In 2025 she might appear on the Hawk Tua podcast, join the Unwell network and release music; in 1985 she might return to Corpus Christi and become a schoolteacher. — Chris Ryan
Lloyd is imagined entering VHS pornography with equipment, capital and experience of crime. — Bill Simmons
Binks is imagined moving to Burlington, working at Ben & Jerry’s and getting beaten up after selling bad acid at a Dead show. — Chris Ryan
Lloyd’s father is imagined with a minor role in the David Koresh standoff; Hubie becomes lieutenant governor, and Billie Jean faces lengthy copyright litigation. — Chris Ryan
Hubie’s governorship and Binks becoming Doug McCray’s father in The Town are additional jokes. — Bill Simmons
Hubie using the Billie Jean episode to claim he learned his lessons and launch a Texas political career is endorsed. — Bill Simmons
The retrospective list is framed around the speaker’s own high-school years and five favorite high-school movie characters. — Bill Simmons
The five named favorites are Kelly Preston in Secret Admirer and Mischief, Helen Slater in Billie Jean, Joyce [transcribed Heiser] in Just One of the Guys, an garbled Karate Kid actress, and Mia Sarah in Ferris Bueller. — Bill Simmons
Jennifer Gray in Ferris Bueller is added. — Bill Simmons
Rebecca D. Moray in Risky Business is excluded because her character is not in high school; Molly Ringwald was not a favorite, and Sean Young in Stripes is excluded as an adult. — Bill Simmons
The opening credits with Boys in Town are nominated for immediately establishing the Texas setting. — Bill Simmons
The harassment, escape and accidental shooting at the souvenir store are discussed; the apparent shoulder wound prompts questions about injury realism. — Bill Simmons
The mall exchange with Rebel Yell and marbles is nominated; more time in the mall and more stores are desired. — Bill Simmons
The two mustached cops suggest an unmade buddy-cop film, and Hubie emerging from plants is enjoyed. — Bill Simmons
The Joan of Arc viewing, haircut reveal and rich house are discussed, including the dark rooms, security cameras and bedroom-to-pool slide. — Bill Simmons
Lloyd’s horror masks are compared to Rick Baker; his confident rapport and suit conflict with the impression of a solitary horror enthusiast. — Bill Simmons
The Fair Is Fair tape playing at the police station and the child copying the gesture are praised. — Bill Simmons
The reward-seeking couple shooting at Billie Jean is enjoyed for its absurdity, while another response reserves it for the aged-worst category. — Bill Simmons
The five-minute Invincible montage of Billie Jean being exchanged across Texas is selected as a favorite; the communication network without phones or internet is questioned. — Bill Simmons
The motorcycle ride and crowd appearance are compared jokingly to a live podcast and meet-and-greet. — Bill Simmons
The burning store, discarded merchandise and third use of Invincible close the candidate rundown. — Bill Simmons
The first tape after the haircut is another final scene preference; the accompanying you-look-famous line is singled out. — Chris Ryan
The Kenny rescue or couple shooting for the reward are offered, with a qualification that the latter is enjoyable despite taking the movie sideways. — Bill Simmons
Binks’s Vermont fantasy rests on a poster and heat avoidance; Hot Dog…The Movie is offered as an imagined influence. — Bill Simmons
Shooting at Billie Jean amid children for a house down payment is condemned; station wagons fishtailing reflect worse car handling, though it improved chases. — Chris Ryan
Invincible is jokingly proposed for fewer or many more repetitions, and an acoustic version for a love scene is imagined. — Bill Simmons
The report that Pat Benatar disliked the film is questioned despite her performing the song; a settle-down response is proposed. — Bill Simmons
The way adults speak to Billie Jean is recalled as an earlier criticism. — Chris Ryan
A reported reshoot wig is criticized for obvious hair discontinuity, especially given the earlier concern over her haircut. — Bill Simmons
