What is the first Sparkle issue Lucy oversees? — Bill Simmons
Who won Poise versus Sparkle in the 2000s? Neither: Us Weekly knocked both out. — Bill Simmons
An R-rated version with Cameron Diaz is interesting; Poor Things is called Ruffalo's R-rated version, and an R version would not have made $100 million. — Juliet Litman
Living with an undone alternate life; New York geography; unemployed Matt; unrealistic magazine business; Jenna not looking things up; Six Chicks dressed for 1985; anachronistic video camera; Matt too accepting; littering; unchanged basement; junk food without consequence; kept Sparkle letters; overnight bus ads; the dollhouse; the home wedding
The biggest nit is how she lives knowing she undid an alternate life. — Bill Simmons
New York details: 61 Fifth Avenue is at 11th Street but they show 12th, she asks what the Village is while living there, and travel is too quick. — Bill Simmons
Matt seems unemployed and always available; he needed hobbies like fantasy football or the Knicks and is probably a pothead, which suits Ruffalo not wanting to be there. — Bill Simmons
The magazine business is unrealistic: relaunches are normal, not a death sentence. — Juliet Litman
She would have had more questions and could have looked things up on a You've Got Mail-style computer. — Juliet Litman
The Six Chicks are dressed like 1985, not 1987, lacking big hair, per a participant in high school then. — Bill Simmons
Jenna's dad's small video camera didn't exist in 1987, when cameras were bulky. — Juliet Litman
Matt should have been far more alarmed by how crazy Jenna was. — Juliet Litman
Adult Jenna litters, throwing shrimp over her shoulder; one participant admits to littering as a kid, and an off-mic participant is said to hate littering. — Bill Simmons
The parents would have remodeled the basement in 17 years. — Bill Simmons
Jenna eats junk the whole movie with no jeans-don't-fit payoff. — Bill Simmons
Evil Jenna keeps the Sparkle letters in her desk drawer. — Bill Simmons
The class-of-2004 ad is on buses within 12 hours, though bus ads are booked far in advance. — Bill Simmons
A participant's wife's biggest nit: engaged Matt keeps a dollhouse of Jenna, with a bathtub picture, for 17 years; any partner would smash it. — Bill Simmons
The dollhouse is at his parents' house, which is still weird and suggests they want him back with her; she threw it at him, yet it is unbroken. — Bill Simmons
Weddings at a parent's house are a movie trope; home weddings in the Hamptons are very expensive, and someone who can afford San Ysidro could afford a hotel. — Bill Simmons
Jennifer Garner is a yes: on Alias, the movie nearly makes $100 million, and she starts dating Ben Affleck; the other agrees as an actress. — Bill Simmons
She is more famous and richer now, as the Capital One spokesperson who took Once Upon a Farm public, so money-making Garner may not have peaked here. — Bill Simmons
A participant interviewed her for a Felicity project; she did 20th-anniversary press with Judy Greer for Vogue and is called a beloved Hollywood lady. — Bill Simmons
Razzles: this is probably the most prominent Razzles appearance, unless the 80s. — Juliet Litman
For 2000s fake fashion-magazine plots, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is the bigger magazine rom-com and would be the apex; Eva Mendes in Hitch and Kate Hudson are the biggest such roles. — Juliet Litman
Madonna's Crazy for You: the answer is no, since it was already big from Vision Quest; Thriller is obviously mid-80s. — Juliet Litman
Sam Ball, who played Alex Carlson, has multiple IMDb names, a red flag; "I hope to never see him again." — Juliet Litman
Post-9/11 feel-good New York movies: this is in the running, but Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 (and 25th Hour) are up there. — Juliet Litman
Judy Greer: no; Descendants is a better performance, and she is a reliable second banana. — Bill Simmons
Rom-com characters cruelly breaking up a wedding: My Best Friend's Wedding, A Lot Like Love or this; it has to be Julia Roberts. — Juliet Litman
Vienna reached Apex Mountain here, completely rejuvenated and finally getting its acclaim after 27 years; agreed. — Juliet Litman
Paltrow, Swank and Zellweger were reportedly backups if Garner couldn't do it; neither participant thinks they work, though mid-90s Zellweger might. — Juliet Litman
Young Jenna looks like Hilary Swank; Paltrow and Ruffalo later made a flight attendant movie that was not good. — Juliet Litman
No email or internet; the hockey player and his striptease; cheap apartment decor; Jenna's lack of curiosity about 2004; the art-department husband; the plastic-surgery line
Jenna hitting on a 13-year-old boy is called really uncomfortable, while the other participant thought the punchline was great and fine as a joke. — Bill Simmons
It would be worse with genders swapped; she looks sexiest in that scene, and Lucy would have had her committed after it. — Juliet Litman
Seven minutes in heaven is called gone, with pushback that it may be consensual and better than drugs; Matt's seven-minutes joke was ahead of its time. — Bill Simmons
There is no email or internet in a 2004 movie. — Bill Simmons
The hockey stuff insults hockey players; the hosts say the 2004 Rangers went 27-40, and real hockey players are stoic, unlike Alex Carlson; the goofy striptease is the worst scene, which is agreed. — Bill Simmons
Jenna's apartment has cheap-looking kitchen cabinets and furniture. — Bill Simmons
The scene where the husband of Tracy from the art department comes in, with a line about the drawers last week, felt like it was from a different movie; it was meant to show she was an awful person but didn't work. — Bill Simmons
Ruffalo's character talks about the plastic-surgery movement as if it were over. — Bill Simmons
Back at 13 with eight days of being 30, she still ends up with Matt, though redoing 17 years should change everything; it doesn't track. — Juliet Litman
Unlike Big, where the kid seems to remember nothing, she does appear to remember, ripping up the paper when Tom Tom returns. — Juliet Litman
She presumably spends high school being kind and waiting for Matt, knowing he'll look like Mark Ruffalo in 17 years. — Bill Simmons
Matt Flamhaff is an awful, weird name that fits the dorky child character better than Ruffalo; a mom would say "Flam, what kind of name is that?" — Bill Simmons
J.Lo magazine covers; the Six Chicks; Kathy Baker as the mom; wardrobe color shifts; Billy Joel; Ruffalo's wardrobe; luxury references; New York exteriors; the pink slip dress; the 61 Fifth Avenue apartment
Obviously and unquestionably the J.Lo magazine covers in a Garner movie, right as J.Lo is about to split from Ben Affleck, whom Garner is about to date. — Bill Simmons
Near the end Jenna takes down the J.Lo Sparkle covers; the hosts say that five months later Garner and Affleck debuted at Fenway for Game 1 of the World Series, which the speaker says they attended. — Bill Simmons
The hosts say the J.Lo relationship didn't go over with the fan base because she was an unabashed Yankees fan from the Bronx; showing up at the 2004 World Series with Garner, who had a 100 percent approval rating, is a Nick Hornby moment. — Bill Simmons
The Six Chicks as a gimmick: a group of mean girls in a rom-com has a 100 percent success rate, and the name works. — Bill Simmons
Asked about the mechanics, the answer is that row position reflects closeness to the center of power, so the one on the periphery got pushed out. — Juliet Litman
Mean Girls and the Plastics arrived a week later, which is said to have hurt this movie. — Juliet Litman
Kathy Baker as the mom is great casting that looks like mother and daughter, with a good line about not regretting her mistakes. — Bill Simmons
Ariana Grande's thank u, next video homages this movie, with the dream house. — Bill Simmons
Wardrobe shifts to warmer colors as Jenna softens and darker as Lucy turns ruthless; Garner has reportedly worked with the costume designer, Susie, about ten times since. — Bill Simmons
The green Thriller dress reportedly ended up in a costume warehouse and was spotted on a Sex and the City extra, looking different. — Bill Simmons
Billy Joel from the mid-2000s on has aged incredibly, and the 1987 mixtapes are well done. — Bill Simmons
Matt's girlfriend, an attractive anchorwoman moving to Chicago, introduces the term commuter couple and belittles his vitamin-bottle photos. — Bill Simmons
Ruffalo's wardrobe (Adidas, CBGB shirt, well-fitted pants) and his pendant light are still in style. — Bill Simmons
Luxury references like St. Barts and the San Ysidro Ranch remain aspirational. — Bill Simmons
New York locations such as 444 Madison and 61 Fifth avoid anything gimmicky; the movie shows a sunny, crime-free New York without acknowledging 9/11. — Juliet Litman
The pink slip dress is something people would wear now. — Juliet Litman
The apartment at 61 Fifth, 7C, in Greenwich Village would rent for about $55,000 a month now; an Alec Baldwin and Hilaria sighting nearby follows. — Juliet Litman
The big party where the Six Chicks show up is a first pick; school cliques like an "A squad" at Bronx High School of Science and college "BPs" are recalled. — Bill Simmons
Jenna being mean to Beaver hurts, and seven minutes in heaven is joked to be banned in 50 states in 2026. — Juliet Litman
Tom Tom becoming Judy Greer is called one of the best teen-to-adult castings; Greer reportedly disagrees, and young Jenna reads as Hilary Swank to one participant, which is disputed. — Bill Simmons
Jenna waking up at 30 (cell phone, checking her body, the hockey player, "I'm Jenna Rink, big-time magazine editor") is great, a mission statement for Garner recalling Hanks in Big. — Bill Simmons
Visiting Matt requires suspension of disbelief since he doesn't react as if she were on drugs. — Bill Simmons
The dress-up montage uses Whitney Houston; Lips Like Sugar by Echo and the Bunnymen was reportedly planned but could not be licensed. — Bill Simmons
Jenna saving the party with Thriller is an iconic rom-com scene; the green modified Versace dress became a yearly Halloween costume, though her dancing starts stiff and Ruffalo drags his foot while the Gollum actor bangs it out. — Bill Simmons
Asked by name whether Michael Jackson's baggage complicates the scene now, the reply is no; the surprise is that everyone at a 2004 party knew the whole dance. — Juliet Litman
Wesley Morris wrote that watching the cast dance like ghouls made him cringe: "the amateurness isn't cute, it's scary." — Bill Simmons
It recalls bar mitzvahs and the Cha-Cha Slide; Arlene the secretary joining is a favorite moment. — Bill Simmons
The Liz Phair montage with Razzles and the Brooklyn Bridge, and Love Is a Battlefield with the nice Six Chicks, are included; one more scene of Jenna advising the 13-year-olds is wanted. — Bill Simmons
Jenna's class-of-2004 pitch is rewatchable as probably the worst publishing idea of all time, while Lucy's heroin-chic idea sounds pretty good. — Bill Simmons
Jenna and Lucy having it out, with Judy Greer lights out, is the last pick; the wedding scene is excluded and Vienna is saved for later. — Bill Simmons
The other pick is the first scene waking up in the apartment: the umbrella gag, the physical comedy, and the slip with the jacket as the defining look. — Bill Simmons
Both agree the first 25 minutes, from the closet until she gets to work, are excellent. — Bill Simmons
The anecdote is presented under the Steven Seagal award name: the hosts say Ruffalo almost left the project during Thriller rehearsals because he hated the rehearsal process and choreography, and had to be talked into staying. — Bill Simmons
It is called funny because he came up through Broadway plays; he is joked to be a serious-plays guy, not a musicals guy, and his Thriller is called a mail-in that makes the scene more fun. — Bill Simmons
