The Rewatchables ·
Who won the movie
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Roger Ebert
“That Guy” Award
Thomas Rosales Jr.
Scorsese or Spielberg
Spielberg
The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award · 1:02:58
Kyle Brandt: Crisp is provocatively defended as a father seeking his son, reframing Kimball and the mother negatively despite Crisp’s violence.
Bill Simmons: Over the Top and Commando are comparisons for a father trying to recover a child; Kimball’s separation from his own son is contrasted with Crisp’s persistence.
The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson · 1:35:26
Kyle Brandt: Kindergarten teachers can make a major difference in children’s lives.
Selected cast credits · Film reference
In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.
Schwarzenegger’s 1990 action/comedy run is called his apex, with agreement.
The first classroom day and the tumor exchange
Ferrets receive an emphatic early Apex suggestion, with The Big Lebowski raised as a comparison.
Teachers punching a parent, with the principal approving, is called an especially1990 stretch.
Schwarzenegger is reported to have pushed for child-abuse and divorce themes.
Crisp smoking past Brookstone at the mall overtakes milk as the most1990 choice.
Ordinary Schwarzenegger line deliveries and the explicit Austrian explanation for his accent are enjoyed.
Astoria, the poster and ponytailed villains stand out; the cameo, beard and child-abuse discussion also receive attention.
The nightmare scene
Astoria is the scene-stealing location.
Milk
Premiere quotations describe children noticing nose-picking and Schwarzenegger teaching toughness.
None found
The restaurant scene’s convincing romantic chemistry is the83-point surprise.
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
Crisp’s mother-son relationship and the partner’s eating/vomiting material are the weak-link choices.
Rectal thermometers lead the Aged Worst discussion alongside violence, old classroom practices and uncomfortable gags.
Crisp: 6.5/10 and 4/10; his mother: 4/10
A recess sports sequence with Schwarzenegger and the children is wanted, especially dodgeball.
One hot take provocatively defends Crisp; the other would sacrifice the movie to prevent inferior copies.
Reported alternatives include Murray and Swayze; DeVito, O’Hara, Bullock, Wood, Slater and an uncertain Hepburn story follow.
The overalls girl and anatomy-line child are the Heat Check candidates.
Cameron is proposed to direct; Roberts, Cage, Turner and several mother-role alternatives are suggested.
The toy-store customer (death uncertain)
Flex pick · Kyle Brandt
Research reports the school location, a private workout gym, deleted scenes, a Criterion prank and five rules for child actors.
Schwarzenegger; action/kids hybrids; Astoria; comic tumor references; Brookstone: yes
Cruise is preferred; Hanks with children and Cruise as Crisp are also considered.
Spielberg
A final physical brawl is wanted instead of relying on gunshots.
The undercover mission, partner’s illness and Kimball’s absent family
Kimball fails at protecting Dominic during the fire and shootout.
A prestige remake would get a trial, with Ritchson and various dramatic actors or athletes proposed.
Gus Johnson calling the final showdown is the imagined addition.
Hair and makeup for the beards and ponytails; score also considered
Questions concern a possible Stallone jab, interchangeable supporting actresses and the original teacher’s fate.
A radically sadder ending killing Kimball is imagined, following more jokes about the displaced teacher.
School merchandise and a complete Crisp outfit are desired.
Teachers matter; married people can dress casually
Craig’s inserted first-watch review is positive overall, despite eye rolls and confusion about Crisp.
Craig proposes Richard Tyson for the actor-in-his-own-movie award.
The panel proposes a new category here.
The brief Austria answer is Craig’s favorite line.
