A Twitter poll asked whether to rename it the Waingro Award, and voters kept Joey Pants. — Bill Simmons
Waingro is called the ultimate That Guy in a Hall of Fame That Guy movie that also has the Last of the Mohicans actor, Ted Levine, Piven, Tom Noonan and the Armageddon actor. — Bill Simmons
The hosts say Kevin Gage spent time in prison, where the Waingro role bought him some juice, and that nobody knows him as anything but Waingro. — Bill Simmons
Neil's apartment without a couch; he could have gotten a futon. — Chris Ryan
House of Pain's 'Jump Around' is called one of the worst moments; a 1995 L.A. Tupac song such as 'Picture Me Rollin'' would have been better. — Bill Simmons
Pacino kissing on screen is gross, with Sea of Love mentioned. — Bill Simmons
Vincent and Justine's marriage is described in sophisticated terms; her 'this is not sharing, this is leftovers' felt realistic, her 'remains of dead people' speech is oratorical, and Vincent keeps a TV on the dinner table for SportsCenter. — Bill Simmons
Settled answer: 'What do we say aged the worst? Jump Around? Yeah, let's say Jump Around.' — Bill Simmons
One host tried to get creative with picks rather than the obvious ones; the other says this category requires playing the hits. — Bill Simmons
The first armored-car robbery: the truck hitting the armored car is one of the loudest, most terrifying sounds in a theater, and the shaped charge blowing out all the car windows at once is 'the coolest thing in the world'. — Bill Simmons
The robbery crew are clearly professionals until Waingro stares at the bleeding guard and kills him, forcing them to shoot everyone. — Bill Simmons
The Big Boys diner with Waingro ('I had to get it on, man. He was making a move'); a newly noticed detail is Michael moving to the counter while Trejo leaves to ready the plastic-lined trunk. — Chris Ryan
No customers react when Neil slams Waingro's head on the counter; De Niro is called vintage and purposeful in the scene. — Bill Simmons
Eady and Neil's first meeting ('Lady, why are you so interested in what I read or what I do?') is called their scene; it is believable because she is new and lonely in L.A. — Bill Simmons
In the meet-cute she lays out her Scotch-Irish Appalachian family tree and he answers only 'I'm from the Bay Area'. — Chris Ryan
Neil's crew debating the bank job ('The bank is worth the risk ... I need it, brother'); Sizemore heat-checks De Niro, like Reggie Miller against Michael Jordan, and lands 'for me, the action is the juice'. — Bill Simmons
Vincent realizing the crew has turned the surveillance around ('You know what they're looking at? ... Us ... We just got made'). — Bill Simmons
The diner scene between Neil and Vincent is introduced and called one of the most famous scenes of the 90s, or of the last 40 years, likened to LeBron and Kobe guarding each other in a Finals shown only in one-on-ones. — Bill Simmons
Square TVs showed one actor at a time, fueling a ten-year internet legend that the two were not in the scene together; widescreen disproved it. — Bill Simmons
Research cited says the scene was take 11 and was never rehearsed, at De Niro's request. — Bill Simmons
The exchange is compared to the two of them having a podcast; jokes about Vincent commandeering an LAPD helicopter just to get Neil to coffee. — Bill Simmons
De Niro listening and looking away before 'there's a flip side to that coin' is one of his favorite De Niro performances, though 'that's the discipline' is called his only bad acting moment. — Bill Simmons
Asked who wins the scene 25 years later, one host says Pacino and expects the other to say De Niro. — Chris Ryan
The hosts say Pacino later revealed his character was on cocaine throughout, a thread Mann cut from early scripts, which explains his darting eyes scanning the restaurant. — Chris Ryan
The other calls the scene a split decision, 115 to 114, possibly a draw. — Bill Simmons
The bank-robbery shootout is called probably the GOAT bank shootout that every later bank robbery homages; Den of Thieves is a flat-out rip-off and Inside Man the least like Heat. — Bill Simmons
Research cited says military units study how Kilmer and De Niro reload; Sizemore is rarely shown shooting; the hosts say Mann placed microphones to capture the gunfire live. — Bill Simmons
Shootout nits: the masked robber's 'we're not here for your money' reassurance, and Kilmer's slow 25-yard walk while Pacino drives in and gets out, which always drives one host nuts. — Bill Simmons
Neil killing Waingro and walking away from Eady is a tough breakup after she gave notice and packed to emigrate to New Zealand. — Chris Ryan
The hosts say production almost could not shoot at LAX because of a Unabomber threat. — Chris Ryan
Vincent versus Albert: Albert's salt-mine, pit-bull, hot-car-lot hideout and 'where's your empathy?'; Pacino is so off-menu the editing can't keep up, with audio from a different take. — Chris Ryan
Waingro's meeting with Van Zant: Van Zant has been living in his office, and 'I got some moves I can make here' is joked about as an NBA GM's trade pitch. — Chris Ryan
Vincent at BJs on Alvarado at 2 a.m., where everyone dances to silence because the music was dubbed in; Piven's Dr. Bob is also floated. — Chris Ryan
Stated answer: the most rewatchable scene is the diner scene, the second most is the bank shootout, and all other nominations are accepted. — Bill Simmons
Lindsay Lohan nearly cast as Jade but judged too young by Phillips; Jack Black turned down Alan; Paul Rudd turned down Phil; Jeremy Piven turned down Stu; Mike Tyson refused until he learned Phillips made Old School; Alan was written as a Jonah Hill-type younger brother and Thomas Hayden Church (as transcribed) was considered
Lindsay Lohan was almost cast as Jade; Phillips decided she was too young and is adamant about it, while Lohan's version is that she turned it down and it was the biggest regret of her career.
Lohan in the movie would have felt very 2009 and not a good version of her; Heather Graham is perfect, and being a little older makes the part work better.
One host is not as much of a believer in the theory that Lohan was a great Goldie Hawn-esque movie star whose talent was frittered away. — Sean Fennessey
The reaction is 'Oh, how dare you?' and 'This is your worst take you've ever had', with Parent Trap offered as proof: she plays two people, one with an English accent, like a 17-year-old Meryl Streep in training; Freaky Friday is weaker.
The Heather Graham conversation runs License to Drive, Twins, Drugstore Cowboy, Six Degrees of Separation and Swingers, by which point one host was in love, then Austin Powers; she may have been his number one 90s crush, Ed Burns dated her, and Boogie Nights, Even Cowgirls Got the Blues, Diggstown, Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle, Scream 2, Two Girls and a Guy and Bowfinger show she was always in good stuff and good at sending up her persona; another gets her confused with Terry Polo.
Her ABC show Emily's Reasons Why Not never worked; Grey's Anatomy is raised as a show she might have led, but she is a comic actress who thrives in comedy; she is good here and way better than Lohan would have been, her 35 making more sense than weird 25-year-old energy.
Jack Black turned down Alan, thank God, since he would have overpowered the other three; Paul Rudd turned down Phil and would have been doing Brian Fantana and Sex Panther while making fun of it, whereas you believe Cooper as a shit bag even greeting his wife at the wedding; Rudd has not played a guy like that outside Neil LeBute (as transcribed) plays.
Jeremy Piven turned down Stu, thank God, probably because he was at the height of Ari Gold; Stu is the third lead.
Mike Tyson refused to appear and changed his mind on learning Phillips directed Old School; the Galifianakis character was written as a younger brother-in-law of the Jonah Hill type until Phillips realized an older brother was funnier, and Thomas Hayden Church (as transcribed) was the other option, a different movie.
With a lot of nominees, one host gives it to the Mad Men actor who plays Jeremy Piven's henchman, name unknown, who later turned up on Mad Men as Bobby Barrett's husband, the mean comedian in season one, and tells the diner story in Mulholland Drive before the dumpster scene.
Another host has a different winner: a far-background player, Patrick Adams, who plays guitar during Dust in the Wind and became the star of Suits.
The henchman's name is supplied as Patrick Fishler (as transcribed), a very good character actor; not knowing a name while naming nine credits is how the Joey Pants Award is won.
A philosophical question first: does aged worst mean what has become offensive or what seems antiquated, like a 1984 action scene or seventies red-paint gunfights; the answer is simply what has aged poorly, and here it is Elisha Cuthbert's high-school character at the top of the list.
Kilborn's acting is brutal; Piven's toupee needed another trip to the shop; Artie Lang (as transcribed) and Matt Walsh, two of the funniest people, are misused and told to play it serious, probably a favor and a paycheck around the Howard Stern years after Dirty Work.
James Carville has aged worst two ways: why is he in it, and sixteen years later younger viewers do not know who he is; when the film turns into a Back to School competition, as Stripes does by going to war and Animal House started, the last fifteen minutes are entertaining but forced, which is why stunts like Carville are needed; Craig knows Carville mainly from Bill Hader on SNL.
Luke Wilson sleeping with a high-school girl who then greets him on his date with Ellen Pompeo is a tough beat; she might have been 18, which would have aged less badly, though the Terry O'Quinn scene has him say she is seven months from college, so she is 17 or 18 and either way not great.
Brian Cowan's (as transcribed) agent is added to what aged worst, out of frustration that his career was not bigger.
Luke Wilson disrobing when frisked at the airport, about a year and a half after 9-11, was the first time anyone had fun with TSA, set to Ryan Adams's To Be Young, called one of the best songs of all time; Ellen Pompeo, about to become one of the most bankable TV stars of forty years, is a baby here with an under-written part; Perry Reeves looks the same as in Entourage and Kicking and Screaming and should have had a bigger career.
Earmuffs will probably win the category; the Dan Band swearing through the wedding song is great, especially the cut to Vince Vaughn with his hand up and the freeze-frame reactions of Will Ferrell and Perry Reeves when the first 'fucking' drops.
The Dan Band are in The Hangover and other Todd Phillips films, were LA legends who played bigger bars and Jimmy's show, a host's wife went to five or six shows, and Dan the leader co-wrote a song in the Netflix film Dumplin'.
Snoop Dogg is caught at a great moment with Cocaine and Warren G as DJ and Don Magic Wand (as transcribed) at his side, reportedly doing the music to get into Starsky and Hutch; a four-minute performance in the film is odd, and Melissa McCarthy's Life of the Party lifts the structure with a Christina Aguilera performance.
Craig Kilborn is fun to see, maybe the first person to appear in both aged best and aged worst: a memorable shitheel character in two scenes and the credits, yet he reads lines the way he read The Daily Show and cannot act next to professionals, which is presumably why he has not kept acting; as stunt casting it worked.
The closing credits have aged the best for one host: Kilborn crashes while smoking, goes over a bridge and kills a fly-fishing Jeremy Piven, two and a half minutes of credits story; Porky's and Cannonball Run bloopers are recalled, and The Hangover's Polaroid credits are called the best ever.
The soundtrack is a murderers' row of weird music: Papered Up, Paid in Full, Dust in the Wind, Hungry Like the Wolf, Gonna Make You Sweat, The Sound of Silence, Total Clips of the Heart (as transcribed), Lady, Metallica, and Here I Go Again played about four times.
This and Tenenbaums are called the alpha and omega of Luke Wilson, a good everyman for a while; the fuller Luke Wilson conversation is saved for unanswerable questions.
The film launched Will Ferrell, who has made one host laugh more than anyone since 2000; earmuffs is settled on as what aged best because people still say it as ordinary conversation rather than a movie line, like Kleenex.
A late addition: You're My Boy Blue, along with earmuffs, is in the lexicon and deserved a shout-out, as does the running bit of repeatedly calling some random guy Spanish; the clip of Blue is played.
Four opening nominations: Frank the Tank at Mitchapalooza through the streaking and the women driving slowly beside him; the green-hat oral-sex class; the dart-gun birthday party, including the bread maker re-gifted a third time; and Blue dying during the KY wrestling match, which may run into Blue's funeral and Will Ferrell singing.
Another nomination is the first meeting in the kitchen at Luke Wilson's new place, with earmuffs and Frank walking around with a hockey stick destroying things, watched eight times that week; everybody knows the guy who picks up the hockey stick mid-conversation and makes you afraid something will break.
The first scene with Jeremy Piven's character is very funny and a weirdly good Piven performance, subverting his PCU character now that he is old enough to be the dean; it is pre-Entourage and before he found the right toupee.
The opening with Juliette Lewis and two people in the bathroom, with Todd Phillips at the door, is nominated as a great twist on the familiar scene of a man coming home to noises in the bedroom; it is a good Luke Wilson scene too, and probably her best grown-up performance for one host, who otherwise fears her Natural Born Killers mode.
Asked for the most rewatchable, the pick is the hockey stick scene. — Chris Ryan
Another host goes with Frank the Tank coming back to life, from the guys pressing Frank to have a drink through the 'nice little Saturday' Home Depot speech to 'we're going streaking', and plays the clip; whether the scene runs into his wife finding him and the Speaker City speech is debated.
Other candidates: Vince Vaughn mouthing along to his own commercial, Will Ferrell talking about the car's restrictor plate, the wedding with 'it takes a real man to give away an angel' and the under-the-breath 'this is such a mistake, you got to run' muttering in the church that kills Will Ferrell, and drunk Luke Wilson meeting Ellen Pompeo with 'Denver, the sunshine state'; the hard thing with comedies is whether something is a moment or a scene.
The third host goes earmuffs along with Chris, calling it the most iconic thing in the film aside from the streaking and the most repeated line in his life; the hosts realize earmuffs came from this film, wonder whether it was a Vince Vaughn ad lib or something heard around LA, admit owing him royalties for Ringer-office use, and play the clip.
