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The Rewatchables ·

Con Air

year 1997decade 90sdirector Simon Westgenre Drama
host Bill Simmonshost Shea Serranohost Chris Ryan
All 15 categories

Most Rewatchable Scene · 16:19

Cusack's scouting-report introduction of the inmates

Candidates open with the rainstorm fight in which Nick Cage kills the drunk; the whole fight makes one host mad every time because the lawyer, the guy from Miami Vice, gives terrible advice to plead guilty and it comes out as ten years. The hosts debate going not guilty unless a deal is agreed with the judge, and conclude that Cameron Poe is kind of a dumbass who should have just got in the car and later got off the plane rather than stay for his diabetic buddy and his insulin.

Cusack's scouting report for the inmates is phenomenal; a host wishes more graphics and background had flashed up for each guy, Creed-style, six minutes long, and would have watched it forever.

The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie · 1:00:42

"put the bunny back in the box"

Nominees: 'put the bunny back in the box'; Cyrus's 'Define irony. A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song by a band that died in a car crash'; and 'Sorry, boss. There's only two men I trust. One of them's me. The other's not you', which gets a vote because it sounds like something one of the hosts has said to another human being in his life.

The film

Con Air (1997)

Directed by Simon West · Drama

115 minutes

IMDbLetterboxdJustWatch
Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Nicolas Cage Cameron Poe, a paroled former Army Ranger who works with the authorities to retake the titular flight.
John Cusack U.S. Marshal Vince Larkin, who discovers Poe's role in retaking the plane.
John Malkovich Cyrus "The Virus" Grissom, a highly intelligent career criminal and mastermind of the escape plot.
Ving Rhames Nathan "Diamond Dog" Jones, a black nationalist convicted of terrorism and Grissom's second-in-command.
Mykelti Williamson Mike "Baby-O" O'Dell, Poe's diabetic friend and cellmate.
Rachel Ticotin Officer Sally Bishop, the flight's only female corrections officer who is protected by Poe after being attacked by Johnny 23.
Monica Potter Tricia Poe, Cameron Poe's wife.
Landry Allbright Casey Poe, Cameron Poe's seven-year-old daughter.
Colm Meaney DEA Agent Duncan Malloy
Steve Buscemi Garland "The Marietta Mangler" Greene, a notorious serial killer . Director Simon West and Buscemi based the character on real-life serial killers Ed Gein , Ted Bundy , Charles Manson , Jeffrey Dahmer , John Wayne Gacy and Edmund Kemper .
Nick Chinlund William "Billy Bedlam" Bedford, a mass murderer convicted for killing his unfaithful ex-wife's family .
Danny Trejo John "Johnny 23" Baca, a serial rapist , nicknamed for his number of sex offense convictions.
Dave Chappelle Joe "Pinball" Parker, a low-level inmate convicted of heroin, armed robbery, and arson charges.
M.C. Gainey Earl "Swamp Thing" Williams, a convict with aviation expertise who serves as Cyrus' pilot.
Jesse Borrego Francisco Cindino, a treacherous South American drug baron and terrorist who helps Grissom (offscreen) plot the hijacking. Borrego studied Colombian narcoterrorist kingpin Pablo Escobar for the portrayal of this character.
Renoly Santiago (credited "Renoly") as Ramon "Sally-Can't Dance" Martinez, a cross-dressing inmate convicted of narcotics charges.
Brendan Kelly Conrad
John Roselius Deputy Marshal Skip Devers.
Jose Zuniga DEA Agent Willie Sims
Steve Eastin Officer Falzon, the leader of corrections officers on board the flight.
Kevin Gage Billy Joe, a drunken bar patron whom Poe kills in self-defense.
Dabbs Greer Old Man under Truck, Lerner Airfield

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

6:22

Roger Ebert's review
In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 00:06:22Read transcript
  • Ebert, reviewing for the Chicago Sun Times, gave it three out of four stars, and the hosts note he has got a few right on the nose; he wrote that it moves smoothly and with visual style and verbal wit, and the hosts count nine straight films where they have agreed with Ebert. Context recited alongside: $224 million gross on a $75 million budget, 55 on Rotten Tomatoes, mixed reviews.
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16:19

Most Rewatchable Scene

Cusack's scouting-report introduction of the inmates; stealing the second plane at the boneyard; the cons taking over...

Cusack's scouting-report introduction of the inmates; stealing the second plane at the boneyard; the cons taking over the plane

In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 00:16:19Read transcript
  • Candidates open with the rainstorm fight in which Nick Cage kills the drunk; the whole fight makes one host mad every time because the lawyer, the guy from Miami Vice, gives terrible advice to plead guilty and it comes out as ten years. The hosts debate going not guilty unless a deal is agreed with the judge, and conclude that Cameron Poe is kind of a dumbass who should have just got in the car and later got off the plane rather than stay for his diabetic buddy and his insulin.
  • Cusack's scouting report for the inmates is phenomenal; a host wishes more graphics and background had flashed up for each guy, Creed-style, six minutes long, and would have watched it forever.
  • Asked, as the fight-scene expert, whether there has ever been a crouch fight scene like the bunny-back-in-the-box fight: close-quarter fights exist, like the bathroom stall in Mission Impossible or the front-seat-and-back-seat car fight in the Raid, but this is the first crouch one. — Shea Serrano
  • More candidates: Cruzito trying to escape and steal the second plane, whom one host just calls Cruz; the whole boneyard sequence where the cons trap the soldiers and the plane explosion; the 'that's a rock' exchange while the plan is explained; and the plane landing on the Vegas Strip, making seven candidates.
  • A clear winner is declared: Cusack doing the introduction, the scouting report. An honorable mention is floated for the long montage of letters to his daughter, the hosts repeating 'Dear Casey', enjoying her two-word letter asking whether he is ever coming home, wondering whether the wife stopped writing, and relishing the unintentional comedy of him writing calmly while mattresses go over the balcony during a prison riot.
  • Asked for picks, one host goes with stealing the second plane for its unintentional comedy, propane and gas everywhere at an abandoned airfield, including Colm Meaney's car getting crashed into the tower; another goes Cusack, liking him in roles where he is a little smarter than everybody, as in Runaway Jury, and calling him one of the best parts of the movie despite seeming frustrated to be in it; a third has the cons taking over the plane.
  • The takeover is admired for the needle buried in the hand to pick the handcuffs, which the hosts would like Mythbusters to test, like other movie-easy things such as lighting gasoline by tossing a cigarette; it was so windy Cusack's wig flew around all movie yet people lit things. Johnny 23 stays in character, Cage has to prove again that he is a good guy, and his accent is great.
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23:15

Picking Nits

Poe's manslaughter conviction and legal representation; the Vegas Strip landing; who is in charge of the pursuit; the...

Poe's manslaughter conviction and legal representation; the Vegas Strip landing; who is in charge of the pursuit; the Jailbird as transport; no visibly armed guard; the DEA agent's collapse; cockpit access; Chappelle's fall from 20,000 feet

In the discussion (9)
Approx. transcript time · 00:23:15Read transcript
  • Usually saved for picking nits but raised at the top: the conviction is one of the most ludicrous moments in movie history. An honorably discharged Army Ranger back from serving his country is set upon by three degenerates in a rainstorm, one pulls a knife, and in self-defense he kills one with a palm strike, nose into the brain, then somehow goes to jail with the worst legal representation of all time. The judge's reasoning that his military skills make him a deadly weapon not subject to the same laws is questioned, Alabama lawyers are invited to write in, the knife that was never found and the witness who ran away are noted, and Serial season four is proposed for the parking lot.
  • Picking nits is moved up with 67 options because of the lawyers and the way movie bad guys love to antagonize military heroes; the host wants to know once and for all whether you can pull safety pins out of your hand like that, pointing listeners to themailbagattheringer.com while warning nobody to actually do it. The biggest absurdity besides Poe going to jail is landing a plane on the Vegas Strip, which is always packed and would take out a thousand people, being busier at four in the morning than anywhere in the world.
  • That one did not bother this host, who has been to Vegas twice but does not go out of the hotel room after 10 p.m. and assumes it is quiet. — Shea Serrano
  • Vegas is dubbed the city that sleeps at 11, going to bed in time for Kimmel.
  • Resuming, the hosts note only two nits were actually raised despite the promised 67; the whole movie is a nitpick.
  • Operational priorities on the cop side are unclear: the DEA guy Colm Meaney (transcribed 'Cole Meany') driving a sports car and throwing his weight around, the U.S. Marshals guy Cusack, the military's Black Hawk helicopters chasing the Jailbird and the army at the air base, with nobody clearly in charge of the pursuit of 20 terrible criminals. It is unclear where everybody was going beyond a new supermax for the worst of the worst or why non-terrible people are on board, and the Jailbird, 'no disrespect', is an old piece of junk hunker.
  • Why is nobody visibly armed on the plane, up on the platform with a rifle just in case? The man secretly armed instead, the DEA agent, pulled a Fredo Corleone or a Nathan Peterman, grabbing the gun, sweating and completely falling apart; this comes from the post-Miami Vice period when movie criminals really hated DEA scumbags.
  • Other nits: why not have someone with a gun shooting everybody when needed, and why is the cockpit not impossible to reach rather than a knock on the door.
  • As a nitpick on Chappelle's exit, throwing a guy out of a plane at 20,000 feet would cause far more damage than shown: he should have burst like a water balloon or gone seven feet into the concrete rather than ending up lying on a Volvo.
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27:51

What’s Aged the Best?

Malkovich saying the title twice; Nick Cage as an actor-first action hero; Cage's hair; Dave Chappelle; the 'Cy... an...

Malkovich saying the title twice; Nick Cage as an actor-first action hero; Cage's hair; Dave Chappelle; the 'Cy... anara' kill line; Buscemi's 'insane' speech; Malkovich as the heavy

In the discussion (9)
Approx. transcript time · 00:27:51Read transcript
  • Malkovich saying the title in the movie, two different times, is a favorite thing and the hallmark of Bruckheimer movies, like 'welcome to the Rock'; the hosts imagine Bruckheimer reading the script in the bathtub and jotting a note that nobody says the title.
  • Nick Cage has aged the best: he has become a punching bag, but people forget he won an Oscar and was an awesome action hero in the 90s, holding the Grantland action-hero championship belt for two or three years; unlike 80s action guys such as Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Seagal, he, Bruce Willis and Mel Gibson were actors before they were action heroes, and he rattles off post-murder one-liners like the bunny line.
  • The secret of the movie is that ridiculous things happen but the characters are played by smart, good actors buying in: Cusack, Malkovich, Ving, Buscemi and Cage are all great, and Malkovich is 100% evil, believing everything he is saying.
  • Cage's hair has aged the best, this being the best year for it: thinning, so he grew it out wavy, with no explanation for going from high and tight out of the army to an outrageous mullet in prison while bettering himself and learning Spanish, looking like a bass tech for Poison.
  • Chappelle has aged incredibly well, and there is more racially charged humor than remembered, which one host flatly labels racist, including a lot of characters using a slur for each other; Chappelle is nonetheless very funny. The Cyrus kill line 'Cy... anara' (transcribed 'Sigh! Anatta'), which he had prepared and was waiting for someone to call him Cy, is another thing that aged best.
  • The Buscemi and Cage exchange after Cage comes back up from the kill below is played as a clip: whether working 50 hours a week for 50 years and hoping to die before the indignity of the toilet is insane. Buscemi goes to nine other levels, 'most murders are a crime of necessity rather than desire', and would give the greatest TED talk; a host admits that movies mocking people for having a job hurt his feelings, as with Heat.
  • Malkovich has aged the best for this host, on his run of villains like In the Line of Fire, really in the pocket as the heavy, funny, smart and scary, knowing exactly how far to go; it was a great period when action movies stopped requiring jacked-up Jose Canseco types and instead hired incredible drama actors to elevate stupid material for less money than the action guys cost. — Chris Ryan
  • The trend started with Rickman in Die Hard and led to Lithgow and Malkovich; asked which Malkovich role comes to mind first, the answers are In the Line of Fire, Dangerous Liaisons and Teddy KGB, with Con Air right underneath; he looks the same in every movie yet his characters feel different, as in the Killing Fields, and Mile 22 gets a thumbs up with reservations.
  • For another host the best is Nick Cage.
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37:41

What’s Aged the Worst?

The Sally Can't Dance character; losing Chappelle at 43 minutes; Cusack's hair and air of being above the movie; the ...

The Sally Can't Dance character; losing Chappelle at 43 minutes; Cusack's hair and air of being above the movie; the prison guard's Current Affair, Hard Copy and Geraldo references; the guitar solo after the God line; the insulin subplot; Johnny 23

In the discussion (8)
Approx. transcript time · 00:37:41Read transcript
  • The Sally Can't Dance character is rough and not great; they probably would have cut it now, and even in the late 90s it was awkward and weird rather than something 1997 audiences thought was good.
  • Getting rid of Chappelle at 43 minutes has aged the worst; Chappelle could have helped the last two thirds, so cut somebody else and keep Pinball, the funny guy. The guess is they only had him for about three days, that he came up with his own dialogue, and that they did not know what they had.
  • Cusack's hair hurts: this is the first time it was going back as the 90s went along, like his best friend Piven, and he shows up with a flowing mane that flies around like a huge Trump wig in the convertible scenes. One host feels the movie is beneath him the whole time, an undertone of not believing his agent told him to do it, while another loves Cusack and places this right around Grosse Pointe Blank.
  • In Cusack's defense, Rosenberg wrote the parts for Cusack and Buscemi with them in mind; Colm Meaney's character even uses 'loquacious', and they are all idiots compared to Cusack, who is the one person in the movie, in sandals, who could have been you while everybody else is a superhero.
  • The gregarious, hilarious prison guard on the plane, a David Tao type (as transcribed), has aged the worst with his line about seeing eleven Current Affairs, two Hard Copies and a genuine Geraldo interviewee, shows that are all long gone. Also the cheesy guitar solo that kicks in when Cage, told by Bubba Gump that there is no God, declares that he will show God exists, after which Cage walks through a gunshot to the left arm without flinching.
  • The insulin subplot has aged poorly: there is no need for the diabetic shock the entire movie, since Cage could simply stay for Rachel Tickatin (as transcribed), who would be jumped by Johnny 23. Michael T. Williamson (as transcribed), whom a host really likes, spends the film shouting for his insulin, including 'get off my insulin' during the riot, and a secret favorite moment is Cage's weary 'Jesus' when Williamson gets shot.
  • Earlier, while picking nits, a host had meant to save the secretly armed DEA agent for aged worst: he pulled the Fredo Corleone, grabbed the gun, sweated and seemed out of control.
  • Johnny 23 has also aged the worst, though arguably it was aging badly even as the movie came out.
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42:28

Casting What-Ifs

Gary Oldman was the first choice for Cyrus the Virus; Robert Downey Jr., Charlie Sheen and Matthew Broderick were con...

Gary Oldman was the first choice for Cyrus the Virus; Robert Downey Jr., Charlie Sheen and Matthew Broderick were considered for Vince Larkin; Tim Roth was the first choice for the Marietta Mangler

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:42:28Read transcript
  • Gary Oldman was the first choice to play Cyrus the Virus; the hosts pass, glad it worked out the way it did.
  • Robert Downey Jr., Charlie Sheen and Matthew Broderick were considered for Vince Larkin, John Cusack's character, Downey then trying to get his career rehab going and winding up in US Marshals soon after. One host insists it is a better movie with Downey, who would sell the shaking hand with the gun on Poe; others disagree that Downey, 30% too cool, could play a role that needs to be a little nerdy. A host who takes Downey liked Cusack through Say Anything, then turned on him, and could see in his eyes that he felt Con Air was beneath him.
  • Tim Roth was the first choice for the Marietta Mangler, a dip into the Reservoir Dogs ensemble; thank God that did not work out.
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43:45

The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance

Dave Chappelle

Dave Chappelle

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:43:45Read transcript
  • It comes down to Chappelle or Buscemi, though Buscemi may not have been in enough of the movie, even if he probably does qualify; an argument is made for Swamp Thing, who does a nice job in just a few scenes, funny and a little charming despite being the wildly racist Aryan Brotherhood prisoner, and one host would hang out with him.
  • Asked who they picked for the heat check, the answer is Chappelle, who was great and incredible in what is almost a nothing part with no real role in the movie; the objection that you cannot pick Chappelle because of the racism material is met with the point that he only did the one line, and the pick stands.
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44:30

Half-Assed Internet Research

Kid Rock based 'American Badass' on Cameron Poe; Cage did most of his own stunts; Wendover Airport in Utah stood in f...

Kid Rock based 'American Badass' on Cameron Poe; Cage did most of his own stunts; Wendover Airport in Utah stood in for Lerner Airfield; the crash was originally set at the White House; the TV version adds a prison-riot rescue scene; the Sands Hotel was filmed before its November 1996 demolition; a crew member was crushed by a static C-123 model; Trisha Yearwood's version of the song was chosen over 14-year-old LeAnn Rimes'; Malkovich was unhappy with daily rewrites; Cusack reportedly refuses interviews about it yet told the BBC he would do a sequel; Simon West wanted a sequel in space; Chappelle improvised most of his lines

In the discussion (8)
Approx. transcript time · 00:44:30Read transcript
  • Kid Rock based 'American Badass' on Cameron Poe, who is the human version of that song; Cage did most of his own stunts and spoke of explosions five feet behind him, flaming helicopters dropping behind him and ball-bearing bullets over his head, 'a level of intensity, fear, you might say', which a host delivers in a voice halfway between Andrew Luck and Nick Cage.
  • Asked how many people died in the movie, answers of 24 and 43 are offered, since all those guys died at the boneyard, plus a case for another 500 in Vegas; fist-bumping on the Vegas Strip over a body shop for Colm Meaney's convertible is absurd after losing some 50 American soldiers in the desert. Wendover Airport in Utah stood in for the fictional Lerner Airfield, a fictional airfield with a lot of propane.
  • The climactic plane crash was originally intended to take place at the White House, which could have gone right into Olympus Has Fallen; Bruckheimer eventually decided Las Vegas was more in keeping with the spirit of the film, which the hosts sarcastically salute as a good call, Jerry.
  • The TV version includes an opening-credits scene in which a prison riot breaks out while Cage writes letters to his daughter and his diabetic friend saves him from the burning cell, which explains his loyalty; the hosts would have included it, trading fewer letters and less insulin for more prison riots, since the two-hour movie is a little fat at the end.
  • The hosts want a Cameron Poe prequel set in his eight years in prison, and before that a prequel to the prequel with Poe in the Army Rangers at war, perhaps narrated by Powers Boothe (transcribed 'Powers Booth'), who they think does the opening voiceover about the Rangers.
  • The crash site was filmed at the Sands Hotel before its demolition in November 1996, the production asking the hotel to wait a couple of weeks for the action scene; somebody was crushed to death at Wendover when a static model of the C-123 fell on him, which is why the credits end 'In Memory of Phil Schwartz'; Trisha Yearwood's version of the song was chosen over 14-year-old Leanne Rimes' original and became a massive hit.
  • True or false: Malkovich was unhappy during production because the script was being rewritten virtually every day and he had no idea how his character would turn out; the hosts believe it and think it shows in a performance that seems disturbed and angry, imagining him being handed the 'Cy... anara' exchange on set.
  • Two contradictory internet tidbits: Cusack allegedly dislikes the film so much he refuses to be interviewed about it, which would be odd given his many bad movies, versus Cusack telling the BBC News website in 2012 that a second Con Air 'would be fun' and he would do it if offered. Simon West thought another Con Air should be set in space, which the hosts greenlight as Con Shuttle with prisoners on Mars; on the DVD commentary of Chappelle's Show, Chappelle revealed that he improvised most of his lines on Con Air.
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50:26

Apex Mountain

Nicolas Cage

Nicolas Cage

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 00:50:26Read transcript
  • Only three names are on the list, with Buscemi thrown on; Nick Cage is a yes by far, though whether this or The Rock is the peak of his career is debated, with Con Air having made over 200 million bucks.
  • Asked whether they like this or The Rock more: this one for sure, so much better because it is not as 'serious'. Two of the hosts have discussed before that Connery is not that good in The Rock, an old man running around Alcatraz in a Scottish accent, whereas Ed Harris is incredible in it; the premise fails because Harris was going to shut it down anyway and nobody would have died if they had called his bluff. The preference is for prison movies and big, beefy Cage, who was miscast as a chemical super freak nerd in The Rock.
  • This is the Nick Cage movie: after the Oscar and The Rock, Con Air announced a major star going for stardom, and it seemed he would be in our lives for the long haul, which proved wrong when about five years later it was over and he started making weird movies. Today's generation gets twisted up in superhero clothing or Iron Man's metal suit, so there is no 80s-and-90s style action star anymore.
  • On Cage the vote is yes from one host, with another said to be a no, and the yes is allowed; Trejo is a no, his career apex being Machete, or right now as a brand with his tacos and businesses, or when the show gave him his own category.
  • Malkovich is a no, his apex being Dangerous Liaisons; Buscemi is a no but can be in there; one of the great things about the movie is that it caught a lot of people not at their apex but all really good at what they were doing.
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54:48

The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award

Monica Potter

Monica Potter

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 00:54:48Read transcript
  • The award goes to the actor or actress who makes you say 'oh, that guy' or 'oh, that girl' without remembering the name; Cruzito is out because his name is known, and MC Gaines' (as transcribed) Swamp Thing is nominated, one host not knowing who MC Gaines is, only that it was Swamp Thing.
  • Whether Swamp Thing was in the 'American Badass' video is wondered, since he looks like he would be; a host rewatched the video, having liked Kid Rock at the time, and was dismayed to find Confederate flags shown fast at first and then prominently featured.
  • Rachel Tickatin (as transcribed), whose name the hosts struggle to pronounce, is not a that-girl for one host because Total Recall, Man on Fire and this are enough of a body of work; she is called fantastic and a patron saint of the show for Man on Fire and this, deserving a better career, and her supposed Fisher King credit is corrected to 'Mercedes rule' (as transcribed).
  • The winner for one host is Rinaldi Santiago (as transcribed), texted earlier, who has really only been in two movies: the controversial Sally Can't Dance here and, more importantly, the little guy in Dangerous Minds who wins the class prize, feuds with Emilio, and has a weird one-on-one date with Michelle Pfeiffer, buying a jacket for it when the other two do not show up.
  • Another vote is Monica Potter, over the objection that people know her name from the Prefontaine movie, Parenthood and Patch Adams; the voter did not know her name either, having seen Patch Adams a couple of weeks ago and realized only then that she was the woman from Con Air.
  • Asked what he thinks, this host goes Potter, which is welcomed with a 'boom'. — Chris Ryan
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58:08

The Ruffalo / Hanna / Rubinek / Partridge Overacting Award

Colm Meaney

Colm Meaney

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:58:08Read transcript
  • There has never been an easier winner: Colm Meaney, awful in this movie, dialed up to insane levels and overpowering everybody in every scene. In one scene Cusack out-overacts the overactor, pleading from the helicopters flying behind the plane that Cage is a friend just trying to get home to his wife and kids, 'don't fire', with Meaney echoing 'don't fire'; Meaney was terrible in Mystery Alaska too.
  • Meaney is simply out of his comfort zone, dialing everything to ten out of ten, and the Cusack scene is bad; other nominees are Trejo, the most animated he has ever been as he really tries to be evil, and the soundtrack, because it never stops.
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59:28

Is This Movie Better With…?

Michael K. Williams

Michael K. Williams

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:59:28Read transcript
  • With two of the three already in the movie, Michael K. Williams wins by default, though the hosts do not want to add anyone; he could have been another prisoner on the plane, perhaps 'Osiris' in the imagined new version alongside Miles Teller, or the politically correct 2018 version of Johnny 23, an arsonist rather than a Bitcoin or blockchain guy.
  • At the top of the show the category is invoked: two of the three, 66%, are in this movie, which alone might make it a first-ballot Rewatchables Hall of Famer.
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1:00:42

The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie

"put the bunny back in the box"; "Define irony. A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song by a band that died in...

"put the bunny back in the box"; "Define irony. A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song by a band that died in a car crash"; "Sorry, boss. There's only two men I trust. One of them's me. The other's not you"; "it's not difficult to surmise how Nathan here feels about killing guards, and my own proclivities are well-known and often lamented facts of penal lore"

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:00:42Read transcript
  • Nominees: 'put the bunny back in the box'; Cyrus's 'Define irony. A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song by a band that died in a car crash'; and 'Sorry, boss. There's only two men I trust. One of them's me. The other's not you', which gets a vote because it sounds like something one of the hosts has said to another human being in his life.
  • The host it was aimed at confirms having said that line to several people. — Shea Serrano
  • Asked how many people he trusts and whether the questioner is one of them, the joke is that, like Cusack at the end of the movie, the questioner has been won over since they first met and is now one of the guys.
  • Cyrus's 'it's not difficult to surmise how Nathan here feels about killing guards, and my own proclivities are well-known and often lamented facts of penal lore' is admired; his dialogue is really good, which makes it upsetting that Malkovich was upset during the shoot. There are some great quotes in this movie.
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1:01:46

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Was the movie named Con Air before or after the script? How many people died when the plane landed on the Strip? Woul...

Was the movie named Con Air before or after the script? How many people died when the plane landed on the Strip? Would Poe really stay to save Baby O and the guard? Would the plane have been shot down in the first five minutes? Did Billy Bedlam's wife live? Was Denzel asked to be in the movie? Would you tell your daughter not to visit you in prison? Can you drink insulin? Would Monica Potter's character stick around? Why was there no sequel?

In the discussion (10)
Approx. transcript time · 01:01:46Read transcript
  • Did they name this movie Con Air before or after writing the script? Before: Con Air is the pitch, imagined as someone washing his hair in the shower, seeing a conditioner bottle and realizing it sounds like a flying prison.
  • How many people actually died in real life when they landed on the Strip? Guesses run to hundreds, 580, or 250 easy; a grisly question.
  • Would Nick Cage really care about saving Baby O and the female prison guard this much when he could just get off the plane and be with his wife and daughter? No; redemption and his being a good guy are offered, but he should have got off and then made a fuss.
  • In real life, wouldn't they have shot the plane down in the first five minutes? Yes; Colin Meaney (as transcribed) deciding not to shoot it down before it lands on the Vegas Strip as a fireball should put him on trial, hopefully not before Cameron Poe's judge, with the same lawyers urging a guilty plea.
  • Did Billy Bedlam's wife live after he killed her whole family, including the dog? Yes: he wanted her to live with the pain, 'heartbreak'; her story is pitched as another prequel, postquel or sequel.
  • Diamond Dog, Nathan Jones, former general of the Black Gorillas (as transcribed), wrote 'Reflections in a Diamond Eye' in prison, a bestseller and wake-up call that, according to the New York Times, has Denzel in talks for the movie; the hosts wonder whether Denzel was actually asked to be in this film, since Cusack's delivery sounds like a little shot at him. Denzel would have been great, though he would have had to play Cyrus, basically as the Training Day cop, making it a different movie with a different vibe.
  • Earlier: if you were in prison for eight years, would you tell your daughter not to come see you until you got out? One host would want to see the kids for something to look forward to every week; another counters that it depends whether you want to blend in or run the block, blood in, blood out; Poe's choice is called a little too unselfish.
  • A self-described dumb question: with no syringe to inject the insulin, could you not just drink it? Nobody knows how blood sugar works, and listeners are asked to answer.
  • Not to nitpick, but what is the likelihood that Monica Potter's character sticks around for Cage, who went into the Army to grow up, came back and went to prison the same night, showing up on a boat? She is probably married to a realtor in her area by year four, and Casey's new dad is pitched as the Con Air sequel, with Poe killing the real estate guy in Mobile.
  • Why wasn't there a sequel? Five or six new convicts and a hunt for the Marietta Mangler would do; you could make this movie every two years with new prisoners introduced the exact same way.
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1:04:49

Who Won the Movie?

Nicolas Cage

Nicolas Cage

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:04:49Read transcript
  • Asked who won the movie, the answer is that there is only one: it has to be Nick. — Shea Serrano
  • Cage's is a legacy-defining role, the moment he announced himself as the biggest star on planet Earth, with Kid Rock's song the right one about it, Confederate flags and all, awkward twenty years later; it has to be Nicolas Cage, nobody else.
  • A case is made for Buscemi, the guy with four lines: he is so good that they clearly added the end scene of him playing craps, which means he tested through the roof and Bruckheimer wanted him back for one more scene, maybe eyeing a sequel; the answer is still Nick Cage.
  • This is one host's favorite Nick Cage performance, the one time he put all the pieces together: white tank top tucked into dad jeans, the mullet, the amazing letters, 'Dear Casey', the promise to bring a bunny, secretly kind of funny.
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More from the conversation

The host opens by introducing the other two and declaring, half seriously, that this is the best movie ever made, over The Godfather and Citizen Kane, having realized it that morning after not watching it start to finish in about two and a half years.
Approx. transcript time · 00:01:11Read transcript
Asked whether this is everything ever wanted in a movie: yes, since neither of the films just mentioned has an airplane prison in it.
Approx. transcript time · 00:01:42Read transcript
The pitch: an airplane prison break movie with Steve Buscemi joking about Sweet Home Alabama as it plays, John Malkovich dropping gems, and mulleted Nicolas Cage doing roundhouse kicks in a Georgia accent. The plot recap begins with honorably discharged Army Ranger Cameron Poe, actually from Alabama, sentenced to eight to ten years for manslaughter after killing one of three drunken men who attacked him and harassed his pregnant wife.
Approx. transcript time · 00:01:58Read transcript
Paroled after eight years, Poe for some reason cannot just go home and must ride the flying prison, the Jailbird, with the convicts, another loophole; the bar degenerates' taunt about losing Vietnam, 22 years on, puzzles the hosts, who wonder whether that is the lowest insult for military people and note the recurring action-movie device of a victim doing something despicable right before his comeuppance.
Approx. transcript time · 00:05:36Read transcript
True or false, two Oscar nominations: true, Best Original Song for 'How Do I Live', sung by Trisha Yearwood after Leanne Rimes was bumped, and Best Sound, both lost to Titanic; this was Simon West's first film as director and Jerry Bruckheimer's first without Don Simpson, after which Bruckheimer went on a heat-check, iso-ball run.
Approx. transcript time · 00:07:30Read transcript
Con Air catches Cage in one of the most epic rewatchable runs anyone has had: off the Leaving Las Vegas Oscar into The Rock, Con Air and Face Off, the holy trilogy, with Kiss of Death before it (defended to the death by one host and assigned as weekend homework to another who has never seen it) and Snake Eyes, 8mm and Gone in 60 Seconds after; comparable runs weighed include Omar Epps, Clooney (tainted by a Spy Kids cameo), Hanks and Jennifer Lawrence, who bumbled it at the goal line.
Approx. transcript time · 00:08:18Read transcript
Cage's hair goes through phases and he is jacked, reportedly lifting weights between scenes, which the hosts jokingly credit to python or dragon blood; screenwriter Scott Rosenberg's five-year run (Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead, Beautiful Girls, Con Air, Disturbing Behavior, Gone in 60 Seconds) and Ving Rhames' run (Pulp Fiction, Kiss of Death, Mission Impossible, ER, Rosewood, Con Air) are admired.
Approx. transcript time · 00:11:35Read transcript
The inmate roll call: how many dinners it took to invent the nicknames; Cyrus the Virus (Malkovich, A plus, has killed more men than cancer and done every crime but one); Diamond Dog (Ving Rhames, a Black Panther type, the most tolerable, with Denzel Washington set to play him in the movie of his life); Pinball (Dave Chappelle); and Billy Bedlam, the best name of the bunch and later a Training Day crew member, whose rap sheet, delivered Cusack-fast, is that he caught his wife in bed with another man, left her alone and drove four towns over to kill her parents, brothers, sisters and dog.
Approx. transcript time · 00:12:44Read transcript
Steve Buscemi's Marietta Mangler arrives Hannibal Lecter-style in a robot mask, the guards having learned from the mistakes in Silence of the Lambs, and even the other prisoners fear him; Swamp Thing flies the plane; Sally Can't Dance is parked for later; Danny Trejo's Johnny 23, the show's favorite, with a flower tattooed on his arm for each victim, is judged too intense and likely to be cut from a 2018 version.
Approx. transcript time · 00:14:29Read transcript
Vudu ad: the hosts' picks for the service include True Romance, Zodiac, Eight Men Out, Basic Instinct, Kingpin, Cruising, Double Jeopardy (an Ashley Judd rewatchable candidate for 2019) and Bloodsport, which was the first episode recorded for one host's villains podcast and then ditched as a practice run; whether kids are ready for Con Air leads to the TNT version and a prediction that Trejo's scenes will be cut dramatically by 2024.
Approx. transcript time · 00:25:11Read transcript
A modern recast: Chris Hemsworth as Cameron Poe, whose Southern accent would turn Australian thirty minutes in; Miles Teller as Vince, with Lucas Hedges and Chalamet too young for U.S. Marshals; Armie (transcribed 'Army') making it the Call Me by Your Name cast; and Jeremy Strong from Succession as Cyrus, with Craig nodding along.
Approx. transcript time · 00:52:10Read transcript
A rule: you have to stay with someone who goes to prison as long as the sentence is shorter than the time you have known them, because you owe it to them; a spouse could eat a 15-year manslaughter charge, a kid only aggravated assault; the hosts work out that four years in they would stick and five years they are out, and Craig is told to keep it in mind when he falls in love.
Approx. transcript time · 00:57:20Read transcript
Is Con Air a first-ballot action Hall of Famer? Easily, but not Mount Rushmore: Die Hard and Predator take two spots automatically, Taken may deserve one for starting the older-actor action hero, and genre-shifting is the test, which Con Air did not do and Face Off was too close to it. One host doubts Predator for dated effects while others defend its thermal vision, lasers, sound, Bill Duke and Jesse Ventura, allowing that Schwarzenegger's body of work could be disqualified after the allegations.
Approx. transcript time · 01:06:25Read transcript
Sign-off: Con Air was as fun as expected; one more episode next week, Tombstone, posted right before Christmas.
Approx. transcript time · 01:08:13Read transcript