The hosts say Ringwald was meant to play Allison but wanted Claire, and Hughes initially resisted because it was close to her Sixteen Candles role; switching would have broken her persona. — Bill Simmons
As the hosts relay Ringwald's account, Hughes wrote Sixteen Candles around her headshot, and their mentor relationship changed after she began dating Anthony Michael Hall during this film. — Bill Simmons
Estevez was originally to be Bender but switched when Hughes couldn't find an Andrew; Tom Cruise was unavailable and is called perfect for it.
Nicolas Cage was considered for Bender and is judged too much.
John Cusack was originally cast as Bender and replaced by Nelson for not being threatening enough; it would be a totally different, more sensitive film.
Rick Moranis was originally cast as the janitor and left over creative differences.
The closing fist pump, said to be improvised by Nelson, matched to the song, is called one of the most memorable 80s freeze frames, with Rambo and Mr. Miyagi at the end compared. — Bill Simmons
The soundtrack, with the Simple Minds song and Wang Chung's 'Fire in the Twilight', ages well, though the latter seems unlike Bender's taste. — Bill Simmons
Brian's hat-covered erection, 'hot beef injection' and 'neo maxi zoom dweebie' are favorites. — Bill Simmons
Brian's girlfriend 'in the Niagara Falls area' became a running joke for 10 to 15 years. — Bill Simmons
Claire's sushi and the lunches in general are praised. — Bill Simmons
Vernon declaring he won't be made a fool of with toilet paper hanging from his pants, and Estevez's reaction during the 'what do they do to you' parents exchange, are praised. — Bill Simmons
The stoned Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall and Sheedy trio, Sheedy's character dumping her bag and 'you never know when you might have to jam' are favorites; 'jam' became a verb for the hosts. — Chris Ryan
The whole movie is rewatchable and is essentially one scene, so it is more about moments. — Bill Simmons
Nominated: Bender stealing the screw and racking up detentions with Vernon ('Eat my shorts', 'You're mine, Bender. Two months').
Nominated: Bender versus Andrew, with 'if you weren't in school right now, I'd waste you' and the 'two hits' line, quoted for years with high school friends; the stretch is called a fight-cliche machine with unintentional comedy. — Bill Simmons
The 'I don't want to get into this with you, man' line is a favorite, recalling kids avoiding fights by citing juvie.
The 'can you hear this' middle-finger bit led to years of jokes in class. — Bill Simmons
Bender's 'I'd kill you and your parents would sue me' line is quoted, and 'neo maxi zoom dweebie' is set aside for later.
Nominated: Bender's impressions of Brian's home life and of his own father, with Nelson thought to be going for an Oscar. — Bill Simmons
Nelson's many jackets (flannel, jean jacket, trench coat) are noted, and the time of year is debated as after Christmas or early November.
Nominated: Bender versus Vernon, leading to the closet threat, which is called intense and seems to break Bender.
The closet moment is a reminder these are teenagers; an adult getting serious and violent with you is jarring, like a friend's father yelling. — Wesley Morris
The meanest line is Vernon telling the others to visit John Bender in five years.
Cutaways and stolen glances build cross-group relationships, such as Andy laughing at the crustless-sandwich jab and then noticing Brian is hurt. — Chris Ryan
An objection that Bender does all the talking for 40 minutes as a one-note character is redirected to the aged-worst category. — Wesley Morris
Nominated: everyone getting high, with Anthony Michael Hall called genuinely funny, as in Sixteen Candles and Vacation. — Bill Simmons
The pick is the stretch from the Larry Lester speech through Brian's confession, the lipstick trick, Bender railing at Claire, Brian asking if they'll still be friends, everyone turning on Claire, Brian on pressure and Sheedy's character admitting she had nothing better to do, called one of the best 15-minute stretches of any 80s movie. — Bill Simmons
The characters switch sides repeatedly in the sequence; ad-libbing and many script drafts are mentioned.
Estevez's Lester speech and the humiliation are praised, and the sequence features one of the film's few moving camera shots.
Highlights include Brian not liking what he sees, the heart-dies line, Bender's harsh words to Claire and 'you don't think I understand pressure', after which another voice calls it definitely the best scene of the movie. — Bill Simmons
Nominees: Nestor Carbonell as Mayor Antonio Garcia, Joshua Harto as Coleman Reese, Anthony Michael Hall as TV interviewer Mike Engel and William Fichtner as the bank manager; added is Richie Costner (as transcribed) as the Chechen, whom only the three hosts came to know as the corrupt mayor in True Detective season two, giving a very good performance with a very bad Count Dracula accent.
One host gives the award to Anthony Michael Hall for embodying the action-movie trope of the TV crew always present when something important happens, the William Atherton role from Die Hard, with the accountant going on the local Charlie Rose to reveal the Batman after the commercial.
A second host also lands on Anthony Michael Hall, because swole late-career Hall never fails to stop them in their tracks, and asks whether he only works in Nolan movies now.
One more name: Chin Han as Lau, a Chinese corporate titan laundering money for Gotham's gangsters, called the definition of a heat check; every conversation he goes for it, toe to toe with Morgan Freeman, moving all the mob's money without telling them, and never finding it odd that Lucius Fox turns up to check him out right after.
Fox breaks the building's one no-phones rule, does a switcheroo and brings down a multi-billion-dollar corporation with a cell phone, which leads to Batman illegally extraditing Lau from China via skyhook; Lau then becomes a living MacGuffin who must be protected to testify against all of Gotham's criminals.
Why is Lau needed when the Chechen could surely be prosecuted; it is read as an early sell-the-movie-in-China move and as the cynical choice to hand the most convoluted part of the plot to an Eastern character because he is mysterious anyway.
The Hong Kong shoot is compared to the hosts' own deep-in-the-weeds blog obsessions: Bale insisting on standing on the skyscraper himself, Alan Horn cutting a $35 million check to send 400 people to shoot in IMAX when Gotham or CGI would have been fine.
Bruce's cover story compounds the absurdity: landing a plane in the ocean because he cannot use Hong Kong airport, a yacht with ballet dancers, Michael Caine surrounded by companions in the South China Sea, mystery pilots; it all goes back to Lau, and a Lau trilogy would probably get greenlit.
Most candidates relate to plotting and storytelling: the ferry choice the citizens face at the end and, more broadly, the Joker's plan, widely debated on Reddit, where beat-by-beat defenses unravel under any scrutiny of what he could not have known; Gordon faking his own death; and, quoting Wikipedia's shade, Batman finding the Joker with a sonar device that spies on the entire city.
Asked directly, the pick is the sonar device, Lucius Fox's cell phone. — Jason Concepcion
The device is the definition of a deus ex machina, a machine built just to find the Joker; the clip of Fox calling it unethical and dangerous, every cell phone in Gotham turned into a microphone, is played.
An honorable mention is Coleman Reese, a Wayne Enterprises employee assigned to kick the tires on Lau's company who finds the Batmobile plans in the archives and tries to blackmail Lucius Fox and Batman, then ends up on Anthony Michael Hall's television show; the hosts ask why any of that is in the movie and why a two-hour movie runs two and a half hours.
One host's number one is the ending: rewatching the night before, they turned it off with twenty minutes to go, and argue the best version would end right after the Joker breaks out again with his head out the car window like a dog, the best shot and most exhilarating moment, chaos can win, with a Joker-led sequel or Arkham to follow.
Reese is defended as a way to underline Harvey Dent's heroism after Dent steps up as the Batman to take the fall; still, it is absurd that a forensic accountant can trip across the super-weapon car's plans filed in the basement, like the Citadel in Thrones, while Wayne has Alfred burn his personal files.
A second host agrees on the cell phone, citing a James Bond element: Batman cuts a bullet-shattered piece of concrete out of a wall, runs tests and essentially prints the bullet in 3D to predict the funeral attack instead of knocking on doors, which is hilariously overdone and probably exists to use the lab set, though it ties in the detective side of the character.
The cell phone exposes a Nolan weakness, overtly saying something big, security versus freedom, by having a scanner listen to the entire city; back then the idea of anyone listening to cell phone calls seemed far-fetched.
