The father is criticized as helpless and lacking clear traits, with an oddly subdued response to possession. — Bill Simmons
The father’s strange hair raises the question of whether he is wearing a wig. — Sean Fennessey
The film should either emphasize his absence as a long-haul trucker or introduce a darker quality; John C. Reilly and John Hawkes are floated as alternatives. — Chris Ryan
Ironside's accent is rough; a real Massachusetts actor, or even someone making no accent attempt, would have been better, with Dickie Barrett suggested. — Bill Simmons
Clooney's accent comes and goes and then disappears, and he never coordinated with Mastrantonio, while Walberg and John Hawks are committed to theirs. — Bill Simmons
John C. Riley's son is a pet peeve: the dad talks about how much the kid means, and the kid just stares blankly; a counterpoint says an eight-year-old would be intimidated. — Bill Simmons
Diane Lane's accent is called legendary and usually the first mentioned in worst-Boston-accent conversations, alongside Kevin Koster in 13 Days and Jeff Bridges in Blown Away. — Bill Simmons
Diane Lane is loved, but she is called too beautiful for the role, and nobody in Massachusetts ever acted like that. — Bill Simmons
A joke notes that both of these characters are named Chris, prompting a riff on Chrises from Massachusetts. — Chris Ryan
The character lacks a real flaw beyond hating when her boyfriend goes fishing, which makes Bobby leaving hard to believe. — Chris Ryan
The attempt is admired because the Boston accent is half attitude, but nothing about it feels authentic. — Bill Simmons
Her lines read like Hallmark speeches, such as the curtains and pillows from J.C. Pennies, and she is compared to the wet-blanket girlfriend from a sports movie. — Bill Simmons
Gloucester; Reed Rothschild and Dirk Diggler reunion; Wahlberg's accent, facial hair and attitude; smoking on deck; the music; the Riley-Fickner feud; crow's nest interactions; Ironside's payout scene
Gloucester is picked as an underrated part of Massachusetts; the shooting locations are guessed as partly Dedham and largely Gloucester, and the crow's nest is thought to exist in real life. — Bill Simmons
Riley and Walberg reunite four years after Boogie Nights, framed as a Reed Rothschild and Dirk Diggler reunion. — Bill Simmons
A joke proposes a Jack Horner fake trailer recasting Perfect Storm footage as a Boogie Nights porn film. — Bill Simmons
Walberg's accent, facial hair and attitude are called a tour de force, and John Hawks is also mentioned. — Bill Simmons
The crew smoking cigarettes on deck is a favorite; the boat must have smelled terrible from dead fish and chili. — Bill Simmons
The music is praised for matching the tension on the boat. — Bill Simmons
The Riley-Fickner feud is liked because it is never explained, just two men sick of each other in close quarters, which adds tension; a deleted scene has Riley handing Fickner a phone with "a dead man on the other line."
Fickner is hard to see as anyone but his Armageddon character. — Bill Simmons
The early crow's nest interactions, including the old man at the bar telling war stories, are picked.
Ironside's payout scene shows how small the margins are and why the crew risks their lives to make rent. — Chris Ryan
The crow's nest scene where Clooney tells the crew they are going back out introduces Diane Lane and many characters. — Bill Simmons
The crow's nest bar is called the happiest bar ever on the North Shore; a real North Shore bar would be quiet, with Red Sox games on, smoking and drinking, a sign the director was not from there. — Bill Simmons
Clooney's speech to Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio's Linda is another pick; he delivers it with no Boston accent, and the dialect coach is called one of the big losers of the movie. — Bill Simmons
The walkthrough also picks Wahlberg and Clooney together as the boat sets sail, Fickner saving Riley after he goes overboard, Clooney driving through the storm and blowtorching the anchor off, and Wahlberg saving John Hawks. — Bill Simmons
The boat flipping through a wave and the sun coming out, with Clooney saying they made it, is praised as heartbreaking because it is a false reprieve. — Chris Ryan
The most rewatchable scene is when the wave actually crushes them. — Bill Simmons
It is called the best scene in the movie, with a question whether "rewatchable" fits something so dark. — Chris Ryan
A first viewing without knowing the real story made the sun going back behind the clouds devastating; in 2000 the ending could still be kept secret. — Bill Simmons
The last hour is called really strong, though much of the Coast Guard material is not liked. — Chris Ryan
The first picks split between Farrell (as transcribed) and Riley (as transcribed), the latter because Reilly got Walk Hard out of this movie; the case for Ferrell is that his influence on everybody in the movie is palpable, inviting them along on the journey.
A request to name Han and Scott together is refused as a procedural move; the counter is that Ferrell was going to be funny no matter what, so winning would require an extraordinary Ferrell performance, while Reilly matched him coming in from drama in a way Ferrell could not reverse opposite Daniel Day Lewis, so the degree of difficulty favors Reilly.
Since the two performances are dead even, McKay is raised and the oral history would argue it is him; the hosts settle on McKay as the non-controversial consensus pick, with a shout-out to John C. Reilly for stepping into comedies when he is not a comedian, or perhaps a comedian miscast his whole career, and a joke that he should not have been the catcher in For Love of the Game.
Catherine Han is a yes, a hundred percent: this put her on the map in the greatest way possible in a movie people rewatch all the time.
Will Ferrell is a no: after a clarification that Apex Mountain means the greatest moment of a career rather than just comedic performances, a host still thinks Anchorman is it, he was in the middle of a great run, and he was still at the tail end of SNL, having played Bush for a couple of years.
Adam McKay gets a yes at first, the peak of his powers, making an iconic comedy out of nothing, with no plot, that let him do whatever he wants; then The Big Short, $140 million and a Best Director nomination, is raised and the same host changes his mind and goes Big Short, while another thinks McKay has not hit his apex yet and it is in front of him, citing the jittery Big Short camera work in Succession even though the show is mostly creator Jesse Armstrong's handiwork.
Adam Scott gets a hundred percent from one host; another would instead name Eastbound and Down, where his agent Pat Anderson is mind-blowing in two and a half scenes, with the black-credit-card exchange with John Hawkes recited up to its crude punchline; Will Ferrell's Ashley Schaefer BMW plums speech from the same show gets a shout-out, and without Step BrothersScott would not have been unleashed as a comedy dick in that role.
For Reilly, Boogie Nights and Magnolia are offered, with Days of Thunder and Talladega Nights in the conversation; one host calls him his least favorite part of Magnolia and would cut the whole character, Walk Hard is mentioned, and Boogie Nights is given as the answer for his exercise dance behind the glass during the Mark Wahlberg song before Feel the Heat.
John C. Reilly cried real tears in the divorce scene; Boats and Hoes was written by Dr. Luke, who had been the SNL guitarist; Ferrell did his own singing and Reilly his own drumming at the Catalina Wine Mixer; Adam Scott lip-synced Sweet Child O' Mine in the van; the dinosaur monologue was ad-libbed by Jenkins and McKay in two takes; the prosthetic testicles reportedly cost up to $20,000
John C. Reilly really cried during the divorce scene, real tears in a real acting performance; asked as a child of divorce whether the scene landed, a host answers a hundred percent; Han starts crying too and calls him honey, prompting Adam Scott (as transcribed, 'Dan Scott') to ask why she is calling him honey.
Boats and Hoes was made by the controversial Dr. Luke, which the hosts suspect traces to his years as the Saturday Night Live guitarist when McKay and Ferrell were on the show; Ferrell did his own singing and Reilly all the drumming at the Catalina Wine Mixer, and Ferrell's operatic performance (transcribed as 'Porti Volare') is weirdly good, opera rather than a pop song, from a crazy talented man.
Adam Scott lip-synced Sweet Child O' Mine, the one guy in the van doing so, which a host never noticed until armed with the tidbit; the a cappella Guns N' Roses rendition is also called one of the most rewatchable scenes.
The dinosaur monologue was ad-libbed by Jenkins and McKay during a throw-anything session and shot in only two takes; McKay promised Jenkins he would not use it, and before the screening Jenkins asked whether he had used it and learned it was in. It is called an awesome scene that arguably belonged among the most rewatchable, a favorite three-character exchange in which Jenkins's character planned to be a doctor for a while and then go back to being a dinosaur, Brennan asking how that is even a skill, and Dale telling him a human could never be a dinosaur.
Stepped on early during the scene discussion: the half-assed internet research found claims that the prosthetic testicles cost $20,000, against the few thousand dollars in the oral history.
A host has never been happier to do the award until the show gets to Boogie Nights; the film is full of heat checks, a second unit whose box score would be crazy, lots of Rondo lines of nine assists, seven boards and four steals.
Nominees: Rob Riggle, in what felt like the first time seeing him, also the cop in The Hangover; Andrea Savage; the little kid bully; Derek's son singing; and Horatio Sands (as transcribed) as the eighties Billy Joel cover-band singer.
Catherine Han not only wins but is argued to be one of the great heat checks the show has ever discussed: five scenes and about seven minutes, one of the funniest movie performances ever; McKay said her first scene, where she gets turned on after John C. Reilly punched Derek and basically mounts him, was the greatest acting performance he has witnessed, and the key is that she commits, delivering an explicit come-on like a lunatic.
The hosts do not understand why she is not a bigger star, allowing that she had kids and that actresses often get fewer roles; she is never bad, phenomenal in Bad Moms, a huge hit, and in Afternoon Delight, joined the Jill Soloway universe with Transparent and I Love Dick, but never led a successful show or movie, which is called a failure not on her.
An aside asks whether the scene where Randy has a heart attack is in the final movie; it is not, and the cut scene is played, in which Randy's heart stops for a moment, he says he saw his grandmother and asks Derek whether he saw his Nana on the way in, with Derek checking that he is okay.
There are not ten seconds in the movie where Catherine Han is not funny; she gets it.
The movie started with John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell and then went and found actors, so the only real what-if is Derek, for which Jon Hamm and Thomas Lennon auditioned during Mad Men (as transcribed, 'Badman'); something in Adam Scott's audition won them over.
Hamm as Derek is called one of the better what-ifs the show has had, more intimidating and still funny, but Adam Scott has something evil and punchable about him, and it would be scary to punch Hamm.
Scott told the oral history he modeled Derek on moneyed, douchey people he found online and in the Rob Report (as transcribed), a guy who reads a magazine with a speedboat on the cover; the name-drops at the first dinner are all people who seem douchey, Mark Cuban as 'the cubes', Chad Michael Murray, Bobby Flay and Seal, plus the Dane Cook pay-per-view, and being name-dropped by Derek is a tough beat.
Four nominees are thrown out first: the first dinner scene with the whole family together, start to finish great, where John C. Reilly makes Will Ferrell cry and which ends with Ferrell going to shake Richard Jenkins's hand (as transcribed, 'Richard Jacobs') and slowly pulling it away; the drum scene, a masterpiece that keeps going until the fight in the yard and Mary Steenberg's (as transcribed) profane line; the bunk beds breaking, still funny the hundredth time; and the boat video.
Also floated: the Catalina mixer song and that whole moment; the grounding after the drum set, where the couch exchange between Jenkins and Steenburgen and Reilly and Ferrell is mind-blowing because the two are visibly throwing lines out; Adam Scott's Derek popping his head up into the treehouse, with 'I haven't had a carb since 2004' called one of the best lines in the movie and an obvious body double for the abs; and the porno-magazine time-machine bit leading up to it.
The film is thought of as micro moments rather than scenes, a movie of lines and dialogue; the job interview is added, and a 2 Chainz song called Trap Back stops in the middle to play the audio of the pan scene for a minute and a half, ending on 'get out of my office', taken as proof that movie dialogue can be dropped into a song and loved.
Will Ferrell is called weirdly influential on that period of rap, basically inventing Watch the Throne; Kanye loves him and famously quoted 'don't lose your dinosaur' in an interview with Zach Barron (as transcribed).
One pick is the drum scene, played as a clip from the accusation about the touched drum set through the threat to put his testicles on it, and taken as the winner all the way through the fight.
The fake testicles got significant space in Alan Siegel's oral history: they cost a few thousand dollars by one account and twenty thousand by the half-assed internet research, the designer warned McKay a really nice set would be expensive and McKay told him to do what he needed, and Ferrell asked to keep them and brings them out for dinner parties.
A second pick is the treehouse, with Derek's 'I don't have a problem, Dale. Actually, I have the opposite of a problem. I made over 550K last year' read out as proof that Adam Scott is an amazing dickhead; a third pick is the scene when they get grounded.
