The possibility that Rachel Lindsay has not seen Titanic is joked as the first aged-worst item. — Bill Simmons
The three-hour-15-minute runtime is daunting, and Danny Nucci's Italian accent as Fabrizio is questioned, though called better than Jared Leto's in the Gucci movie. — Bill Simmons
Billy Zane's Cal is called abusive and aged terribly; the performance is described as slightly sketch-comedy broad, the other host declares himself a lifelong Zane fan despite some overplaying, and the reply is that Zane dialed it up too much. — Bill Simmons
Robert Altman reportedly called the film the most dreadful work he had seen, which is laughed off. — Bill Simmons
William Goldman's critique of the Cal role and the Picasso scene as full of howlers is cited; the scene is now laughable and the film lacks subtlety, with Cal wrong about everything. — Bill Simmons
The last guy standing at the end with the pronounced chin, "Gregory, spoiler," whose name the speaker does not know, could sweep the That Guy, Dionne Waiters and Vincent Hanna awards; "I think he wins." — Bill Simmons
Also mentioned: the nanny from Jerry McGuire, the campus rapist from 90210, and Costner's brother in American Flyers. — Chris Ryan
Renaming the award after Stephen Tobolowski's Ned Ryerson, raised on the Groundhog Day pod, gets support; a George Dzundza Award is also floated, with a pronunciation debate. — Bill Simmons
Matt Craven as Zimmer is offered, though NCIS may have lifted him past that-guy status. — Bill Simmons
Danny Nucci, the Silver Surfer guy, is called a better pick: he has been in a lot but is known only as Danny. — Bill Simmons
Choosing is hard because the whole movie is rewatchable. — Bill Simmons
The first Hackman-Denzel meeting, where Hackman compares horses to high school girls, has the two feeling each other out; Denzel realizes he needs to keep his guard up with this guy. — Bill Simmons
The semi-confrontation after the kitchen fire and the missile drill is where the sparring really begins, with Ramsey's speech about the unified chain of command and not questioning each other in front of the crew.
Calling a missile drill during a fire is joked to be a Bill Simmons move, like a 7 a.m. text or an emergency pod after an earthquake; the reply is that sometimes you have to run the missile drill.
The Silver Surfer argument with Danny Nucci's sailor is called clearly a Tarantino pop-culture scene; a little dated and not fully understood, but enjoyable. — Bill Simmons
The blow-up where Denzel relieves Hackman is praised for its overlapping speeches; the hosts say Lieutenant Zimmer was named as an homage to Hans Zimmer.
Hackman is guessed at 5-11; camera tricks sometimes make him look taller than Denzel, which is joked to be a Top Gun habit of Tony Scott's. — Bill Simmons
Quick cuts show the crew paralyzed watching; on rewatch, Hunter starts questioning the captain in public as soon as the fire happens. — Bill Simmons
A 'coming up next' take argues Hunter was in the wrong: in the military chain of command you never question the lead dog with other people around, so he loses Hackman from that point. — Bill Simmons
A counter-question asks whether Ramsey deliberately draws out Hunter's defiance; Hunter keeps asking why, echoing the Clausewitz exchange.
Because Ramsey hired Hunter, an early scene showing Hunter was not his choice would explain the testing; the counterpoint is that time was short while Radchenko fueled his missiles. — Bill Simmons
The torpedo attack, with the sub hit, water coming in and depths called out, is a hacky but necessary submarine-movie beat; from around there the last hour plays nearly in real time. — Bill Simmons
The bilge-bay 'Seal the bay' scene has Rick Schroder really going for it, joked to be how he got NYPD Blue.
Viggo, very young and baby-faced, is great and pivotal, though his accent pops with little Dutch-like flourishes.
'You don't put on a condom unless you want to fuck' is called Chris's favorite line, prompting HR and WordPress jokes.
Other lines include the one about only two sides to a mutiny, and Denzel gets several yearbook-ready lines. — Bill Simmons
Matt Craven and Rocky Carroll are perfect as the officers running envelopes down hallways; Carroll was known as Joey from Rock on Fox, and both later spent years on NCIS.
Hackman taking the boat back includes Denzel's extra second-and-a-half stare at Viggo. — Bill Simmons
One pick is the final confrontation: Hackman hitting him, the 'God help you if you're wrong' exchange, the three-minute wait for the radio, and the final message reveal, called seven unassailable minutes. — Bill Simmons
Another pick is the first mutiny, for the overlapping dialogue while the missiles are fueled; the stallions scene is acknowledged as the famous one.
A further voice agrees the first mutiny is the favorite part and the turning point, starting when Ramsey yells 'Mr. Hunter, I've made a decision... shut the fuck up!' — Sean Fennessey
The line is joked about for Zoom meetings; NBA owners most likely to yell it include Tillman Fertitta and Mickey Arison. — Sean Fennessey
