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The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

The Andy and Red – Zihuatanejo Award for What Happens the Next Day?

Sally in a coma from trauma while her uncle goes looking for the family

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:28:43Read transcript
  • Canonically Sally is basically in a coma from trauma, which is the setup of Texas 2, where her uncle, played by Dennis Hopper, goes looking for the family.
  • A joke has Sally dead of a cocaine overdose by 1976 after doing cocaine with Jenny Gump in San Francisco.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Where did the truck driver go? What were Leatherface's next couple of days like? Did this movie end hitchhiking? What happened to Marilyn Burns? Whose death would you want? Were the kids marked for death?

In the discussion (8)
Approx. transcript time · 01:29:18Read transcript
  • Where did the truck driver go: he just runs off away from his truck, the next 15 minutes with him could be its own movie, and he probably runs to the gas station, the worst possible place.
  • Leatherface's next couple of days after losing his brother are imagined as tape study with Sean Payton: thicker windows, a second chainsaw, maybe going electric.
  • The impact on hitchhiking: according to Ed Neal, Texas State Troopers thanked him because there were no more hitchhikers, though statistically it lasted a couple more years.
  • Read verbatim from the internet: on August 5th, 2014, at 65, Marilyn Burns was found dead by her brother at her home in Houston with no cause of death specified; the question of what happened is handed to Concepcion and Tyler for a deep dive.
  • Whose death would you want: Kirk's, because he does not see it coming and is dead before the sawing; the wheelchair guy's chainsaw death would be tough.
  • The least wanted is Pam's: a slow death on the meat hook with a gaping hole in her back, watching somebody else get killed and knowing she is next.
  • Earlier, one participant's unanswerable question is whether this movie ended hitchhiking.
  • Were the kids cursed or marked for death by the burning photo and the blood on the van and pushed toward the house, or was it random; one sees some voodoo in the burned picture, another finds it scarier if random.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?

The original chainsaw; the hitchhiker's pouch; the We Slaughter Barbecue sign; the Polaroid photo

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:32:37Read transcript
  • Definitely not the mask or the clothes; the original chainsaw would be amazing at auction, and the hitchhiker's little pouch with the pictures, the We Slaughter Barbecue sign and the Polaroid photo are also wanted.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

Best Double Feature

Last House on the Left; Halloween; Deliverance

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:32:37Read transcript
  • Last House on the Left is equally disturbing, not a good night but an interesting snapshot in movie history; The Help is offered as a joke before Halloween, chosen to compare how much it drew from this film; Deliverance, a road trip gone wrong, is the third pick.
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
In the discussion (9)
Approx. transcript time · 00:07:24Read transcript
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:33:28Read transcript
  • The anecdote is presented under the Steven Seagal award name: the hosts say Ruffalo almost left the project during Thriller rehearsals because he hated the rehearsal process and choreography, and had to be talked into staying. — Bill Simmons
  • It is called funny because he came up through Broadway plays; he is joked to be a serious-plays guy, not a musicals guy, and his Thriller is called a mail-in that makes the scene more fun. — Bill Simmons
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

Roger Ebert's review

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 00:45:06Read transcript
  • Ebert was not impressed: two stars, saying Jennifer Garner is a charmer but the victim of a charmless treatment. — Juliet Litman
  • Ebert could not buy the magazine office, professionals not noticing a 13-year-old mind, Jenna's spectacularly bad redesign being accepted, and emotional and sexual puzzles; he said it should have been a musical. His points are called decent. — Bill Simmons
  • He liked Garner, which is credited for getting two stars out of him. — Bill Simmons
  • Wesley Morris, then at the Boston Globe, called it a contagious but dopey first star vehicle for TV's Jennifer Garner, tailor-made for women who lust for dream houses, dream jobs and dream hubbies; a host guesses that if asked now he would call it one of his favorites of the last 25 years. — Bill Simmons
  • Dopey can still be fun; Ebert's logic points are correct but part of the genre, and the office looks like the Working Girl set. — Bill Simmons
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

Most Rewatchable Scene

Waking up at 30 through arriving at work

In the discussion (15)
Approx. transcript time · 00:50:42Read transcript
  • The big party where the Six Chicks show up is a first pick; school cliques like an "A squad" at Bronx High School of Science and college "BPs" are recalled. — Bill Simmons
  • Jenna being mean to Beaver hurts, and seven minutes in heaven is joked to be banned in 50 states in 2026. — Juliet Litman
  • Tom Tom becoming Judy Greer is called one of the best teen-to-adult castings; Greer reportedly disagrees, and young Jenna reads as Hilary Swank to one participant, which is disputed. — Bill Simmons
  • Jenna waking up at 30 (cell phone, checking her body, the hockey player, "I'm Jenna Rink, big-time magazine editor") is great, a mission statement for Garner recalling Hanks in Big. — Bill Simmons
  • Visiting Matt requires suspension of disbelief since he doesn't react as if she were on drugs. — Bill Simmons
  • The dress-up montage uses Whitney Houston; Lips Like Sugar by Echo and the Bunnymen was reportedly planned but could not be licensed. — Bill Simmons
  • Jenna saving the party with Thriller is an iconic rom-com scene; the green modified Versace dress became a yearly Halloween costume, though her dancing starts stiff and Ruffalo drags his foot while the Gollum actor bangs it out. — Bill Simmons
  • Asked by name whether Michael Jackson's baggage complicates the scene now, the reply is no; the surprise is that everyone at a 2004 party knew the whole dance. — Juliet Litman
  • Wesley Morris wrote that watching the cast dance like ghouls made him cringe: "the amateurness isn't cute, it's scary." — Bill Simmons
  • It recalls bar mitzvahs and the Cha-Cha Slide; Arlene the secretary joining is a favorite moment. — Bill Simmons
  • The Liz Phair montage with Razzles and the Brooklyn Bridge, and Love Is a Battlefield with the nice Six Chicks, are included; one more scene of Jenna advising the 13-year-olds is wanted. — Bill Simmons
  • Jenna's class-of-2004 pitch is rewatchable as probably the worst publishing idea of all time, while Lucy's heroin-chic idea sounds pretty good. — Bill Simmons
  • Jenna and Lucy having it out, with Judy Greer lights out, is the last pick; the wedding scene is excluded and Vienna is saved for later. — Bill Simmons
  • The other pick is the first scene waking up in the apartment: the umbrella gag, the physical comedy, and the slip with the jacket as the defining look. — Bill Simmons
  • Both agree the first 25 minutes, from the closet until she gets to work, are excellent. — Bill Simmons
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

The most 2004 thing

Surprise at a cell phone ring; Courteney Cox magazine cover; Rudy Giuliani office photo; flip phone; Liz Phair's Why Can't I; Garner's MTV Movie Awards and Teen Choice nominations

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:03:45Read transcript
  • An ASR-unclear item about the phone ('so many m's on the phone ... he wants a decision now') and being surprised by a cell phone ring are offered; the slip dress is called a little 1997. — Bill Simmons
  • Past magazine covers feature Courteney Cox, very 2004, and Marisa Tomei. — Juliet Litman
  • Jenna's office wall has a photo with Rudy Giuliani, from when that was just the 9/11 mayor, not a joke. — Juliet Litman
  • The flip phone, with colored screens arriving around 2002-2003, and the twice-used Liz Phair song are picks. — Juliet Litman
  • Garner's performance earning MTV Movie Awards and Teen Choice Awards nominations, possible only in a three-year vortex, is offered as a winner, but the same speaker then defers: 'I think you're right with Liz Phair.' — Bill Simmons
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:05:10Read transcript
  • Rom-com bitches are loved: mean but never catastrophically so, watered-down versions of people everyone knows; Lucy is one. — Juliet Litman
  • Sigourney Weaver in Working Girl is an example; Judy Greer is unassailable and makes this a better movie. — Juliet Litman
  • Lucy is Jenna's Darth Vader, pulling her to the Six Chicks from the 13th birthday party. — Bill Simmons
  • A tangent asks whether Jenna Rink would have had a bat mitzvah and is Jewish, with Kathy Baker recalled from Picket Fences and Street Smart, and a Jewish-themed pilot with Adam Friedland still only in text messages. — Juliet Litman
  • Jennifer Garner's hairstyles, including chopsticks in the hair, track the character's evolution and add a feminine touch. — Juliet Litman
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

What’s Aged the Best?

J.Lo magazine covers; the Six Chicks; Kathy Baker as the mom; wardrobe color shifts; Billy Joel; Ruffalo's wardrobe; luxury references; New York exteriors; the pink slip dress; the 61 Fifth Avenue apartment

In the discussion (18)
Approx. transcript time · 01:09:48Read transcript
  • Obviously and unquestionably the J.Lo magazine covers in a Garner movie, right as J.Lo is about to split from Ben Affleck, whom Garner is about to date. — Bill Simmons
  • Near the end Jenna takes down the J.Lo Sparkle covers; the hosts say that five months later Garner and Affleck debuted at Fenway for Game 1 of the World Series, which the speaker says they attended. — Bill Simmons
  • The hosts say the J.Lo relationship didn't go over with the fan base because she was an unabashed Yankees fan from the Bronx; showing up at the 2004 World Series with Garner, who had a 100 percent approval rating, is a Nick Hornby moment. — Bill Simmons
  • The Six Chicks as a gimmick: a group of mean girls in a rom-com has a 100 percent success rate, and the name works. — Bill Simmons
  • The Six Chicks include Brie Larson and Ashley Benson, and Brie Larson seems bumped from the yearbook photo once Jenna ascends. — Bill Simmons
  • Asked about the mechanics, the answer is that row position reflects closeness to the center of power, so the one on the periphery got pushed out. — Juliet Litman
  • Mean Girls and the Plastics arrived a week later, which is said to have hurt this movie. — Juliet Litman
  • Kathy Baker as the mom is great casting that looks like mother and daughter, with a good line about not regretting her mistakes. — Bill Simmons
  • Ariana Grande's thank u, next video homages this movie, with the dream house. — Bill Simmons
  • Wardrobe shifts to warmer colors as Jenna softens and darker as Lucy turns ruthless; Garner has reportedly worked with the costume designer, Susie, about ten times since. — Bill Simmons
  • The green Thriller dress reportedly ended up in a costume warehouse and was spotted on a Sex and the City extra, looking different. — Bill Simmons
  • Billy Joel from the mid-2000s on has aged incredibly, and the 1987 mixtapes are well done. — Bill Simmons
  • Matt's girlfriend, an attractive anchorwoman moving to Chicago, introduces the term commuter couple and belittles his vitamin-bottle photos. — Bill Simmons
  • Ruffalo's wardrobe (Adidas, CBGB shirt, well-fitted pants) and his pendant light are still in style. — Bill Simmons
  • Luxury references like St. Barts and the San Ysidro Ranch remain aspirational. — Bill Simmons
  • New York locations such as 444 Madison and 61 Fifth avoid anything gimmicky; the movie shows a sunny, crime-free New York without acknowledging 9/11. — Juliet Litman
  • The pink slip dress is something people would wear now. — Juliet Litman
  • The apartment at 61 Fifth, 7C, in Greenwich Village would rent for about $55,000 a month now; an Alec Baldwin and Hilaria sighting nearby follows. — Juliet Litman
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