Founder and Managing Director, The Ringer
Bill Simmons
Founder of The Ringer and a regular voice on The Rewatchables. Appears in all ten episodes selected for this pilot.
Also referred to as Bill, Simmons
Stats
- Episodes credited in this archive
- 437
- Movies in this archive
- 419
- Attributed podcast choices
- 99
Across the table
Appearing on these Rewatchables episodes
My Best Friend's Wedding
1997 film
Bill Simmons · Juliet Litman · Amanda Dobbins
Aired August 9, 2018
Die Hard
1988 film
Bill Simmons · Chris Ryan · Jason Concepcion · Sean Fennessey
Aired August 1, 2018
Creed
2015 film
Bill Simmons · Wesley Morris · Sean Fennessey · K. Austin Collins
Aired March 14, 2018
Get Out
2017 film
Bill Simmons · Wesley Morris · Sean Fennessey · K. Austin Collins
Aired February 27, 2018
Mentioned in discussions
The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award
One night with the It Follows girl is worth it; better than Obsession, Hereditary and Weapons; it would make $180 million today; Maika Monroe holds the Scream Queen belt; the sequel should be a comedy
In the discussion (10)
- Rolling the dice for a one-nighter with the It Follows girl: at every point from age 18 to 27 the answer would have been fuck it, worth the demon STD.
- It goes straight into the doctrine of bet on yourself, counting on scoring again in the next couple of nights; there is no time limit to pass it along.
- Changing the Catherine Trammell would you throw your life away award to the would you have sex with the It Follows girl award, or the Bill Simmons I would award, is floated.
- Another take: this movie is better than Obsession, Hereditary and Weapons, the elevated horror of the last 15 years, because it has a lot on its mind and peels back more every time, down to her broken hand holding Paul's at the end.
- Piggybacking, if it came out right now with a big studio it would make $180 million, at least 100, and it is very similar to Obsession.
- Part of what people respond to with horror is newness and surprise, so for the sequel no trailer is wanted, just the title and one second.
- The sequel's title is argued as They Follow or They Follows, and Paul is not in it.
- Micah Monroe (as transcribed) still has the Scream Queen belt, with competition from Jessica Roth (as transcribed) and Samara Weaving, after Jamie Lee in the 80s, Neve Campbell in the 90s and Naomi Watts in the aughts for Ring, Ring 2, the Funny Games remake and Mulholland Drive.
- Funny Games is not a rewatchable because it's not a fun hang, and the dad, Tim Roth, is a zero out of ten on the protect my family scale.
- The last take is that the sequel should change genres into a straight comedy, just Paul trying to get laid as people come towards him, made by the This Is the End crew.
Most Rewatchable Scene
Marcy and Jack's deaths
In the discussion (19)
- The walk-through starts with the opening scene set in 1958, where counselors sing Michael Rode, Roll the Boat of Shore (as transcribed) before Jason's mom takes them down, and the sex scene never comes.
- Because of that song it may be a religious camp, which leads to a riff on over the pants contact and the acronym OTPHJ, which one participant, who grew up in Baton Rouge, had never heard.
- Annie's car ride to Camp Blood, the journey to Crystal Lake, is a good horror setup: a local who coexists with the evil tells her to stop and get out, and the truck driver who gives her a ride grabs her ass as she gets in.
- A participant who left the Sycamore office imagines being told that Simmons' house is where people go to die, and refusing to come over.
- She heads to a camp in the middle of the woods while a whole diner warns her off, with a left at the cemetery as another red flag; the butt grab is thought to have been directed, and one participant got nervous the driver was another Texas Chainsaw guy.
- Starting the killing with a character outside the main narrative shows how much danger everyone else is in; the sequels, especially two and three, open with the last 10 minutes of the previous movie to get a kill in, because the next 40 minutes are kids hanging out.
- Her scene ends in a graphic throat cut; it is her second hitchhiking ride, and after getting away from the first guy she seems comfortable with the next person, whose car keeps going past the sign.
- The mom as the villain was a zag in the theater, and it makes sense because every victim greets the killer from the killer's POV; it later became legend, with a film bro kid in middle school explaining that it is actually Jason's mom.
- Jack, Kevin Bacon's character, and Marcy buying it are a couple of good deaths: the through-the-bed death was filmed with his head over the bed and a fake body, and Jack probably died happy with a quick arrow through the throat.
- Marcy getting the axe to the forehead is a disappointing death because she saw it coming, and the last thing she sees is the scariest thing in the world.
- Jason's mom is called one of the greatest female athletes ever, killing since 58 and getting better over time like Derrick Henry, versatile enough to throw a body through a window and keep her blue sweater clean.
- At the end she explains her reasons like she is doing a podcast, a gimmick Fruising (as transcribed) also had, prompting an impression of Matt Bellany (as transcribed) asking whether one death is a good enough reason to kill the counselors.
- Alice finds Bill and the rest of the bodies, Bill with an arrow through the eyeball, and builds a barricade compared to Minecraft Mike Tomlin; then Jason's mom shows up saying they were making love while the young boy drowned.
- Betsy Palmer loses what is scored like a UFC fight, 50 to 45; Alice sitting with her back to the house after leaving her attacker is called a strange choice and a trope, topped only by Jamie Lee Curtis dropping the knife in Halloween.
- The fight is a lot of shin and box kicking and a frying pan, ending in a good slow-motion decapitation with the machete and the music.
- The second ending in the canoe is one of the scariest things one participant ever saw; the newcomer whose reaction is requested calls it legitimately shocking, the only scary part for them, having expected a little tease with two minutes left.
- The ending is thought to be influenced by Carrie's hand coming out at the end and to have been Tom Savini's idea for one more button; Jason was not yet envisioned, his disfigured body is called great, and the jump scare was often imitated afterwards.
- The pick is Marcy and Jack dying, where you just know you're in Friday the 13th, called the biting of the apple, and another participant had the same scene; it is funny that it is Kevin Bacon, with the softball line quoted.
- The last participant asked for a most rewatchable scene agrees with the others.
Goldie Hawn / Sharon Stone / Cameron Diaz / Sandra Bullock / Scarlett Johansson / Sydney Sweeney Comparison
The panel proposes a new category here.
In the discussion (5)
- Bill proposes selected years of Hawn, Stone, Diaz, Bullock, Johansson and Sweeney, with Navarrette added in discussion — Bill Simmons
- The others ask what the category is meant to decide — Bill Simmons
- Mid-1970s Hawn is considered plausible as Annie — Bill Simmons
- The panel prefers Bullock to all suggested replacements — Bill Simmons
- The prompt remains a proposal rather than an established award — Bill Simmons
In the discussion (5)
- A participant suggests Jack’s de-escalating language as an alternative to aggressive policing
- Sean distinguishes pure action from science fiction, superheroes, secret societies and mythology
- Mission: Impossible, The Rock, Ambulance, Taken and Bad Boys are offered as counterexamples
- Bill provocatively argues the destruction costs could outweigh saving the bus; the others push back
- The hot-take framing and objections are retained rather than treating this as advice
Is This Movie Better With…?
Pete Postlethwaite as Bundini Brown and Ted Levine as the FBI agent
In the discussion (2)
- Pete Postlethwaite is proposed for Bundini.
- Ted Levine is proposed as the FBI agent in a Buffalo Bill mode.
What’s Aged the Best?
Jamie Foxx and Giancarlo Esposito together, James Toney’s acting, the Foreman heavy-bag image, sports-media cameos, “The Champ Is Here” sample, Smith’s fighting credibility, the Malcolm X structure, and the opening music staging
In the discussion (7)
- Foxx and Esposito sharing the screen is the first candidate. — Bill Simmons
- James Toney’s acting and the Foreman heavy-bag shot are separate choices. — Bill Simmons
- Jim Gray and Bill Plaschke cameos are enjoyed. — Bill Simmons
- The “Champ Is Here” sample is selected. — Chris Ryan
- Smith’s credible fighting and the film functioning partly as a Malcolm X movie are praised. — Chris Ryan
- The Sam Cooke performance recreation and call-and-response staging are praised. — Chris Ryan
- The actors playing fighters were allowed to hit Smith hard short of knocking him out.
Producer review
Likable, compact musical entertainment
In the discussion (5)
- The first response describes a great time and a very likable movie. — Craig Horlbeck
- An unsuccessful attempt to persuade Liz to join the viewing becomes an anecdote about how much she might have enjoyed it. — Bill Simmons
- The others joke that sponsorship or Bill appearing in the movie might have persuaded her. — Bill Simmons
- The compact running time and music are offered as reasons the movie is reliably enjoyable. — Bill Simmons
- Modest expectations make enjoyment easier; LA Confidential is contrasted as a movie liked less than its reputation led the viewer to expect. — Chris Ryan
The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award
Foreign-policy allegory; Yellowstone’s cost to cinema; Del Toro’s romantic reputation
In the discussion (4)
- A hottest take ranks the crossing alongside Heat’s robbery and The Dark Knight’s truck chase; the hosts recall the chaotic Grantland period. — Chris Ryan
- A hottest take reads the film as an allegory of American foreign policy exploiting crises and desires for justice.
- Another hottest take calls Yellowstone’s success a major loss for film screenwriting, with Mike White discussed as a different film-to-TV example. — Chris Ryan
- Bill’s hottest take is that Del Toro’s reputation as a ladies’ man is underrecognized; purported relationships are recited as hearsay rather than independently established facts.
Floyd Gondolli Enjoyment Award
Tunnel rumors; thick glasses on an armed operator; debrief; night vision
In the discussion (2)
- Bill introduces a listener-proposed Floyd Gondolli personal-enjoyment award and uses rumors of a tunnel. Other answers are an armed operator with thick glasses and a debrief, with Donovan’s reported visual inspiration discussed. — Bill Simmons
- Research reports a replica border crossing, practical thermal camera use, heated shoe soles, the word’s Latin origin, Blunt’s food poisoning and Brolin’s effective pause after forgetting dialogue. Night vision is an added personal-enjoyment answer.
The Butch’s Girlfriend Award for the Weakest Link in the Film
Babysitter plot; the shared pickup bar
In the discussion (4)
- Weak-link choices include the babysitter plot and the shared bar where Hannah never encounters Cal; the mixed-age pickup setting is doubted. — Bill Simmons
- Van and Bill describe discomfort being older than colleagues at bars, reinforcing objections to Jacob repeatedly using the same venue. — Bill Simmons
- Phoenix is proposed as a more plausible recasting city. The babysitter’s photos and crush on unkempt Cal are criticized, with the historical framing and online consequences discussed. — Bill Simmons
- The hosts discuss changes in dating, fear of public rejection and social-media exposure, while Mina gives a qualified nostalgic defense of Jacob’s approach. — Bill Simmons
Apex Mountain
Brosnan; Scorupco; BMW Z3; Perrier qualified
In the discussion (5)
- Brosnan receives an apex yes for reviving Bond, with Mamma Mia and The Thomas Crown Affair alternatives. A Hot Fuzz attribution is also made in the discussion, without independent verification.
- Scorupco and the BMW Z3 receive apex yes answers. — Bill Simmons
- GoldenEye’s song is called a possible worst Bond theme; better songs are debated. Janssen is assigned X-Men and Bond overall the Connery era versus Skyfall. — Sean Fennessey
- Baker’s apex is debated between Walking Tall and Mitchell/Mystery Science Theater; Perrier receives a tentative yes followed by sparkling-water comparisons.
- Cumming is assigned The Traitors as a later apex, leading to hypothetical casting of Bill or Rachel Lindsay on that show and Survivor. — Bill Simmons
The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award
Data-driven M; Bond/006 prequel; Campbell directing every Brosnan film; Farrell as Bond
In the discussion (3)
- Hottest takes include M anticipating data-driven management and a missed opportunity for a Bond/006 buddy prequel built on their chemistry. — Bill Simmons
- Another hottest take argues Brosnan would rank second among Bonds if Campbell had directed all his films, praising Campbell’s energy and criticizing the sequels.
- Bill’s hottest take proposes Farrell as a potential best post-Connery Bond. Hypothetical career trades and Neeson’s reported family objection follow. — Sean Fennessey
Flex picks
Did This Movie Need a Random Sports Scene?
Nick's Saturday-morning basketball game with an exploding ball
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (2)
- Nick's Saturday-morning basketball game with legal colleagues, where the ball explodes on a layup after Nick passes it. — Bill Simmons
- Tennis and softball are considered, but basketball is best; Nick insisting on his hoops game amid the bombings fits the character. — Bill Simmons
Jesse Eisenberg “That’s good. You should be proud of that right there. Don’t worry if you don’t make it any further” Award for Best Line Reading
A bomb that does not explode is a cheap gold watch
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (2)
- A second flex picker chooses Hopper’s gold-watch line — Sean Fennessey
- The picker links it to Chris’s earlier quote choice but their own identity is not explicit in this text — Sean Fennessey
Mila Kunis Forgetting Sarah Marshall Award: Is This the Hottest This Person Has Ever Been in a Movie?
Rob Lowe: later West Wing or Parks and Recreation era; Demi Moore: Indecent Proposal leads a divided field.
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (4)
- For Rob Lowe, this movie is rejected because of the 1980s hair; older appearances in The West Wing or Parks and Recreation are preferred. — Bill Simmons
- For Demi Moore, G.I. Jane, The Substance, and Indecent Proposal are proposed. — Mallory Rubin
- Indecent Proposal receives the strongest support. — Bill Simmons
- Disclosure is added as another Demi Moore candidate. — Bill Simmons
The Bam Out of Bayo 83 Point
The restaurant scene’s convincing romantic chemistry is the83-point surprise.
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (2)
- The flex selection praises the dinner scene’s real romantic chemistry and imagines Reitman being delighted by unexpectedly strong acting. — Kyle Brandt
- The selection receives agreement and a proud reaction. — Kyle Brandt
The Amanda Dobbins Award for Best Piece of Real Estate
Lynn’s Hancock Park house
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (3)
- Lynn’s Hancock Park house is favored; a personal open-house visit and later reported $7.5 million sale are discussed.
- A flex selector chooses Patchett’s house, identified as the Lovell house by Neutra; another participant wanted a larger interior. — Bill Simmons
- Bob’s Market in Echo Park is additionally mentioned as a recognizable Fast and Furious location.
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (1)
- Gosling is explicitly selected for the brought-my-own-pack award. — Bill Simmons
The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie
The clean-air-protest question is the flex quote choice.
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (1)
- The clean air protest question about which one drew the cock and balls is chosen as best quote, with jokes about saying it in the Ringer bullpen. — Chris Ryan
The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie
“I’m getting too old for this”
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (1)
- An explicit flex selects the line “I’m getting too old for this,” noting that it predates Lethal Weapon. — Bill Simmons
Most Memorable Death by a Security Guard or Other Bystander
The state trooper
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (2)
- The state trooper is the bystander-award choice, with the parking attendant and two witnesses also considered. No needle drop is offered. — Chris Ryan
- Stormare is reaffirmed for smoking. The trooper is credited for noticing the tags and bribe.
I Used to Fuck Guys Like You in Prison Award for Craziest Quote
“Time to meet God”; “Just lay back and let it happen, baby”
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (1)
- An additional craziest-quote flex selects Time to meet God, with Just lay back and let it happen, baby as another candidate. A pre-recording joke about the first line is recalled.
The Rick Dalton Award for the Greatest Fucking Acting I’ve Ever Seen
Robert Downey Jr.’s houseboat performance
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (3)
- Downey’s delivery of “somebody should write a book” is singled out.
- His physical acting on the houseboat is praised.
- The scene’s exposed, disheveled presentation strengthens the performance.
The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie
“Just after my dad died, this friend of my mom’s, I think she wanted to cheer me up. And she did.”
Flex pick · Bill Simmons
In the discussion (2)
- A flex quote nomination singles out the exchange about the mother’s friend cheering Rick up after his father died, followed immediately by a change of subject. — Bill Simmons
- The best-quote flex is recalled as the exchange about sex with the mother’s friend. — Bill Simmons