The Joey Pants Award goes to the 'hey, it's that person' actor, and this movie has a lot of them; Stephen Lang is considered, since most people still could not recognize him, especially here with the beard, hat and mud-covered face looking like a homeless man rather than his Avatar look.
Dana Wheeler Nicholson (also transcribed 'Dana Willard-Nickerson') is the answer: the girl from Fletch, 'can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo', where everyone aged 30 to 50 has a massive crush on her as a platonic ideal; one theory for why she did not become a massive star is that Elizabeth Shumacher (as transcribed) took that same lane; her other credits recalled are Bye Bye Love with Paul Reiser, The X Files, Friday Night Lights as the mother of one of the main characters, and Nashville.
She is one host's Joey Pants winner because the film casually tells us at the end that she died of a drug overdose, a bad beat for a character who has to be on laudanum the whole time while everyone else balls out; the running joke of the same cough-syrup bottle, obviously not the same bottle, and the scene where Wyatt returns from Dana Delaney and tries to make her into Dana Delaney while she cries because she is so high.
Another host thought she was miscast and not subtle, drooling mucus and crying for her laudanum in her first shot, which draws a defense of 'Gail Stanwyck', as the hosts call her after her Fletch character, and leads into the overacting award.
All the mustaches were real; Val Kilmer practiced his quick draw and gave Doc a Southern aristocrat accent; 'I'll be damned' really were Doc Holliday's last words; the real Johnny Ringo was not killed by Doc Holliday; Cosmatos claimed Stephen Lang was drunk for most of the filming; the Latin exchange translated
All the mustaches in the movie were real; Val Kilmer practiced his quick-draw speed for a long time and gave the character a Southern aristocrat accent.
'I'll be damned' really were the final words of Doc Holliday, and historians debate to this day why he said it.
One theory offered: a gunman who always expected to die with his boots on looked at his feet, saw he had no boots on, and said it because he was dying without them, not just of tuberculosis; we will never know.
In real life Johnny Ringo did not die at the hands of Doc Holliday; it was a suicide, which prompts a joke that he started dating Lady Gaga and her career took off, finally cracking a smile from Craig.
Cosmatos did claim Stephen Lang was drunk for most of the filming; the Latin exchange is translated line by line, Doc's 'in wine there is truth', Ringo's 'do what you do', Doc's 'let Apelia the Jew believe, not I' (as transcribed), Ringo's 'youth is the teacher of fools' and Doc's 'rest in peace', judged more fun in Latin and a terrible conversation, to be quoted at that night's Ringer holiday party.
Three candidates: Stephen Lang; Michael Biehn, who may not be in it enough and so might qualify; and Billy Bob Thornton, who gets the most out of about four scenes; Lang, reportedly hammered for the entire movie, is so out of control that every time you see him you think what a piece of work and want him shot, and a second host makes Lang his vote too.
Lang is in only a handful of scenes so he qualifies; the film was good at identifying people who would become famous, Lang being basically the star of Avatar.
If Biehn is in the category it is Biehn: rewatching, he is a great villain, and the scene where he and Val Kilmer trade Latin for thirty seconds, ending with him winning 500 bucks on one hand, is played as a clip; but Biehn is ruled not to qualify because he is in too much of the movie, so it is Stephen Lang.
Earlier asides: Val Kilmer is called the heat-check guy of every movie he is in, and Billy Bob Thornton's card-table grumbling is called a good heat check.
