Categories & segments

The Legend of Billie Jean poster
The Legend of Billie Jean

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Freeze mass media at this era; Keith Gordon’s performances vary wildly.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 00:56:09Read transcript
  • Mass media is imagined stopping at early cable, radio and scarce personal video cameras; the speaker accepts a record-store career in that world and recalls the music of 1984–85.
  • Everybody probably thinks their childhood moment of games or cable TV was perfect.
  • Keith Gordon is proposed as having extreme performance variation: praised here and in Dressed to Kill, criticized in Back to School, with a mixed reconsideration of Christine and a positive Jaws 2 mention.
  • Gordon is praised as a director, particularly A Midnight Clear; The Chocolate War credit is uncertain, and his acting persona is compared to a darker off-brand Matthew Broderick.
In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:58:50Read transcript
  • Yeardley Smith as Putter is recognized primarily as Lisa Simpson.
  • Barry Tubb is already known as Wolfman in Top Gun; Richard Bradford as Mr. Piat is recalled from the cop-bar scene in The Untouchables.
  • The responses settle on Bradford because the actor was recognizable without his name being known.
In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:59:19Read transcript
  • The mustached undercover cops are ruled out and Putter is suggested.
  • Dean Stockwell is forcefully advocated for the early scene with Peter Coyote and the district-attorney role; Paris, Texas is mentioned.
  • A final reply still picks Putter for being funny.
The Legend of Billie Jean poster
The Legend of Billie Jean

Recasting Couch

James Spader or John Cusack as Lloyd; alternate songs for action scenes.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 00:59:58Read transcript
  • Young James Spader is proposed for Lloyd while retaining Texas; Lloyd’s lack of accent is rationalized with private school.
  • Young John Cusack is proposed for Lloyd and warmly endorsed.
  • R.E.M.’s Pretty Persuasion would replace the golf-course chase song for more energy.
  • Til Tuesday’s Voices Carry is proposed for the escape sequence with Billie Jean lookalikes, emphasizing a female artist and empowerment.
The Legend of Billie Jean poster
The Legend of Billie Jean

Picking Nits

Billie Jean may not need a love interest; a love-triangle revision is suggested.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:01:11Read transcript
  • Craig’s addressed contribution questions immediate romance with the first man she meets as weakening empowerment and preventing an exploration of fame’s loneliness.
  • A revision gives Billie Jean prior history with Hubie and a triangle with Lloyd; his souvenir-store inheritance is mocked.
The Legend of Billie Jean poster
The Legend of Billie Jean

Half-Assed Internet Research

A real slap, concealed hair, vanished locations and uncertain Benatar/haircut stories are discussed.

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:02:20Read transcript
  • Putter’s mother reportedly slapped Yeardley Smith for real, leaving her face numb; Smith reportedly refused a haircut and used a concealed ponytail.
  • Smith’s comic timing is praised; City Slickers and an uncertain sitcom memory are discussed.
  • The miniature golf course is reported replaced by the Texas State Aquarium, and an abandoned-mall video is mentioned.
  • The claim that Benatar called this the worst movie ever made is repeated with explicit doubt and a settle-down response.
  • Fast-Rewind accepts visitor-submitted anecdotes, so stories about Helen Slater’s haircut opinions are treated as unverified.
The Legend of Billie Jean poster
The Legend of Billie Jean

Apex Mountain

Helen Slater is disputed; Christian Slater is rejected, while Honda Elite scooters and self-haircuts are endorsed.

In the discussion (9)
Approx. transcript time · 01:05:11Read transcript
  • Helen Slater prompts debate among this film, Supergirl and The Secret of My Success, with box-office failures weighed against the Michael J. Fox opportunity.
  • City Slickers is counteroffered; expectations for Slater are compared to Elizabeth Shoe and Kelly Preston, with a hypothetical Working Girl role.
  • Christian Slater is rejected.
  • Honda Elite scooters are endorsed and Lou Reed’s 1985 advertisement is recalled.
  • Billie Jean’s self-haircut is called unmatched and immediately iconic, leading to COVID haircut memories.
  • Peter Coyote is weighed against Ken Burns narration and E.T.; E.T. is preferred.
  • Billie Jeans prompt comparison of the film, song and tennis player, with uncertainty about the filmmakers’ reaction to the shared name and a Billy the Kid interpretation.
  • Fair being fair and short-haired women are proposed; specific haircut memories remain uncertain.
  • Sturby Beach and Corpus Christi movies are endorsed; Yeardley Smith’s apex is The Simpsons, Barry Tubb’s Top Gun, and Keith Gordon’s Christine; Joan of Arc has other peaks.
The Legend of Billie Jean poster
The Legend of Billie Jean

Picking Nits

Police response, escape logistics, money, the hostage plan and anonymity strain belief.

In the discussion (8)
Approx. transcript time · 01:11:28Read transcript
  • Too many detectives pursue a shoulder shooting, and Hubie repeatedly interferes without an obstruction charge.
  • The children should be caught quickly because they stay in Corpus Christi and revisit the same places.
  • An expensive unlocked scooter in a trailer park is questioned, though the purchase itself is supported.
  • Breaking into the district attorney’s house by chance, his absence and the private shopper stretch belief.
  • Remaining safely at Lloyd’s house or borrowing gas money seems easier than the hostage plan, with returning the sisters home offered as an explanation.
  • Rally sharpshooters apparently obeying the district attorney and the final Binks hostage plan are called absurd.
  • Billie Jean leaving without charges is questioned; Piat’s wrongdoing and falsely attributed simultaneous robberies are possible explanations.
  • Cutting her hair after recording the tape would better protect anonymity; driving a plated station wagon among repeated destinations strains the chase.
The Legend of Billie Jean poster
The Legend of Billie Jean

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

A Brad Ingelsby prestige version and Lloyd’s adult-film sequel are imagined.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:15:23Read transcript
  • A Corpus Christi prestige version would make Piat a major drug dealer behind a shop front and put Binks into a fentanyl storyline; Billie Jean is proposed as its title.
  • A sequel would turn Lloyd into a Jack Horner-style VHS pornography producer.
Displaying discussions 1129 - 1140 of 2932 in total