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The Rewatchables ·

The Legend of Billie Jean

year 1985decade 80sdirector Matthew Robbinsgenre Actiongenre Drama
host Bill Simmonshost Chris Ryan
All 34 categories

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award · 56:09

Freeze mass media at this era

Chris Ryan: Mass media is imagined stopping at early cable, radio and scarce personal video cameras; the speaker accepts a record-store career in that world and recalls the music of 1984–85.

Chris Ryan: Everybody probably thinks their childhood moment of games or cable TV was perfect.

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson · 1:20:24

Fair is fair.

Chris Ryan: Fair is fair is the Coach Finstock answer after the award was forgotten.

The film

The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)

Directed by Matthew Robbins · Action

96 minutes

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Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Helen Slater Billie Jean Davy
Keith Gordon Lloyd Muldaur
Christian Slater Binx Davy
Richard Bradford Mr. Pyatt
Peter Coyote Lieutenant Larry Ringwald
Martha Gehman Ophelia Jacks
Yeardley Smith Putter Jacks
Barry Tubb Hubie Pyatt
Dean Stockwell Mr. Muldaur

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

20:26

Apex Mountain

Five personal teenage-crush favorites are discussed, with additions and eligibility exclusions.

Five personal teenage-crush favorites are discussed, with additions and eligibility exclusions.

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 00:20:26Read transcript
  • The retrospective list is framed around the speaker’s own high-school years and five favorite high-school movie characters. — Bill Simmons
  • The five named favorites are Kelly Preston in Secret Admirer and Mischief, Helen Slater in Billie Jean, Joyce [transcribed Heiser] in Just One of the Guys, an garbled Karate Kid actress, and Mia Sarah in Ferris Bueller. — Bill Simmons
  • Jennifer Gray in Ferris Bueller is added. — Bill Simmons
  • Rebecca D. Moray in Risky Business is excluded because her character is not in high school; Molly Ringwald was not a favorite, and Sean Young in Stripes is excluded as an adult. — Bill Simmons
  • Winona Rader in Lucas and Amanda Peterson in Can't Buy Me Love are additional examples. — Bill Simmons
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28:57

Most Rewatchable Scene

The Invincible exchange montage and the first videotaped haircut reveal receive distinct favorite selections.

The Invincible exchange montage and the first videotaped haircut reveal receive distinct favorite selections.

In the discussion (12)
Approx. transcript time · 00:28:57Read transcript
  • The opening credits with Boys in Town are nominated for immediately establishing the Texas setting. — Bill Simmons
  • The harassment, escape and accidental shooting at the souvenir store are discussed; the apparent shoulder wound prompts questions about injury realism. — Bill Simmons
  • The mall exchange with Rebel Yell and marbles is nominated; more time in the mall and more stores are desired. — Bill Simmons
  • The two mustached cops suggest an unmade buddy-cop film, and Hubie emerging from plants is enjoyed. — Bill Simmons
  • The Joan of Arc viewing, haircut reveal and rich house are discussed, including the dark rooms, security cameras and bedroom-to-pool slide. — Bill Simmons
  • Lloyd’s horror masks are compared to Rick Baker; his confident rapport and suit conflict with the impression of a solitary horror enthusiast. — Bill Simmons
  • The Fair Is Fair tape playing at the police station and the child copying the gesture are praised. — Bill Simmons
  • The reward-seeking couple shooting at Billie Jean is enjoyed for its absurdity, while another response reserves it for the aged-worst category. — Bill Simmons
  • The five-minute Invincible montage of Billie Jean being exchanged across Texas is selected as a favorite; the communication network without phones or internet is questioned. — Bill Simmons
  • The motorcycle ride and crowd appearance are compared jokingly to a live podcast and meet-and-greet. — Bill Simmons
  • The burning store, discarded merchandise and third use of Invincible close the candidate rundown. — Bill Simmons
  • The first tape after the haircut is another final scene preference; the accompanying you-look-famous line is singled out. — Chris Ryan
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39:02

The most 1985 thing

The beta camera, local radio and haircut stand out among the 1985 details.

The beta camera, local radio and haircut stand out among the 1985 details.

In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 00:39:02Read transcript
  • The music by Pat Benatar, Divinyls and Billy Idol, plus the Honda Elite scooter, are nominees. — Bill Simmons
  • Panama Jack sun products and gas priced at $1.05 are period details. — Bill Simmons
  • Watching a wall of televisions for major news is nominated; the beta movie camera is called the winner. — Bill Simmons
  • Hubie’s patterned jams shorts evoke wearing swim trunks all day. — Bill Simmons
  • Jimmy J. Judge on C-101 is a major omission from the initial list; all Corpus Christi characters seem to listen to the same station. — Chris Ryan
  • Craig’s addressed response picks the haircut. — Chris Ryan
  • Favorite movie-radio-DJ comparisons include Play Misty for Me, Reservoir Dogs, The Warriors, The Fan and The Fog. — Chris Ryan
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42:21

What’s Aged the Best?

The villain, mall exchanges, young cast, music and assorted 1980s conventions

The villain, mall exchanges, young cast, music and assorted 1980s conventions

In the discussion (10)
Approx. transcript time · 00:42:21Read transcript
  • Mr. Piat is praised as a disgusting, well-drawn villain whose souvenir business fits his rapid merchandising. — Bill Simmons
  • Mall exchanges gone wrong work well with hiding places, chases and escalators. — Bill Simmons
  • Young Christian Slater, the haircut phenomenon and the TV interviewer dismissing a woman’s perspective are highlighted. — Chris Ryan
  • Shoplifting with IOU notes and the unrelated Slaters looking like siblings are enjoyed. — Bill Simmons
  • Hiding in an empty suburban mansion is a favored device, compared with Beverly Hills Cop II. — Bill Simmons
  • Cruel teenage villains such as Hubie’s crew, Pretty in Pink bullies and Johnny Lawrence are recalled, with their late realizations. — Bill Simmons
  • Characters offended by a low ransom value are enjoyed, including Lloyd’s reaction to $10,000. — Bill Simmons
  • The money-lets-you-get-away-with-anything line and Lloyd’s hostage plan as a ploy to stay near Billie Jean are praised. — Bill Simmons
  • Mark [transcribed Saffin] is credited with score work and the golf-course song; Win in the End from Teen Wolf is recalled. — Bill Simmons
  • Stranger Things is suspected of drawing on this film, E.T., Goonies and The Karate Kid, including the haircut and music. — Bill Simmons
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47:46

The Great Shot Gordo Award for Most Cinematic Shot

The wide lake shot and the haircut reveal are admired.

The wide lake shot and the haircut reveal are admired.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:47:46Read transcript
  • The quiet wide shot of the pair lying on the wooden structure in the lake is admired. — Bill Simmons
  • The haircut reveal beginning at the pool is praised; Jeffrey Kimball is reported to have also shot Top Gun. — Bill Simmons
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50:25

The Butch’s Girlfriend Award for the Weakest Link in the Film

The abused-child rescue and bounty-seeking couple sequences are nominated.

The abused-child rescue and bounty-seeking couple sequences are nominated.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:50:25Read transcript
  • The Kenny rescue or couple shooting for the reward are offered, with a qualification that the latter is enjoyable despite taking the movie sideways. — Bill Simmons
  • Yeardley Smith is reported to have questioned Putter’s first-period subplot. — Bill Simmons
  • Saving Kenny while on the run strains the story, and the grandmother placement prompts a dark joke that she could be worse. — Bill Simmons
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51:23

What’s Aged the Worst?

Vermont fantasies, shooting near children, unstable cars, music repetition, adult behavior and the reshoot wig

Vermont fantasies, shooting near children, unstable cars, music repetition, adult behavior and the reshoot wig

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 00:51:23Read transcript
  • Binks’s Vermont fantasy rests on a poster and heat avoidance; Hot Dog…The Movie is offered as an imagined influence. — Bill Simmons
  • Shooting at Billie Jean amid children for a house down payment is condemned; station wagons fishtailing reflect worse car handling, though it improved chases. — Chris Ryan
  • Invincible is jokingly proposed for fewer or many more repetitions, and an acoustic version for a love scene is imagined. — Bill Simmons
  • The report that Pat Benatar disliked the film is questioned despite her performing the song; a settle-down response is proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • The way adults speak to Billie Jean is recalled as an earlier criticism. — Chris Ryan
  • A reported reshoot wig is criticized for obvious hair discontinuity, especially given the earlier concern over her haircut. — Bill Simmons
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53:24

Is There a Better Title for This Movie?

Keep The Legend of Billie Jean; Fair Is Fair might have sold better initially

Keep The Legend of Billie Jean; Fair Is Fair might have sold better initially

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:53:24Read transcript
  • Fair Is Fair is reported as the original title. — Chris Ryan
  • The alternative title might sell better initially, but the released title is thought to help its later cult identity. — Bill Simmons
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55:48

The Ruffalo / Hanna / Rubinek / Partridge Overacting Award

Putter’s mother and Kenny’s father

Putter’s mother and Kenny’s father

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:55:48Read transcript
  • Putter’s mother is suggested before Kenny’s father is offered. — Chris Ryan
  • Kenny’s father is jokingly imagined living in the trailer to prepare for his small role. — Chris Ryan
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56:09

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Freeze mass media at this era; Keith Gordon’s performances vary wildly.

Freeze mass media at this era; Keith Gordon’s performances vary wildly.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 00:56:09Read transcript
  • Mass media is imagined stopping at early cable, radio and scarce personal video cameras; the speaker accepts a record-store career in that world and recalls the music of 1984–85. — Chris Ryan
  • Everybody probably thinks their childhood moment of games or cable TV was perfect. — Chris Ryan
  • Keith Gordon is proposed as having extreme performance variation: praised here and in Dressed to Kill, criticized in Back to School, with a mixed reconsideration of Christine and a positive Jaws 2 mention. — Bill Simmons
  • Gordon is praised as a director, particularly A Midnight Clear; The Chocolate War credit is uncertain, and his acting persona is compared to a darker off-brand Matthew Broderick. — Chris Ryan
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58:50

The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award

Richard Bradford

Richard Bradford

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:58:50Read transcript
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59:19

The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance

Putter and Dean Stockwell retain separate preferences.

Putter and Dean Stockwell retain separate preferences.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:59:19Read transcript
  • The mustached undercover cops are ruled out and Putter is suggested. — Bill Simmons
  • Dean Stockwell is forcefully advocated for the early scene with Peter Coyote and the district-attorney role; Paris, Texas is mentioned. — Chris Ryan
  • A final reply still picks Putter for being funny. — Chris Ryan
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1:05:11

Apex Mountain

Honda Elite scooters and self-haircuts: yes

Honda Elite scooters and self-haircuts: yes

In the discussion (9)
Approx. transcript time · 01:05:11Read transcript
  • Helen Slater prompts debate among this film, Supergirl and The Secret of My Success, with box-office failures weighed against the Michael J. Fox opportunity. — Bill Simmons
  • City Slickers is counteroffered; expectations for Slater are compared to Elizabeth Shoe and Kelly Preston, with a hypothetical Working Girl role. — Bill Simmons
  • Christian Slater is rejected. — Bill Simmons
  • Honda Elite scooters are endorsed and Lou Reed’s 1985 advertisement is recalled. — Bill Simmons
  • Billie Jean’s self-haircut is called unmatched and immediately iconic, leading to COVID haircut memories. — Chris Ryan
  • Peter Coyote is weighed against Ken Burns narration and E.T.; E.T. is preferred. — Bill Simmons
  • Billie Jeans prompt comparison of the film, song and tennis player, with uncertainty about the filmmakers’ reaction to the shared name and a Billy the Kid interpretation. — Bill Simmons
  • Fair being fair and short-haired women are proposed; specific haircut memories remain uncertain. — Chris Ryan
  • Sturby Beach and Corpus Christi movies are endorsed; Yeardley Smith’s apex is The Simpsons, Barry Tubb’s Top Gun, and Keith Gordon’s Christine; Joan of Arc has other peaks. — Bill Simmons
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1:10:33

Cruise or Hanks?

Young Tom Cruise could play Binks or a sympathetic gang member.

Young Tom Cruise could play Binks or a sympathetic gang member.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:10:33Read transcript
  • An All the Right Moves-era Tom Cruise is proposed as Binks. — Bill Simmons
  • His Collateral hair is recalled, and a nice member of Hubie’s gang is another possible role. — Bill Simmons
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1:15:23

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

A Brad Ingelsby prestige version and Lloyd’s adult-film sequel are imagined.

A Brad Ingelsby prestige version and Lloyd’s adult-film sequel are imagined.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:15:23Read transcript
  • A Corpus Christi prestige version would make Piat a major drug dealer behind a shop front and put Binks into a fentanyl storyline; Billie Jean is proposed as its title. — Bill Simmons
  • A sequel would turn Lloyd into a Jack Horner-style VHS pornography producer. — Bill Simmons
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1:16:04

Is This Movie Better With…?

Peter Schrager is added to the impersonation roster; Mad Dog questions the rally sharpshooters.

Peter Schrager is added to the impersonation roster; Mad Dog questions the rally sharpshooters.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:16:04Read transcript
  • The existing imitation roster is recited, then Peter Schrager is explicitly added with affection. — Chris Ryan
  • The Schrager imitation treats Billie Jean’s commitment to fairness and response to radio coverage like an athlete’s comeback. — Chris Ryan
  • The Mad Dog Russo imitation protests sharpshooters targeting Billie Jean at the beach rally. — Bill Simmons
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1:17:05

Just One Oscar

Pat Benatar’s Invincible and Jeffrey Kimball’s cinematography are considered.

Pat Benatar’s Invincible and Jeffrey Kimball’s cinematography are considered.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:17:05Read transcript
  • Pat Benatar is suggested, but whether Invincible was written for the movie is explicitly uncertain. — Bill Simmons
  • Jeffrey Kimball’s cinematography is called the best part of the movie, although an Oscar is difficult to justify. — Bill Simmons
  • Say You, Say Me is recalled as the original-song winner over Power of Love; Invincible is thought a possible nominee rather than established as eligible. — Bill Simmons
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1:19:29

What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?

Lloyd’s audiovisual setup and the Honda Elite scooter

Lloyd’s audiovisual setup and the Honda Elite scooter

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:19:29Read transcript
  • Lloyd’s audiovisual setup and home theater are desired. — Bill Simmons
  • The Honda Elite scooter is selected, prompting memories of owning and crashing the same type. — Bill Simmons
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1:20:24

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson

Fair is fair.

Fair is fair.

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:20:24Read transcript
  • Fair is fair is the Coach Finstock answer after the award was forgotten. — Chris Ryan
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1:20:24

Who Won the Movie?

Helen Slater

Helen Slater

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:20:24Read transcript
Podcast choices
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