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The Rewatchables ·

Hitch

year 2005decade 00sdirector Andy Tennantgenre Comedygenre Romance
host Bill Simmonshost Van Lathanguest Mina Kimesproducer Craig Horlbeck
All 33 categories

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson · 2:00:28

True love does not need gimmicks

Life is measured by moments that take your breath away is proposed and mocked as corny.

The film

Hitch (2005)

Directed by Andy Tennant · Comedy

118 minutes

IMDb Find on JustWatch Find on Rotten Tomatoes
Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Will Smith Alex ‘Hitch’ Hitchens
Eva Mendes Sara Melas
Kevin James Albert Brennaman
Amber Valletta Allegra Cole
Julie Ann Emery Casey Sedgewick
Philip Bosco Mr. O'Brian
Adam LeFevre Speed Dating Guy
Robinne Lee Cressida Baylor
Jeffrey Donovan Vance Munson
Paula Patton Mandy
Ato Essandoh Tanis
Beau Sia Drugstore Clerk

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

40:34

Most Rewatchable Scene

Dance lessons and first date; Albert attacking Hitch; opening principles; bar; jet skis; wedding.

Dance lessons and first date; Albert attacking Hitch; opening principles; bar; jet skis; wedding.

In the discussion (26)
Approx. transcript time · 00:40:34Read transcript
  • The opening montage of Hitch’s principles is proposed.
  • The broom metaphor is accepted as fine. — Bill Simmons
  • The claim that communication is 30 percent tone and 60 percent body language is doubted. — Bill Simmons
  • The rule that a woman’s best friend must approve is endorsed and debated through personal examples.
  • The bar conversation and flashback are proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • Michael Rapaport’s single-scene role and unclear brother-in-law connection are separate observations about the bar sequence.
  • The Paula Patton bar appearance and her star potential receive extended praise.
  • Albert quitting in the boardroom while Hitch coaches from behind a door is proposed.
  • Hitch rescuing Eva Mendes’s character from Chip is proposed as a classic smooth entrance.
  • The walkie-talkie invitation is proposed. — Van Lathan
  • The Sunday timing is praised as a calculated way around Friday and Saturday refusal. — Van Lathan
  • Hitch is said to use the walkie-talkie partly because Sara’s coworkers will hear and react. — Van Lathan
  • The Hudson River jet-ski portion of the date is proposed. — Mina Kimes
  • The Ellis Island reveal is proposed for its surprising butcher joke and Hitch’s planning failure.
  • The early dance montage is proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • The allergy scene is proposed; later, the food-allergy material is said not to work. — Bill Simmons
  • Albert’s Knicks date and attempted kiss are proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • The apartment food fight is proposed. — Van Lathan
  • The food fight is separately criticized as aggression that would not play the same way now. — Van Lathan
  • Speed dating is proposed.
  • A reported post-pandemic speed-dating resurgence undercuts the idea that the activity is purely a 2005 relic.
  • Will Smith and Eva Mendes are compared to two hot aliens placed among the speed-dating losers. — Mina Kimes
  • Hitch pleading for Albert on Allegra’s boat is proposed.
  • The wedding and end-credit dancing are proposed.
  • Hitch pleading Albert’s case before Albert attacks him is selected as the funniest moment. — Van Lathan
  • The dance lesson intercut with Albert’s first date is the consensus selection. — Mina Kimes
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1:00:04

The Great Shot Gordo Award for Most Cinematic Shot

Jet skis on the Hudson River.

Jet skis on the Hudson River.

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:00:04Read transcript
  • The Hudson River jet-ski sequence is selected for its view of New York. — Bill Simmons
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1:00:31

The most 2005 thing

Stephon Marbury at a Knicks game; a thriving gossip tabloid; Michael Rapaport as the rom-com buddy.

Stephon Marbury at a Knicks game; a thriving gossip tabloid; Michael Rapaport as the rom-com buddy.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:00:31Read transcript
  • Stephon Marbury in a Knicks uniform is selected. — Bill Simmons
  • Michael Rapaport as the rom-com friend is proposed.
  • Men being coached to pursue women presented as far out of their league is proposed as a mid-2000s dynamic. — Mina Kimes
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1:03:25

What’s Aged the Best?

Jeffrey Donovan; Hitch’s respectful advice; teaching people to interact; camera phones.

Jeffrey Donovan; Hitch’s respectful advice; teaching people to interact; camera phones.

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 01:03:25Read transcript
  • Jeffrey Donovan appearing in a romantic comedy is praised.
  • The walkie-talkie trick is praised even while acknowledged as implausible now. — Bill Simmons
  • The lie-steal-cheat-drink aphorism is enjoyed as intentional corniness by one side and rejected by another.
  • Camera phones are praised for becoming vastly more capable. — Van Lathan
  • A movie about teaching isolated people to interact is judged more relevant now. — Van Lathan
  • Hitch’s advice is praised for respecting women and countering hostile dating ideology.
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1:12:33

Is There a Better Title for This Movie?

Hitch.

Hitch.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:12:33Read transcript
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1:15:14

The Butch’s Girlfriend Award for the Weakest Link in the Film

Will Smith and Eva Mendes’s chemistry; the extended kiss lesson.

Will Smith and Eva Mendes’s chemistry; the extended kiss lesson.

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 01:15:14Read transcript
  • Will Smith and Eva Mendes’s romantic chemistry is criticized as merely adequate. — Van Lathan
  • Their chemistry is compared unfavorably with Smith and Margot Robbie and with Mendes and Ryan Gosling. — Van Lathan
  • Will Smith and Kevin James are judged to have the movie’s strongest chemistry.
  • The extended kissing lesson is criticized as overlong.
  • The kissing lesson is defended as iconic and not bothersome.
  • Another view says there are no weak links because the core actors are solid.
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1:18:34

The most 2005 thing

A thriving gossip tabloid and its luxurious office.

A thriving gossip tabloid and its luxurious office.

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:18:34Read transcript
  • A thriving tabloid gossip operation is proposed as distinctly 2005. — Mina Kimes
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1:23:01

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Hitch is Will Smith’s fourth-best film; it may be his purest star performance; Eva Mendes should have remained in Fas...

Hitch is Will Smith’s fourth-best film; it may be his purest star performance; Eva Mendes should have remained in Fast & Furious.

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 01:23:01Read transcript
  • Hitch is ranked as Will Smith’s fourth-best movie behind Men in Black, Independence Day, and Bad Boys.
  • Focus is ranked above Hitch by another participant.
  • Hitch is proposed as Will Smith’s best or most representative pure movie-star performance.
  • Eva Mendes leaving the Fast & Furious series after 2 Fast 2 Furious is called its biggest mistake. — Bill Simmons
  • Replacing Michelle Rodriguez with Mendes from the first film is proposed and disputed. — Bill Simmons
  • Keeping both women in the franchise is offered as the preferred alternative. — Bill Simmons
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1:29:37

The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award

Jeffrey Donovan; Joe Lo Truglio.

Jeffrey Donovan; Joe Lo Truglio.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:29:37Read transcript
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1:29:37

The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance

Chip; Vance Munson; Paula Patton.

Chip; Vance Munson; Paula Patton.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:29:37Read transcript
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1:38:55

Apex Mountain

Eva Mendes, Kevin James, and Amber Valletta: yes

Eva Mendes, Kevin James, and Amber Valletta: yes

In the discussion (9)
Approx. transcript time · 01:38:55Read transcript
  • Will Smith is placed below his late-1990s apex. — Bill Simmons
  • Eva Mendes is placed at or near her apex.
  • Kevin James is placed at his breakthrough apex.
  • Benadryl is debated and rejected. — Van Lathan
  • Jet skis are rejected in favor of Eastbound & Down and Miami.
  • Amber Valletta is selected.
  • Hair waxing is rejected because The 40-Year-Old Virgin did it better the same year.
  • Ellis Island is rejected. — Bill Simmons
  • Post-9/11 New York comeback movies are proposed, with Spider-Man as competition.
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1:42:48

Cruise or Hanks?

Tom Cruise as Hitch; Tom Hanks as Albert.

Tom Cruise as Hitch; Tom Hanks as Albert.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:42:48Read transcript
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1:50:42

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

Hitch 2 with Will Smith returning from retirement.

Hitch 2 with Will Smith returning from retirement.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:50:42Read transcript
  • A sequel with Will Smith is endorsed.
  • Hitch being drawn out of retirement is proposed to address Smith’s age.
  • The current dating climate is argued to need Hitch’s approach.
  • Smith’s post-Oscars career and age are discussed as practical complications.
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1:52:20

Is This Movie Better With…?

Ted Levine receiving dating advice from Hitch.

Ted Levine receiving dating advice from Hitch.

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:52:20Read transcript
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1:59:46

What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?

Hitch’s dating diagram; walkie-talkies; scuba suits; remote-controlled apartment equipment.

Hitch’s dating diagram; walkie-talkies; scuba suits; remote-controlled apartment equipment.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:59:46Read transcript
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2:00:28

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson

True love does not need gimmicks; live deliberately; value breathtaking moments.

True love does not need gimmicks; live deliberately; value breathtaking moments.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 02:00:28Read transcript
  • Life is measured by moments that take your breath away is proposed and mocked as corny.
  • Wake up each day on purpose is proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • True love does not need gimmicks is selected.
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2:01:35

Who Won the Movie?

Will Smith

Will Smith

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 02:01:35Read transcript
  • Will Smith is repeatedly selected as the winner.
  • Kevin James is repeatedly identified as a very close second. — Bill Simmons
  • Smith’s established dominance is contrasted with Hitch serving as James’s breakout.
Podcast choices
Speaker not identified
Will Smith
Speaker not identified
Will Smith
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