Alcatraz; San Francisco car chases; Simpson-Bruckheimer logo card; characters who don't exist; former That Guys; Claire Forlani what-if; Connery's Alcatraz cabin; the film's politics
Alcatraz: no movie using it has failed to be cool. — Bill Simmons
San Francisco car chases are one speaker's pick, over the others' disagreement. — Bill Simmons
The "losers always whine about their best; winners go home and fuck the prom queen" line is raised: it seemed the coolest thing at 13 but now reads as bizarre and very 90s. — Bill Simmons
The Simpson-Bruckheimer logo card, and RIP to Don Simpson, whose last film this was; a 1996 EW piece quoted Connery that Simpson did not look right on set, and his legendary appetite for cocaine is noted.
Action-movie characters who "don't exist" because their records were wiped clean are a winner every time. — Bill Simmons
Claire Forlani's what-if: after Mallrats it seemed she would happen until Meet Joe Black; the belief that it still could happen has aged best. — Bill Simmons
Too good for half-assed internet research: Connery made the producers build him a cabin on Alcatraz rather than travel to the mainland, compared with Arnold's private-plane demands on T2.
The politics have aged well, unusually for Bay: a nuanced view of government and patriotism in the Hummel-Mason conversation, where Connery cites Oscar Wilde; the bluff ending, where Hummel refuses to kill a million people, keeps the film resting on whether he would do it. — Mina Kimes
The Joey Pants Award is only for someone you recognize but can't name, unlike the Dion Waters Award; McGinley is ruled too famous because of Platoon, so Franklin Cover is the guy. — Brian Koppelman
Nominees: 'I am an FBI agent', 'via condios' (as transcribed), McGinley's 'You're a real blue flame special, aren't you, son? Young, dumb and full of calm' (as transcribed), 'six seconds we're gonna be meat waffles', and Keanu's 'you crossed the line' speech about people who trusted Bodhi dying.
Bodhi's 'fear causes hesitation and hesitation causes your worst dreams to come true' is nominated as a good yearbook quote that nobody at that age would recognize, and 'guess we must just have an asshole shortage here' is also called great.
Asked for the best quote, one answer is McGinley's 'Young, Dumb, and Full Come' (as transcribed), called hilarious.
Another picks one not mentioned: Keanu's very last line, walking away after being told they will catch Bodhi when he comes back, 'he's not coming back', one of the best last lines.
Another goes with the front runner, 'Bodhi, this is your fucking wake up call, man. I am an FBI agent', a signature line that became a calling card.
Another takes 'young, dumb, and full of cum' because it comes so early and sets the tone for what this movie is, with McGinley really going for it; the clip is played, including the asshole-shortage line, about two minutes into the movie. Whether this and the earlier vote for the same line come from different hosts is not shown.
Introduced as a new category, the nominees are John C. McGinley as a stereotypical loud, angry police chief, James LaGrosse (as transcribed) as one of the surfers, Beecher from Oz as Rosie, Anthony Kiedis and Tom Sizemore; one host goes John, Dr. Cox every time over everybody.
Another goes with James Legros as Roach, for his heavy surfer-accent line about how small the cold water leaves him feeling, with a pinching gesture, and 'you didn't tell me it was gonna be like this, man'; someone bought Legros stock in 1991, and the role is likened to Valkeem Kilmer (as transcribed) in Heat, the supporting robber you root for when he gets shot.
Picks the unidentified actor from the first, violent surfing gang who surfs into Johnny Utah and decides it is time to pull a switchblade. — Mark Titus
The switchblade scene set the tone that surfing is serious, against Bodhi's nonviolent mantra of only showing the guns; a host asks who swims with a switchblade and jokes about expecting Shay to say he used to.
Later, during best quote, McGinley's going-for-it line delivery is called a Dion Waiters, shooting every time he gets the ball.
