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No women on the boat

Bill Simmons: No women on the boat is selected.

The film

She's the One (1996)

Directed by Edward Burns · Comedy

96 minutes

Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Edward Burns Mickey Fitzpatrick
Mike McGlone Francis ‘Franny’ Fitzpatrick
Cameron Diaz Heather Davis
Jennifer Aniston Renee Fitzpatrick
John Mahoney Mr. Fitzpatrick
Leslie Mann Connie
Amanda Peet Molly
Robert Weil Mr. DeLuca
Beatrice Winde Older Woman
Tom Tammi Father John
Ron Farrell Scott Sherman

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

1:05:43

Most Rewatchable Scene

Heather entering Mickey’s cab; the brothers’ silent sizing-up; the gay-question montage; the final confrontation.

Heather entering Mickey’s cab; the brothers’ silent sizing-up; the gay-question montage; the final confrontation.

In the discussion (18)
Approx. transcript time · 01:05:43Read transcript
  • The first Fighting Fitzpatrick family scene is proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • The cab ride with Aniston and McGlone arguing about sex is proposed.
  • Mickey arriving with his new bride is proposed as a separate beat.
  • Mickey picking up Heather and retrieving his television is proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • Heather entering Mickey’s cab elevates the movie and is a leading choice.
  • Mike McGlone repeatedly calling disliked people animals is proposed as a running bit.
  • Francis and Renee arguing about a sexual down cycle is proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • Mickey, Renee, and Francis together are proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • The parents interrogating Francis are proposed, with Frank Vincent praised. — Bill Simmons
  • Mickey and Heather considering whether they made a mistake is proposed and treated as dangerous for him. — Bill Simmons
  • The montage asking whether Francis is gay is selected.
  • Mickey discovering Francis’s affair and the boxing-glove confrontation are proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • The final apartment argument is proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • Heather is interpreted as deliberately manipulating both men and giving Francis the watch to provoke them.
  • The competing interpretation says the film gives Heather unusual agency and happiness instead of punishing her. — Sean Fennessey
  • Heather getting what she wants is defended even though both brothers insult her.
  • Heather and Mickey silently sizing each other up is a final choice.
  • Heather telling Francis she is engaged and his “ruined my life” response are proposed. — Sean Fennessey
1:12:32

The Ruffalo / Hanna / Rubinek / Partridge Overacting Award

Mike McGlone shouting after Heather’s departure.

Mike McGlone shouting after Heather’s departure.

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:12:32Read transcript
  • Francis shouting after Heather leaves is selected as overacting.
1:13:01

The most 1996 thing

Jennifer Aniston’s Rachel-era hair; the valuable heavy television; a cab rather than Uber; 1990s character names.

Jennifer Aniston’s Rachel-era hair; the valuable heavy television; a cab rather than Uber; 1990s character names.

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 01:13:01Read transcript
  • Jennifer Aniston’s partial Rachel haircut is selected. — Wesley Morris
  • Mickey’s large, valuable television is proposed.
  • Driving a cab rather than using ride-share is proposed.
  • A femme fatale named Heather is proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • Connie, Francis, Mickey, Renee, and Franny are proposed as period-specific names. — Sean Fennessey
  • The repeated feminizing nicknames and concern over being best man are discussed as part of Francis’s characterization. — Wesley Morris
1:20:49

What’s Aged the Best?

Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston, Mike McGlone, Edward Burns, John Mahoney, and brotherly conflict.

Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston, Mike McGlone, Edward Burns, John Mahoney, and brotherly conflict.

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 01:20:49Read transcript
1:29:31

The Great Shot Gordo Award for Most Cinematic Shot

The brothers walking at dusk; Maxine leaning forward in Mickey’s cab.

The brothers walking at dusk; Maxine leaning forward in Mickey’s cab.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:29:31Read transcript
  • The brothers walking beside the water at dusk are selected. — Bill Simmons
  • Maxine leaning forward into the two-shot while Mickey drives is selected. — Sean Fennessey
1:33:36

Is There a Better Title for This Movie?

Irish Goodbye; Irish Curse; She’s the One retained.

Irish Goodbye; Irish Curse; She’s the One retained.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:33:36Read transcript
  • She’s the One is defended as a good existing title.
  • Irish Goodbye and Irish Curse are proposed, with Irish Goodbye strongly preferred.
  • Franny’s Down Cycle is proposed as another title. — Bill Simmons
1:34:41

The Butch’s Girlfriend Award for the Weakest Link in the Film

Francis refusing sex with Renee; Maxine’s underwritten role.

Francis refusing sex with Renee; Maxine’s underwritten role.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:34:41Read transcript
  • Francis refusing sex with Renee is selected as implausible.
  • The movie’s thin use of Maxine is criticized. — Wesley Morris
  • Jennifer Aniston’s movie career is debated as a product of poor choices and crowded competition, while her eventual hits are acknowledged. — Wesley Morris
1:37:43

What’s Aged the Worst?

Maxine’s jealousy and France subplot; shallow psychology; gender perspective.

Maxine’s jealousy and France subplot; shallow psychology; gender perspective.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:37:43Read transcript
  • Maxine’s jealousy and possible move to France are criticized as underdeveloped.
  • The film is criticized for lacking psychological depth and richer subtext. — Wesley Morris
  • The male perspective and potential misogyny are raised as objections.
  • Mickey’s cruel comments to Heather are defended as situational hurt and humiliation rather than his treatment of everyone.
1:41:12

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Amanda Peet is the movie’s hottest woman; Burns could have been Noah Baumbach with a stronger co-writer.

Amanda Peet is the movie’s hottest woman; Burns could have been Noah Baumbach with a stronger co-writer.

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:41:12Read transcript
  • Amanda Peet is selected as the hottest woman in the movie. — Bill Simmons
  • Her directness, intelligence, and willingness to commit to roles are praised.
  • If Edward Burns had hired a stronger co-writer, he could have occupied Noah Baumbach’s space. — Sean Fennessey
  • Burns’s comfortable worldview and reluctance to show uglier behavior are offered as the limitation.
  • The response is “I think you’re right” and agrees Burns had that opportunity. — Sean Fennessey
1:50:27

The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award

Mike McGlone; Robert Weil; Malachy McCourt.

Mike McGlone; Robert Weil; Malachy McCourt.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:50:27Read transcript
1:51:00

The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance

Amanda Peet; Frank Vincent.

Amanda Peet; Frank Vincent.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:51:00Read transcript
  • Amanda Peet receives repeated final choices.
  • Frank Vincent is proposed and praised for redirecting his threatening energy toward his daughter’s marriage.
1:53:25

Apex Mountain

Edward Burns, Maxine Bahns, and Mike McGlone: yes

Edward Burns, Maxine Bahns, and Mike McGlone: yes

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:53:25Read transcript
1:57:16

Cruise or Hanks?

Tom Hanks as Mickey; Tom Cruise as Francis.

Tom Hanks as Mickey; Tom Cruise as Francis.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:57:16Read transcript
  • Tom Hanks is selected for Mickey.
  • Tom Cruise is selected for Francis after being considered for Mickey.
2:03:41

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

An Apple TV series circa 2006.

An Apple TV series circa 2006.

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 02:03:41Read transcript
  • The story is proposed as an Apple TV series in a mid-2000s style. — Bill Simmons
2:03:52

Is This Movie Better With…?

A 13-year-old third Fitzpatrick brother modeled on Sean Fennessey.

A 13-year-old third Fitzpatrick brother modeled on Sean Fennessey.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 02:03:52Read transcript
2:04:49

Just One Oscar

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 02:04:49Read transcript
2:09:31

What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?

The television; fishing rods; boxing gloves; watch.

The television; fishing rods; boxing gloves; watch.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 02:09:31Read transcript
  • The television and fishing rods are proposed. — Bill Simmons
  • The boxing gloves and watch are proposed. — Bill Simmons
2:09:50

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson

No women on the boat; do not become sensitive mid-argument.

No women on the boat; do not become sensitive mid-argument.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 02:09:50Read transcript
2:10:17

Who Won the Movie?

Cameron Diaz (short term); Edward Burns (long term)

Cameron Diaz (short term); Edward Burns (long term)

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 02:10:17Read transcript
  • Cameron Diaz is previewed as the winner and then selected in the actual category.
  • Mike McGlone and Tom Petty are proposed as alternatives. — Bill Simmons
  • Edward Burns is selected as the long-term winner for establishing a sustained filmmaking career.
Podcast choices
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Cameron Diaz
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Edward Burns