-a-half stare at Viggo. — Bill Simmons
One pick is the final confrontation: Hackman hitting him, the 'God help you if you're wrong' exchange, the three-minute wait for the radio, and the final message reveal, called seven unassailable minutes. — Bill Simmons
Another pick is the first mutiny, for the overlapping dialogue while the missiles are fueled; the stallions scene is acknowledged as the famous one.
A further voice agrees the first mutiny is the favorite part and the turning point, starting when Ramsey yells 'Mr. Hunter, I've made a decision... shut the fuck up!' — Sean Fennessey
The line is joked about for Zoom meetings; NBA owners most likely to yell it include Tillman Fertitta and Mickey Arison. — Sean Fennessey
The opening murder is ruled out as a most rewatchable scene because a man gets brutally stabbed to death. — Bill Simmons
The first visit to Catherine's house is nominated: the cliffside drive and the house itself, which a half-assed internet research lookup suggested was listed for $52 million, though that is flagged as possibly untrue. — Bill Simmons
The first interview has exchanges like "Are you a pro?" "I'm an amateur" and "Are you sorry he's dead?" "Yeah, I liked fucking him," and is called one of the best character introductions ever.
The setting is symbolic: beautiful and serene on top, choppy water and jagged rocks over the edge. — Mallory Rubin
Her lines scandalize the detectives, men in their 40s; in 1992 there were no characters like this who were in complete control. — Bill Simmons
The second house visit is nominated too: she changes in front of them, the cigarette exchange in the car, and the new book about a detective who falls for the wrong woman. — Bill Simmons
The police interrogation, featuring Newman from Seinfeld and Eddie Harris from Major League, with the cocaine question, the crotch shot and the lie detector, is called the most rewatchable eight to nine minutes of the movie. — Bill Simmons
More lines are added from the interrogation; the cuts are brilliant, she is in command though nominally in their power, and the scene would have been a meme machine in the GIF era. — Mallory Rubin
The leg-cross is called one of the great movie star scenes of the last 30 years; Kathleen Turner and Faye Dunaway are floated as comparisons, but doubted as able to command the room the same way. — Mallory Rubin
The hosts say the leg-cross was Verhoeven's idea in the room and not in the script; Stone claimed she did not know the shot would be used, while he said they had discussed it; they say it would be a huge deal in 2020. — Bill Simmons
The hosts relay the story that Verhoeven told her the underwear was reflecting the lights, and debate whether the character wore underwear given the earlier dressing scene. — Mallory Rubin
Stone is praised for speaking openly about the lack of permission and its impact on her career, while the moment is still held up as iconic. — Mallory Rubin
The shot is called invasive because of the interrogation power dynamic, even though she is fully naked later in the film. — Chris Ryan
Catherine stopping by Nick's place, taking the ice pick and his cigarette, and calling him Shooter is liked, as is the pre-cell-phone habit of waiting on a stoop.
The nightclub: Nick is the oldest guy by 18 years in the V-neck, the three-person cocaine stall scene is called the all-time best, and Roxy's dancing is praised. — Bill Simmons
The hosts say the sex scene took five days to shoot; first-time viewers wonder whether he will be murdered, and Michael Douglas's butt is the funniest part. — Bill Simmons
The hosts say Verhoeven wanted full frontal nudity from Douglas, whose contract prohibited it. — Mallory Rubin
A director's cut viewing claims a side-angle glimpse and dwells on the strained eye contact during oral sex, which is called hilarious. — Mallory Rubin
Verhoeven is paraphrased as saying men think they know how women have sex but do not know how other men have sex. — Mallory Rubin
The ceiling mirror, fingers in mouths, the white scarf and the back scratch with no blood on white sheets are called ludicrous and mesmerizing. — Mallory Rubin
Nick visiting Catherine the next day ("a pretty good beginning," "I'm in love with you already, but I'll nail you anyway") is nominated as a great Basic Instinct scene. — Bill Simmons
A production flaw is noted: there is no sand beach at her property, so the hosts guess the beach part was filmed elsewhere; no later scene is seen as rewatchable once the whodunit kicks in.
Other nominations: the homicidal-impulse conversation that reveals how much Catherine knows about Nick, the Gus and Beth murder sequence and case wrap-up as near comedy, and the suspenseful final scene. — Mallory Rubin
The pick is the nightclub scene by far, lumped with the sex scene, including the dancing and Roxy getting mad. — Chris Ryan
Another pick is the car ride through the police interrogation, for the Bay Area and her command of the room.
A third participant calls the interrogation legendary but sides with Chris on the sex scene, with the club scene as the cherry on top. — Mallory Rubin
How did Vincent go from a hotheaded leather jacket to Armani-wearing Don in two scenes? — Bill Simmons
The timeline is worked through: Fredo is killed in the early 60s, the third film starts in 1979, so roughly 15 or more years pass. — Bill Simmons
Mary's age is estimated from her line that she was 8 when Vincent was 15 and her appearance in Part II. — Bill Simmons
A made-up claim about Michael and Al Neri discussing the 1961 World Series tests whether Chris is paying attention, leading to a Mazeroski and Pirates exchange.
The human-shield kid; whether Kelso invented the internet; running onto the LAX runway; whether the film caused more bank robberies; Chris's Super Bowl losses; Chris's and Dominic's futures; Neil's hypocrisy; Heat 2
Is grabbing a little kid as a human shield the most evil act by a movie bad guy? In context, the character immediately has to go. — Bill Simmons
Did Tom Noonan's character invent the internet? 'We can't say he didn't.' — Chris Ryan
Could a man with a gun run from an LAX hotel onto the runways? Easier pre-9/11 but still hard; a 2020 version would have to address it, perhaps at Union Station. — Chris Ryan
Did the film cause more bank robberies? The hosts cite internet claims listing armored-car robberies abroad and the 1997 North Hollywood Bank of America shootout, which they say left both robbers dead and 11 officers and seven bystanders injured and was partly blamed on the movie. — Bill Simmons
The character's line that the Super Bowl cleaned him out is placed as the Chargers-Niners Super Bowl with jokes about him backing the Chargers against Steve Young, gambling touts and betting the Pro Bowl. — Chris Ryan
What happened to Chris? He moves to Vegas, maybe starts a sports book, and is probably killed within two years by someone he owes. — Bill Simmons
Dominic's life looks dark per Drucker; a Netflix version could have Portman as a detective chasing Dominic, and Neil and Eady may have had a son. — Bill Simmons
Was Neil a hypocrite for going back for Chris during the bank shooting? He breaks his own rules throughout, including hiring Haysbert's fry cook as a driver. — Bill Simmons
Heat 2 options: modernize with new people and tech, an all-Black cast, Kelso starting Facebook, or a generational sequel with Portman's character, Dominic, Neil and Eady's son and the girl Cheritto grabbed seeking revenge. — Bill Simmons
The sports-scene flex proposes 49ers connections: George Seifert, practice with Young or Montana, Gus losing bets, or Catherine’s former lover Jerry Rice being interviewed. — Bill Simmons
Chris’s Vincent Chase flex questions Frank’s lyrics, musicianship, betrayal of a bandmate and contribution to the disastrous artistic direction; his class affectation is also mocked.
Chris explicitly selects the Okay Motherfucker flex and describes seven escalation beats around the border operation: Cartagena, folding the jacket, trucks over bumps, spotter warning, drawing weapons, gun warning and shooting. — Chris Ryan
Chris explicitly selects the Rick Trichet guard-death flex for the train driver forced toward the tank, imagining the forgotten bystander’s life. — Chris Ryan
