Helen Slater prompts debate among this film, Supergirl and The Secret of My Success, with box-office failures weighed against the Michael J. Fox opportunity. — Bill Simmons
City Slickers is counteroffered; expectations for Slater are compared to Elizabeth Shoe and Kelly Preston, with a hypothetical Working Girl role. — Bill Simmons
Billie Jeans prompt comparison of the film, song and tennis player, with uncertainty about the filmmakers’ reaction to the shared name and a Billy the Kid interpretation. — Bill Simmons
Fair being fair and short-haired women are proposed; specific haircut memories remain uncertain. — Chris Ryan
Putter’s mother reportedly slapped Yeardley Smith for real, leaving her face numb; Smith reportedly refused a haircut and used a concealed ponytail. — Bill Simmons
Smith’s comic timing is praised; City Slickers and an uncertain sitcom memory are discussed. — Bill Simmons
The miniature golf course is reported replaced by the Texas State Aquarium, and an abandoned-mall video is mentioned. — Chris Ryan
The claim that Benatar called this the worst movie ever made is repeated with explicit doubt and a settle-down response. — Bill Simmons
Fast-Rewind accepts visitor-submitted anecdotes, so stories about Helen Slater’s haircut opinions are treated as unverified. — Chris Ryan
The retrospective list is framed around the speaker’s own high-school years and five favorite high-school movie characters. — Bill Simmons
The five named favorites are Kelly Preston in Secret Admirer and Mischief, Helen Slater in Billie Jean, Joyce [transcribed Heiser] in Just One of the Guys, an garbled Karate Kid actress, and Mia Sarah in Ferris Bueller. — Bill Simmons
Jennifer Gray in Ferris Bueller is added. — Bill Simmons
Rebecca D. Moray in Risky Business is excluded because her character is not in high school; Molly Ringwald was not a favorite, and Sean Young in Stripes is excluded as an adult. — Bill Simmons
Mitch's Mets fandom is the number one nit: at seven in 1959 the Mets did not exist, and nobody that overwhelmed by the Yankees would switch; the explanation offered is a Mets donation to Comic Relief, plus Mandel and Ganz being Mets fans.
Nobody flips out like this at 39; it should be about 46, when mortality kicks in, which draws 'I beg to differ.'
Helen Slater's character carrying on alone after her friend cancels is doubted, countered that it is more believable in 1991 without cell phones.
Bruno Kirby's character being married to a 25-year-old lingerie model while running a sporting goods store is called absurd, after a nod to his alpha look.
Helen Slater's character choosing Phil, about to be economically destitute after sleeping with a 20-year-old, is troubling.
Curly was not buried nearly deep enough.
A favorite: everyone cheers the ranch owner's refund after one guide dropped dead and the other two tried to kill them.
The Mets hat still can't be gotten over.
The centrality of baseball, like arguing Clemente versus Aaron, is called wild and antiquated, but also something enjoyed about the movie; today they would argue NBA player empowerment and Kyrie.
A skipped nit: Helen Slater's character and Phil never interact before leaving together; she is probably reckless. — Bill Simmons
Cattle vacations get a yes, but another reply says it depends on whether Westworld counts as a cattle vacation, which is called a good call.
Shooting the running of the bulls in Pamplona for one scene is called a real Hollywood flex, with a joke about a missed Rossellini movie. — Bill Simmons
The two drunk cattle hands; the last third; the opening animated credits; the VCR recording conversation; Ron Underwood's filmography; veal; the ranch owner's sale speech; City Slickers II
The two drunk cattle hands are bizarre: after Curly dies they play with guns and taunt Mitch about killing Norman, with no hint earlier that they were evil.
Many 80s and 90s movies invent two characters to supply 20 minutes of tension; these two only introduce Curly by threatening Helen Slater's character, and a Taylor Sheridan version would have had a shootout.
The last 35 minutes fall off, with crossing a river as the major tension. — Bill Simmons
The expensive animated opening credits of a cowboy doing a rope trick are a long time suck, unlike thematically coherent Pink Panther openings.
A conversation about recording on a different VCR channel could not have aged worse and would take an hour to explain to Craig.
Ron Underwood's IMDb is read: Tremors, City Slickers, Heart and Souls, Speechless, Mighty Joe Young, The Adventures of Pluto Nash and Stealing Sinatra, prompting a 'JV Rob Reiner' comparison.
The movie makes you feel bad about eating veal, though veal parm is still enjoyed. — Bill Simmons
The ranch owner's speech about selling the cattle is called a bit of a picking nit and jokingly credited as the birth of veganism.
Without being sure it counts as aged the worst, the era's tone, an extra bad dad joke in every scene and Mark Shaman's score with gospel music during the stampede, is called corny and soft and said to belong to an era.
City Slickers 2 is called a money grab; Kirby not returning is likened to Duvall not doing Godfather 3, Palance returns as a twin, and Lovitz replaces Kirby with Godfather 2 speeches.
City Slickers 2 was not fired up deliberately: it came on during a channel flip while Lovitz was doing Godfather 2, and watching started from there. — Bill Simmons
Kirby's absence from the sequel was never explained; a reported excuse is a horse allergy that required shots on set, and internet rumors of a falling-out and blackballing by Crystal are called absurd, though Kirby's IMDb fell apart. — Bill Simmons
Jeffrey Wells of Hollywood Elsewhere is quoted theorizing that actors labeled bad news get avoided, and the host stresses he is not saying Crystal did this. — Bill Simmons
A 2001 USA Today junket exchange for America's Sweethearts is recounted: asked about Kirby, the answer was not having seen or spoken to him in a long time but thinking they were still friends, followed by calling the reporter the worst junket story. — Bill Simmons
Kirby's later career dropped off apart from roles like Donnie Brasco and Sleepers, and he died young. — Bill Simmons
Stepping in early, one host says Robert Downey Jr. (transcribed 'Danny Jr.') as Kevin would make it a better movie; the other says he likes Andrew McCarthy. The name is spoken as 'Robert Downey as Kevin is the sweet spot' at 148. — Bill Simmons
For the Wendy part, an era-specific, better-looking brunette is sought: Daphne Zuniga (transcribed 'Daphne Zaniga'), contrasting with Demi Moore; the reply is "I like that." — Bill Simmons
Justine Bateman is raised and rejected as too famous given her 1985 show. — Chris Ryan
