Roadhouse dialogue, throat-ripping and a crude prison taunt are jokingly transplanted into Kindergarten Cop rather than reported as actual scenes. — Bill Simmons
Reported DeVito consideration is questioned because the police role seems implausible despite the opposite height joke; a Roadhouse crossover with Sam Elliott is imagined. — Bill Simmons
Catherine O Hara is reported unavailable because of Home Alone; Sandra Bullock and Elijah Wood are said not to have landed parts. The speaker’s identification of Joyce as the abused child’s mother is uncertain. — Bill Simmons
Christian Slater is said to have been considered for Crisp after Heathers but to have chosen Pump Up the Volume, which receives approval. — Bill Simmons
A story that Audrey Hepburn rejected Eleanor Crisp because she loved children is explicitly treated as unverified; the thermometer scene is joked about.
Helen Slater prompts debate among this film, Supergirl and The Secret of My Success, with box-office failures weighed against the Michael J. Fox opportunity. — Bill Simmons
City Slickers is counteroffered; expectations for Slater are compared to Elizabeth Shoe and Kelly Preston, with a hypothetical Working Girl role. — Bill Simmons
Billie Jeans prompt comparison of the film, song and tennis player, with uncertainty about the filmmakers’ reaction to the shared name and a Billy the Kid interpretation. — Bill Simmons
Fair being fair and short-haired women are proposed; specific haircut memories remain uncertain. — Chris Ryan
The sheriff's attempted rape of Marian is judged badly aged, especially its comic staging and length in a PG-13 adventure; the intended bloodline motivation does not excuse the tonal problem. — Bill Simmons
Costner's hair and appearance are criticized; reports of disagreement over whether to use an accent are offered to explain its inconsistency. — Bill Simmons
The nude swimming double is discussed as visibly different, with cold-water protection reported as the reason and additional joking speculation.
A wish for a more attractive Little John's wife is challenged by the medieval forest setting and her many children; LeBrock and Helen Mirren are hypothetical alternatives. — Bill Simmons
The competing Robin Hood film is an aged-worst observation, with its reported gross contrasted with this hit. — Bill Simmons
Slater is considered wasted as a resentful Will Scarlet; his charming ad-lib at the end suggests a livelier role, while his career stage offers a possible reason for accepting it.
The lack of communication before Robin returns to discover his father's death is joked about as life before postal service.
DiCaprio as John would work by making him 13 and nudging the war to 2000, countered that the first film fixed the date.
Michael Biehn as the T-1000, out of respect for an under-appreciated glue-guy actor who was the hero of the first film and was off shooting Tombstone while everyone returned.
The pick is called porn for Chris, president of the Biehn fan club, and Biehn's appearance in The Mandalorian is celebrated.
Furlong's performance is an uneven basketball box score, with a few threes, turnovers and LaMelo-like flashes, occasionally delivering a great pocket pass.
Furlong gives glimpses of what could have been one of the best if the consistency held, but creatively and personally could not get out of his own way. — Van Lathan
Two years earlier Leo from Growing Pains could have played John and taken it to another level; around 1985, River Phoenix or Christian Slater. Furlong was about 13 playing 10 and does not hurt the movie. — Bill Simmons
The Arnold-is-the-good-guy reveal aged worst in that nobody remembers how huge it was; nephews are instead surprised Arnold is the villain in the first film. — Bill Simmons
The 'why do you cry' exchange is corny and would have been cut despite its later payoff. — Bill Simmons
Furlong aged during the shoot: his voice broke and a growth spurt forced reshoots, looping, and standing in a hole to keep his height below Linda Hamilton's. — Bill Simmons
Little else aged badly; the movie is called pretty flawless and the others have nothing to add. — Bill Simmons
Christian Slater gets a yes, with two agreeing voices; the next level was expected via Young Guns and Robin Hood but never happened, though True Romance briefly revived the belief.
Heathers and this film convinced everyone he was a leading man, given how many monologues he gets. — Andy Greenwald
Samantha Mathis is at her Apex, with a joke to rename it Nora De Niro Mountain or put her face on it. — Bill Simmons
Pirate radio movies are at their Apex; the 2009 Pirate Radio with Philip Seymour Hoffman is called worse, and the agreement is "This was its best."
The Pixies are raised for Apex: one voice says this is a bigger Pixies drop than Where Is My Mind in Fight Club "just because it's so perfect", the counterargument that Fight Club can still be watched is called fair, and the case ends only with "I can see that argument." — Andy Greenwald
Flipping switches is proposed because the switch sound design is so satisfying; the reply is "Great point."
Asked whether this is Apex Mountain for PO boxes, the answer is yes, adding the claim that the Unabomber killed PO boxes. — Bill Simmons
The last Apex is the pre-Nevermind alternative college-radio era, with 1990 called the peak before grunge; another voice agrees such a soundtrack could not be made a few years later. — Bill Simmons
As read on air, Slater became physically ill several times from the cigarette smoking during filming. — Bill Simmons
As read on air, the school was based on a Montreal high school where the director's sister taught that weeded out students who lowered averages. — Bill Simmons
As read on air, the director wanted to choreograph the fake-masturbation dance but Slater overruled him to keep it spontaneous. — Bill Simmons
As read on air, the film was shot in Santa Clarita, which a host finds very Arizona-like. — Bill Simmons
As read on air, Slater's license had been suspended for the second time in two years, so his character could not drive and Nora drives in the finale. — Bill Simmons
Cusack is raised early and cut off as stepping on Casting What-Ifs. — Chris Ryan
The hosts say the director wanted John Cusack, who liked the script but said he had played his last teenage role; a host is glad because Cusack would have been too old. — Bill Simmons
Moyle's interviews stress how young Slater was, but a host notes Slater turned 51 the day before, so he was at least 20 during filming. — Andy Greenwald
Shep Shepard reporter; gay caller performance; short on-screen shows; bedroom posters; the man who works with gangs downtown; wraparound shades; eagerness to phone
The Shep Shepard TV reporter role could have been much funnier in better hands. — Bill Simmons
The actor in the gay caller scene underdelivers, as if a replacement was grabbed that day; the budget shows in some one-scene supporting parts.
A crossover is proposed in which Die Hard's Dick Thornberg washes up in Mesa hoping Hard Harry is his way back to network.
The shows seen on screen are too short to build an audience; the film should show one running until 2:30 a.m.
Bedroom posters in 1985-94 films were wrong, a missed chance for Nike basketball, hip-hop and alt-rock posters; Boogie Nights and my so-called life are praised for getting them right. — Bill Simmons
The man who works with gangs "downtown", raised earlier as the film's only Black character and deferred to this category along with the police-department banter, is recalled as "the gang leader" and called tough.
Slater is impeccably cool except when he dons wraparound shades to visit his PO box, looking like Max Headroom. — Chris Ryan
Mark's eagerness to cold-call people on his cordless phone is what made one host recoil in 2020. — Andy Greenwald
Eyeball is all nickname and the actor is not especially great; a better-known actor of the era such as Jason Patric or Charlie Sheen would make it more fun. — Bill Simmons
