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Hard to Kill

97 minutes

Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Steven Seagal Mason Storm
Kelly LeBrock Andy Stewart
William Sadler Vernon Trent
Frederick Coffin Kevin O’Malley
Bonnie Burroughs Felicia Storm
Andrew Bloch Dan Hulland
Branscombe Richmond Max Quentero
Charles Boswell Jack Axel
Dean Norris Goodhart
Zachary Rosencrantz Sonny Storm
Lou Beatty Jr. Carl Becker
Stanley Brock Counterman

Hard to Kill | The Rewatchables

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Roger Ebert's review

Rating not yet verified
In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 00:21:56Read transcript
  • The hosts say Ebert did not review Hard to Kill; a recalled two-and-a-half-star score refers to Above the Law, not this film.

The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie

“I’m going to take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank.”

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:22:12Read transcript
  • The blood-bank threat became a durable personal catchphrase; its long pause, monotone delivery and dramatic musical punctuation are celebrated.
  • The blood-bank line is reaffirmed; a personal theory imagines Seagal inventing its final phrase as an ad-lib, without claiming documented proof.

Most Rewatchable Scene

Recovery montage; coma awakening and hospital escape, tentative

In the discussion (13)
Approx. transcript time · 00:23:51Read transcript
  • The secret dock meeting during the opening credits recalls an action trope already parodied by The Naked Gun.
  • Storm’s inept-looking camera handling somehow records incriminating evidence perfectly, prompting comparisons with incompetent volunteer photographers.
  • The liquor-store robbery is enjoyably ridiculous: Oscar banter precedes execution and mass retaliation, followed by questions about leaving the crime scene.
  • Visible landing pads, Seagal’s smirk and champagne exchange, the clerk’s crude career joke, and police Oscar jokes amid corpses heighten the liquor-store scene’s comedy.
  • Emerging from the coma and escaping the hospital are a leading choice; the greasy assassin impersonates a doctor without identification, and Storm maneuvers a stretcher despite years of immobility.
  • The nurse’s sexual interest in an incapacitated patient is startling; sheet-lifting and suggestive kitten dialogue are condemned as grotesquely inappropriate while Seagal’s ego is mocked.
  • The rapid recovery montage combines shaving, movement practice, motivational clippings, jogging, rope-board punching and acupuncture.
  • The recovery montage is an explicit favorite revisited for amusement: bandana, thin tank top, weak-looking punches, running and requested Chinese herbs all contribute.
  • The modest exercises are contrasted with Rocky’s spectacular training; the mountain climax predictably receives an eagle sound effect.
  • The montage briefly pauses for the nurse to seek O’Malley before returning to more training.
  • The blood-bank threat finally follows recognition of Trent’s repeated catchphrase, leading into the house shootout.
  • Storm’s reunion with his son and O’Malley’s death are nominated, with visible squibs and wires undermining the shooting.
  • The pool-cue fight culminates in the crude revenge line for Storm’s wife, a favorite catchphrase reused socially.
In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:27:56Read transcript
  • The clerk is an early nominee for making a vivid impression before being abruptly killed.
  • The hospital hitman and Johnny Carson are alternatives, but the clerk’s few magnetic lines opposite underplaying Seagal receive the final preference.

What’s Aged the Best?

Storm’s wife; LeBrock’s 80s appeal; escaping child; chopsticks; dojo house; Sadler; Seagal running; Carson contrast; ego

In the discussion (9)
Approx. transcript time · 00:30:37Read transcript
  • The absurd sheet-lifting admiration is read as evidence of Seagal’s ego, despite the nurse’s deeply inappropriate treatment of a coma patient.
  • Storm’s wife is admired as attractive, while the unusually explicit love scene raises questions about Seagal’s conduct and his real marriage to LeBrock.
  • LeBrock’s lasting appeal from Weird Science and The Woman in Red is separated from her weak performance here; the passionless scene with her real husband contrasts strangely with his screen wife’s scene.
  • A small child instantly understanding a murder threat and escaping through a window is admired as an implausibly competent movie-child trope.
  • Serving chopsticks to a newly awakened coma patient and finding an Ojai house already outfitted as a martial-arts dojo are enjoyed as absurd conveniences.
  • William Sadler is welcomed through memories of Shawshank and Die Hard 2, with joking disappointment at the absence of naked tai chi.
  • Seagal’s dangling-arm running is a maximal source of unintentional comedy, compared with a toddler fleeing a towel; a running coach seems necessary, while dialogue praising his speed and online compilations compound the joke.
  • A near baseball-playing scene in Out for Justice creates regret over missing another potential display of awkward athleticism.
  • Johnny Carson playing during sinister events supplies a pleasing happy-versus-scary contrast.

What’s Aged the Worst?

LeBrock’s performance and nurse characterization; coma wig and beard; bank slogan; intimacy concerns; rapid physical and emotional recovery

In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 00:48:19Read transcript
  • LeBrock’s performance is considered underthought and disengaged.
  • The coma hair and beard are cheap and visibly peeling, although their absurdity is also entertaining.
  • Trent’s bank slogan is overused, with speculation that modern social media would ridicule it.
  • The love scene prompts concern about the lack of an intimacy coordinator, followed by a cited magazine account of sexual-misconduct allegations.
  • A magazine’s allegations from McCarthy, de Rossi, Chong, LaRue, Margulies and former assistants are discussed alongside Seagal’s Putin relationship and reported dishonesty; the hosts distinguish enjoying old screen work from their present view of him.
  • The nurse’s nickname for her comatose patient, ignoring danger, and seduction beside pictures of his murdered family make her characterization especially objectionable.
  • The rapid physical recovery and apparent emotional recovery from his wife’s murder are implausible, while Storm fails to establish whether his son survived.

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Kill Bill borrowed the premise; Seagal as action’s Billy Corgan; early Seagal crush

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:56:34Read transcript
  • The explicitly solicited take links betrayal, coma and revenge to Kill Bill, while the assassin’s bolo tie and Storm’s ponytail are compared with Vincent Vega; Kill Vern is proposed as a joke title. — Kyle Brandt
  • Seagal is compared with Billy Corgan: a major creative run whose reputation is eclipsed by a disliked persona, with the Under Siege pair likened to a double album.
  • A spouse’s admission of an early Seagal crush becomes an amused personal revelation, particularly his low voice and ponytail.

Casting What-Ifs

None found

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:00:17Read transcript
  • No researched casting alternatives are offered; LeBrock’s participation as a favor and negative later assessment are recalled.
In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:01:17Read transcript
  • Sadler and Norris are excluded as too recognizable by name, though Norris previously fit the category.
  • Richmond is the textbook familiar face with an unknown name, recalled from Forgetting Sarah Marshall and varied sinister supporting roles.

Recasting Couch

Tom Brady as Storm; John Ashton as O’Malley; Sharon Stone as nurse; Paul Gleason as Trent

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:04:27Read transcript
  • A modern remake needs unintentional comedy: Tatum and Wahlberg are conventional options, but an athlete version with Brady, his wife and son is the dream.
  • Ashton is proposed for 1990 O’Malley after Beverly Hills Cop II and Midnight Run, bringing credibility and humor.
  • Stone is favored for LeBrock’s role, with Sciorra, Moore, Thiessen, Locklear, Thomas and Graham considered amid age, fame and budget objections.
  • Gleason is the alternative Trent for his beloved antagonistic persona in The Breakfast Club and Die Hard.

Half-Assed Internet Research

Director dispute; studio cuts; alternate ending; Seagal anecdotes

In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 01:07:56Read transcript
  • Seagal reportedly disparaged director Bruce Malmuth and complained about editing and action scenes.
  • The studio reportedly cut toward 95 minutes for additional screenings: family amusement-park opening, nurse interrogation and death, longer son kidnapping, and O’Malley funeral were removed.
  • An alternate ending reportedly killed Trent with another bank line; both hosts prefer that to arrest.
  • Seagal reportedly broke Connery’s wrist while teaching martial arts, collected guitars and swords, and leveraged Under Siege II participation for On Deadly Ground directing.
  • An account of overlapping marriages is recalled as a complicated sequence involving an unfinished divorce, annulment and LeBrock’s pregnancy.
  • Reports of deliberately striking stunt performers, short working days and allegations from Forsythe and Leguizamo are recounted as claims about on-set behavior.
  • A claimed CIA-advisor background is treated uncertainly, and a reported broken nose inflicted by Henry Silva on Above the Law closes the research.

Apex Mountain

Unintentional-comedy Seagal; acupuncture; Ojai;1990 action movies, qualified

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:10:57Read transcript
  • This is affirmed for unintentional-comedy Seagal, while his overall career peak is placed at Under Siege and the leverage to direct his passion project.
  • LeBrock is rejected; acupuncture is affirmed, prompting personal treatment stories and surprise that real sessions lack smoking needles.
  • Cobra is preferred for empty-hospital murder attempts; The Fugitive’s one-armed Sykes is ultimately preferred for incompetent hitmen after the era as a whole is considered.
  • Ojai is affirmed, with admiration for the house and speculation about renting it for a bachelor party.
  • 1990 is a possible action-film peak within the 1988–1992 run, when many major stars had releases and a new action film seemed to arrive every weekend.

Hall of Fame Plaque

Under Siege; Out for Justice; coma-look Hard to Kill

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:16:35Read transcript
  • Under Siege is favored for mass recognition, Out for Justice for the devotee’s version, and Hard to Kill if the bust carries the coma wig and beard; Seagal is imagined choosing On Deadly Ground himself.

Best Race Horse Name from This Movie

Mason Storm; Blood Bank; Storm

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:17:35Read transcript
  • Mason Storm is favored, with Blood Bank also working as a horse name.
  • Storm alone is an additional horse-name option.

Picking Nits

Accents; back acupuncture; car exchange; coma recovery; absent medical equipment; inconsistent strength

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 01:17:52Read transcript
  • Chicago and Pittsburgh accents seem misplaced in Los Angeles; the camera handling has already been criticized.
  • Placing acupuncture needles in the middle of his own back seems impossible, unless chopsticks or help from the nurse explain it.
  • The nurse’s sustained sexual interest in a long-term coma patient again strikes the hosts as grotesque.
  • Exchanging a bullet-riddled Jeep directly for another car ignores obvious evidence of violence, theft risk and the lack of money.
  • A seven-year coma followed by swift physical recovery is implausible, as is the absence of expected medical equipment; the hosts are uncertain about specific bodily-care requirements.
  • Immediately propelling the hospital stretcher conflicts with subsequently bench-pressing only an empty bar.

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

Untouchable; adjacent Seagal films supply prequel and sequel equivalents

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:21:36Read transcript
  • Leaving the movie alone is preferred, while Above the Law and Marked for Death already function as informal prequel and sequel equivalents.

Just One Oscar

Creator of the Seagal-running compilation

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:22:51Read transcript
  • No actual film contribution receives the choice; the maker of the entertaining online running montage is jokingly preferred.

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Missing sequels; destroyed borrowed house; Trent’s teeth

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:23:05Read transcript
  • The absence of Harder to Kill, Hardest to Kill and Impossible to Kill sequels is questioned, with Friday’s sequel titles as a comparison.
  • The borrowed Ojai house suffers extraordinary destruction, corpses and escaped horses; its owner’s reaction and the nurse’s commute are imagined.
  • Ramming a rifle into Trent’s mouth should break many teeth; a fleeting shot may show a broken-tooth prosthetic, but the observation remains uncertain.

What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?

Trent’s painting; inscribed toilet lid

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:26:16Read transcript
  • Trent’s giant self-portrait is favored, prompting jokes about such paintings as warning signs.
  • The toilet lid bearing the death-anticipation message is the alternative, admired as a ridiculous display of quick, perfect lipstick penmanship.

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson

Learn to heal; hurting people is easy

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:28:31Read transcript
  • The healing lesson receives agreement over the death-anticipation maxim, with superior attitude and state of mind offered as another possibility.

More from the conversation

Kyle Brandt repeatedly requested Hard to Kill and preferred it to a Rocky III invitation; a joke about smoking acupuncture needles precedes enthusiasm for the rewatch.
Approx. transcript time · 00:01:33Read transcript
The film’s pleasure is distinguished from Seagal’s later reputation: his early screen presence, ponytail and street-cleaning fights were exciting, and the blood-bank line became a recurring college joke.
Approx. transcript time · 00:03:15Read transcript
The 1988–1992 action run is celebrated through Die Hard 1/2, Terminator 2, Total Recall, Lethal Weapon 2, Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Double Impact, Road House, Point Break, Tango & Cash, Lock Up, Action Jackson, Passenger 57 and five Seagal films culminating in Under Siege.
Approx. transcript time · 00:03:45Read transcript
A cheap supporting cast around one star, a knowingly predictable premise and the absurd seven-year coma make the film rewatchable; its apparent earnestness now reads as comedy, like Cobra.
Approx. transcript time · 00:04:59Read transcript
Seagal’s repeated limb breaks are compared with Van Damme’s signature splits: anticipated moves that audiences paid to see.
Approx. transcript time · 00:06:29Read transcript
Seagal is placed in the Bronson/Norris/Lee/Eastwood lone-action-star lineage and credited with a low-voiced, nearly underplayed charisma; Above the Law preceded his ponytail.
Approx. transcript time · 00:07:07Read transcript
The ponytail and less sculpted physique distinguished Seagal from muscular rivals; his later hairline and awkward body mechanics prompt jokes, while Swayze seems overqualified for the genre.
Approx. transcript time · 00:08:09Read transcript
Seagal’s martial-arts credentials are questioned through his association with Anderson Silva; an anecdote about asking Dana White produces admiration for the movies rather than a clear skills endorsement.
Approx. transcript time · 00:10:16Read transcript
Above the Law, Hard to Kill, Marked for Death and Out for Justice are hard to distinguish as three-word cop-movie titles, while the “Steven Seagal is…” formulation is admired.
Approx. transcript time · 00:11:05Read transcript
Marked for Death and Predator 2 exemplify a brief Jamaican-gang-villain trend; Out for Justice is a favorite of the early films, while Hard to Kill is considered funniest.
Approx. transcript time · 00:12:26Read transcript
Above the Law’s Andrew Davis direction gives it greater conventional filmmaking credibility, but Hard to Kill’s coma and Kelly LeBrock material make it irresistible.
Approx. transcript time · 00:13:27Read transcript
The story of agent Michael Ovitz promoting his martial-arts instructor into stardom is recalled through Warner executive Terry Semel and enthusiastic contemporary publicity, compared with a generational football prospect.
Approx. transcript time · 00:14:11Read transcript
A cheap early contract leads to Under Siege success and then the derided environmental passion project On Deadly Ground.
Approx. transcript time · 00:16:42Read transcript
A Hollywood legend has Seagal weeping over the most beautiful script he has read and revealing that he wrote it; the hosts believe the story but present it as lore.
Approx. transcript time · 00:17:42Read transcript
Seagal’s alleged conduct and disastrous Saturday Night Live hosting are discussed as reasons Hollywood was ready to abandon him after a failure; the Michael Bolton introduction and Farley sketch illustrate the episode’s awkwardness.
Approx. transcript time · 00:18:24Read transcript
Ovitz’s account of being fired by Seagal and the actor’s alleged wish for My Left Foot-level scripts prompt jokes about a bone-breaking My Right Foot sequel.
Approx. transcript time · 00:20:29Read transcript
The discussion reports an $11.5 million budget,$59 million gross and 22 nd-place 1990 box office, then names another Seagal film in the next position.
Approx. transcript time · 00:21:25Read transcript
The hosts want more simple action premises: a framed morning-show host with hours to clear his name, family revenge, a newcomer pulled into old habits, or one last job.
Approx. transcript time · 01:14:47Read transcript
The era’s concentration of action stars is considered unusual; Keanu’s success contrasts with doubts about Evans and disappointment with disposable Rock vehicles.
Approx. transcript time · 01:15:51Read transcript
The close calls Seagal a former film star associated with three-word titles, followed by a joking personal claim to have won by taking part. No clear formal movie-winner question or ballot survives in this transcript.
Approx. transcript time · 01:28:45Read transcript
The hosts praise their action-movie conversation and joke about NFL offseason content: Baker Mayfield/Stranger Things comparisons, repeated Daniel Jones questions and a Mac Jones fitness-cliché bingo card.
Approx. transcript time · 01:29:26Read transcript