The category introduces a long list of recurring commentary personas and alternate performers. — Bill Simmons
Nell and Harley-Maze are included in the rapid-fire roster, but their identities are not safely resolved from the undiarized transcript. — Bill Simmons
Longlegs is requested as the fortune teller. — Chris Ryan
Bill Cobbs (transcribed Cops/Cubs) is debated as too established to be a That Guy despite popping up in Demolition Man and New Jack City; he seemed the same age for 25 years like Wilford Brimley. — Van Lathan
Later, the actor who played Fletcher is identified as Norm Nixon's son, with Debbie Allen as his stepmom; shout-out to Devon Nixon. — Van Lathan
Robert Redford is named and agreed to immediately, with only Brimley's chest hair as an alternative; a case is made for Pop as the heart of the film, the maimed Fisher King whose Holy Grail Roy pursues as Percival, finally getting the win with help, a reminder that you cannot do it on your own.
Pop gives a lot, and Red is iconic but probably not in it enough to win.
Redford, Glenn Close and Duval (as transcribed) are all no, and it might be no one; Darren McGavin might have been at his apex here if he had been credited.
A small case for Kim Basinger is rejected since LA Confidential, where she was nominated and the hosts are unsure whether she won, came at the tail end of her career, although this film moved her career to the next level.
A case is made for Brimley, which would stab Chris Ryan through the heart given The Firm; the hosts settle jokingly on his chest hair being an Apex Mountain.
Screenwriter Roger Towne is floated and met with 'didn't do much else', drawing only a 'sure, that was the best I could do'; Batboy Bobby is floated as a joke; Levinson's apex is Rain Man or Diner, and Redford's was judged All the President's Men in that earlier episode, though he won a directing Oscar for Ordinary People.
Basinger is in the final eight of a most-beautiful-woman-in-a-movie bracket, and her constant lip licking raises whether it is deliberate or just her essence; Diane Lane in Unfaithful is a similar case.
Brimley and Farnsworth as Pop and Red are perfect and some of the best stuff in the movie; it is sobering that Brimley was the same age as one host is now yet seems 78, and only about two years older than Redford in real life.
Hobbs played semi-pro ball for the Hebrew Oilers, prompting a hunt for t-shirts on Cafe Press or Redbubble; the Randy Newman score was Oscar-nominated, is instantly associated with the film, and gets yanked for NBA and World Series montages.
Basinger is named again, with a nod to Alec Baldwin and their handsome couple; Max Mercy, who never played sports but makes it more fun to watch, is a model for sports media, and the hosts imagine him resisting digital media at the New York Daily News, still drawing cartoons, before being wooed by Sirius for Mad Dog Radio or a podcast.
John Rhodes, the Pittsburgh lefty who is a Roy Hobbs spitting image with a good throwing motion, is great casting, and the slow-motion shot of the guys flying out of the dugout after the homer is an all-time favorite.
Roy Hobbs is a three-true-outcomes player for the modern era, homering, striking out or walking, like 2003 Bonds or a nine-WAR player with a 184 wRC+, though his defensive value would be poor since he is slow and unwieldy and his side hurts every time he reaches for a ball.
The old-school baseball fashion and aesthetics, especially the Cubs uniforms, have aged wonderfully, even though the heavy fire-retardant uniforms look as warm as wildling furs.
Iris as an independent spirit and trailblazing feminist: Roy gets her pregnant in the barn, proposes romantic bullshit and never returns, and she raises the boy alone in Chicago with a nice apartment, a job and a drugstore where they know her name, can get an usher to deliver a note, and still gets the guy at the end.
The final pick is Red and Pop, with a wish for 30 minutes of deleted dugout ad-libs or a mic'd-up game, or else the iconic score.
Hobbs versus the Whammer is fantastic; Joe Don Baker is the best Hollywood Babe Ruth, with the size, nose, gut and swagger, compared favorably to John Goodman; the scene dates to 1923, Ruth's 14-WAR MVP season, and both hosts prefer the Whammer as a cover rather than naming Babe Ruth, partly because a lefty would have been needed.
The foul tip taking out Duval (as transcribed), or rather the poor old catcher, with nobody wearing masks is noted, and Duval backing up twenty paces, to the Whammer's protest about how he will call it from there, is a classic moment.
Hobbs' first batting practice, with the Wonderboy clip played, is wonderful for three reasons: the sheer spectacle like Josh Hamilton in a home run derby, Brimley guzzling the filthy water he had complained about, and the 'I've been here every day' line that shows Roy is kind of a dick, entitled and owed something; Redford's swing was modeled on Ted Williams per the Roger Angel New Yorker piece (as transcribed), and he and Costner both looked like ballplayers.
Roy storming out of the meeting, deflowering Iris and immediately falling for the bad-luck niece after Pop's warning, then slumping, shows poor judgment with women and no understanding of birth control, which is excused as 1923.
Third on one list is Hobbs' first at bat, tearing the cover off the ball as the rain comes at the perfect time; the 'is this team alive' exchange between Red and Pop captures the rhythms of a baseball season when a team gets hot; Roy's batting-practice pitch and Max Mercy sprinting from his seat raise whether he could still pitch with the bullet in his side, answered with pain tolerance and no Toradol.
Other nominees: the lady in white scene with Glenn Close standing up, Hobbs' homer breaking the Wrigley Field clock, which did not exist until two years later, Brimley crossing Hobbs out of the lineup, Roy's last at bat, and the lightning bolt splitting the tree to forge Wonderboy, with the glowing stump called good special effects for 1984.
The 'losing is a disease' speech, comparing losing to syphilis and the bubonic plague, is hilarious, and the newspaper headline montages are praised for propelling the pace like Twitter or push notifications, though that is ruled to belong in what's aged the best.
One pick is the walk-off homer, the greatest chill scene of any sports movie, except perhaps Rocky getting up in the 14th round of Rocky 1; everything leading up to it, breaking Wonder Boy and 'pick me a winner, Bobby' with the Savoy special, is iconic.
The other pick, after 35 years of watching, is Hobbs showing up for the final game while Brimley shaves, with the 'suit up' clip played twice; a dad who calls whenever it is on to quote 'you're the best damn hitter I ever saw' is recalled.
Wilford Brimley's chest hair in that scene, and every scene, is like a forest, a peninsula, a platypus bill, a pelt; the hosts wonder how he does not trim it, whether it is a masculine calling card and whether he is still alive at 84.
