Who is the 2019 Craig Kilbourne (as transcribed), the stunt-cast non-actor who would play the two-scene boyfriend Mark: a YouTube guy like Logan Paul is too young, so a sports broadcaster is sought, with Joe Buck, Gus Johnson, Jim Nance (as transcribed), Mark Jackson, Jeff Van Gundy and Trevor Noah floated before Jalen Rose is settled on, though he would never do it.
Could they have improved the Luke Wilson spot: definitely not Harrison Ford; Owen Wilson as the star is offered, and one host thinks Luke was born on third base here and others would have been wanted more, while another thinks the role requires only being smart and a little spaced out.
A favorite thing about the film is that in some scenes a character looks brutally hungover because the actor is, such as Vince Vaughn paying for breakfast in the diner looking like his night just ended and Luke Wilson's circles under his eyes; the 'Godfather' greetings in front of a nonplussed Ellen Pompeo are a good Fight Club joke.
Luke Wilson could be improved upon but would not be changed by one host, who loves 'Denver, the sunshine state, gorgeous'; the Harrison Ford take is called one of the worst ever heard on a podcast, and the hosts promise not to raise it on every episode.
Earlier, the fuller Luke Wilson conversation was deferred to this category.
The biggest flaw: why Ellen Pompeo's character would ever touch Luke Wilson's character, who spills a drink on her dress at the wedding after twenty years apart, is confronted on their date by a high-schooler in an Oakwood High jacket apologizing about her dad, breaks up her relationship with Mark, and has a kid to be stepfather to; the counterpoint is that she dated the scumbag Mark for two years, so her taste in men is terrible and she was barely fleshed out.
Why Vince Vaughn's character would not be a cheater: they had to zip that up so he stays within normal behavior, otherwise he is Satan; the scene where the girl kisses him and he pulls back is one of the best and weirdly well acted.
Craig Kilburn (as transcribed) is a no: not this, not SportsCenter where one host thought he was God, but his first season of The Daily Show; he probably regards this as his apex because he had the CBS late-night show and this part, which is more than a cameo, and the hosts like him and have had him on their podcasts.
Will Ferrell is a no: his apex has to come from his movie career, Anchorman, since his SNL apex was 2000 with Strategery as Bush.
Vince Vaughn is a yes for one host, not only his best but the revival that leads to Dodgeball and Wedding Crashers and gets him out from under The Cell; another goes Wedding Crashers a year later, when it was no longer a fluke, he was dating Jennifer Aniston and on the cover of Us Weekly, one of the biggest stars in the world for a year and a half.
Luke Wilson is a yes: this is his mainstream run with Legally Blonde 2 and Charlie's Angels, when he got the lead white-guy roles, and in a different era he would be in the Harrison Ford zone, which the others call blasphemous and a wild take; he is a comedy actor like Charles Grodin, not an action lead.
The Luke Wilson conversation: one host does not think he is very good, lucked into the right movies, benefited from his creative brother Owen and Wes Anderson, and keeps replicating the doe-eyed Bottle Rocket regular guy in Charlie's Angels, Legally Blonde and this; others love his persona now as a golf, bourbon and Cowboys sportsman you could meet on a semi-private course on a Thursday with a Tecate.
The defense of the take: they fucked up by not waiting to make Star Wars until Luke Wilson was around to play Han Solo, and had he stayed in game shape there was an action-movie path for him. — Chris Ryan
Elisha Cuthbert draws a no, 24 season 1, against the argument that 24 began around 2001 and this came a couple of years in, about as good as it got; whether Girl Next Door is her best performance is asked, and she is incredible on Happy Endings.
Patrick Crenshaw (as transcribed) is probably at his apex here, going out high.
A 2006 sequel script, Old School Dos (transcribed 'Dose'), by Scott Armstrong was turned down by Ferrell and Vaughn; Luke Wilson said in 2016 he would do it; Todd Phillips plays the man at the door; Ferrell streaked for real near a 24-hour gym and shot it in two parts; Patrick Cranshaw (transcribed 'Crenshaw') acted for fifty years, played the sheriff in the Air Bud films and died about four years later; the frat house is a real Pasadena house on Bushnell Avenue used in Back to the Future, Back to the Future 2 and Teen Wolf
In 2006 Scott Armstrong wrote a sequel, Old School Dose (as transcribed), about the aging fraternity going to spring break, turned down by Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn; Ferrell's 2008 explanation was that it had funny set pieces but felt like repeating the fraternity setting; one host would still have seen it, another does not need it after The Hangover 2 and 3.
Of the era's comedies, Old School 2 is the sequel one host would most want; great comedy sequels are rare, Austin Powers aside, Caddyshack 2 was a tragedy, Wayne's World 2 is defended as genius after it came up with McKay, Anchorman 2 will have a life once off Epix, and both Anchorman films have hours of alternate footage.
Luke Wilson was ready in 2016, saying he would do it at the drop of a hat; Todd Phillips plays the man in the curly wig who knocks on Luke Wilson's door for the gangbang, a role he reprises in most of his films including The Hangover.
Will Ferrell ran naked for real, horrifying locals at a 24-hour gym; the streak was filmed in two parts, the second in front of everyone during the Snoop Dogg performance, and he needed to get a little drunk first.
Patrick Crenshaw (as transcribed), who played Blue, had acted in films for fifty years before this role made him famous, played the sheriff in all the Air Bud films, and died about four years after the film.
The fraternity house is a real residential house in Pasadena on Bushnell Avenue, obviously LA, used in three Michael J. Fox films; the hosts guess Doc Hollywood and The Secret of My Success before landing on Back to the Future, Back to the Future 2 and Teen Wolf, and joke about Redfinning it as more attainable than the Boogie Nights house, though it may be a two-block stretch rather than one house.
A philosophical question first: does aged worst mean what has become offensive or what seems antiquated, like a 1984 action scene or seventies red-paint gunfights; the answer is simply what has aged poorly, and here it is Elisha Cuthbert's high-school character at the top of the list.
Kilborn's acting is brutal; Piven's toupee needed another trip to the shop; Artie Lang (as transcribed) and Matt Walsh, two of the funniest people, are misused and told to play it serious, probably a favor and a paycheck around the Howard Stern years after Dirty Work.
James Carville has aged worst two ways: why is he in it, and sixteen years later younger viewers do not know who he is; when the film turns into a Back to School competition, as Stripes does by going to war and Animal House started, the last fifteen minutes are entertaining but forced, which is why stunts like Carville are needed; Craig knows Carville mainly from Bill Hader on SNL.
Luke Wilson sleeping with a high-school girl who then greets him on his date with Ellen Pompeo is a tough beat; she might have been 18, which would have aged less badly, though the Terry O'Quinn scene has him say she is seven months from college, so she is 17 or 18 and either way not great.
Brian Cowan's (as transcribed) agent is added to what aged worst, out of frustration that his career was not bigger.
Luke Wilson disrobing when frisked at the airport, about a year and a half after 9-11, was the first time anyone had fun with TSA, set to Ryan Adams's To Be Young, called one of the best songs of all time; Ellen Pompeo, about to become one of the most bankable TV stars of forty years, is a baby here with an under-written part; Perry Reeves looks the same as in Entourage and Kicking and Screaming and should have had a bigger career.
Earmuffs will probably win the category; the Dan Band swearing through the wedding song is great, especially the cut to Vince Vaughn with his hand up and the freeze-frame reactions of Will Ferrell and Perry Reeves when the first 'fucking' drops.
The Dan Band are in The Hangover and other Todd Phillips films, were LA legends who played bigger bars and Jimmy's show, a host's wife went to five or six shows, and Dan the leader co-wrote a song in the Netflix film Dumplin'.
Snoop Dogg is caught at a great moment with Cocaine and Warren G as DJ and Don Magic Wand (as transcribed) at his side, reportedly doing the music to get into Starsky and Hutch; a four-minute performance in the film is odd, and Melissa McCarthy's Life of the Party lifts the structure with a Christina Aguilera performance.
Craig Kilborn is fun to see, maybe the first person to appear in both aged best and aged worst: a memorable shitheel character in two scenes and the credits, yet he reads lines the way he read The Daily Show and cannot act next to professionals, which is presumably why he has not kept acting; as stunt casting it worked.
The closing credits have aged the best for one host: Kilborn crashes while smoking, goes over a bridge and kills a fly-fishing Jeremy Piven, two and a half minutes of credits story; Porky's and Cannonball Run bloopers are recalled, and The Hangover's Polaroid credits are called the best ever.
The soundtrack is a murderers' row of weird music: Papered Up, Paid in Full, Dust in the Wind, Hungry Like the Wolf, Gonna Make You Sweat, The Sound of Silence, Total Clips of the Heart (as transcribed), Lady, Metallica, and Here I Go Again played about four times.
This and Tenenbaums are called the alpha and omega of Luke Wilson, a good everyman for a while; the fuller Luke Wilson conversation is saved for unanswerable questions.
The film launched Will Ferrell, who has made one host laugh more than anyone since 2000; earmuffs is settled on as what aged best because people still say it as ordinary conversation rather than a movie line, like Kleenex.
A late addition: You're My Boy Blue, along with earmuffs, is in the lexicon and deserved a shout-out, as does the running bit of repeatedly calling some random guy Spanish; the clip of Blue is played.
Four opening nominations: Frank the Tank at Mitchapalooza through the streaking and the women driving slowly beside him; the green-hat oral-sex class; the dart-gun birthday party, including the bread maker re-gifted a third time; and Blue dying during the KY wrestling match, which may run into Blue's funeral and Will Ferrell singing.
Another nomination is the first meeting in the kitchen at Luke Wilson's new place, with earmuffs and Frank walking around with a hockey stick destroying things, watched eight times that week; everybody knows the guy who picks up the hockey stick mid-conversation and makes you afraid something will break.
The first scene with Jeremy Piven's character is very funny and a weirdly good Piven performance, subverting his PCU character now that he is old enough to be the dean; it is pre-Entourage and before he found the right toupee.
The opening with Juliette Lewis and two people in the bathroom, with Todd Phillips at the door, is nominated as a great twist on the familiar scene of a man coming home to noises in the bedroom; it is a good Luke Wilson scene too, and probably her best grown-up performance for one host, who otherwise fears her Natural Born Killers mode.
Asked for the most rewatchable, the pick is the hockey stick scene. — Chris Ryan
Another host goes with Frank the Tank coming back to life, from the guys pressing Frank to have a drink through the 'nice little Saturday' Home Depot speech to 'we're going streaking', and plays the clip; whether the scene runs into his wife finding him and the Speaker City speech is debated.
Other candidates: Vince Vaughn mouthing along to his own commercial, Will Ferrell talking about the car's restrictor plate, the wedding with 'it takes a real man to give away an angel' and the under-the-breath 'this is such a mistake, you got to run' muttering in the church that kills Will Ferrell, and drunk Luke Wilson meeting Ellen Pompeo with 'Denver, the sunshine state'; the hard thing with comedies is whether something is a moment or a scene.
The third host goes earmuffs along with Chris, calling it the most iconic thing in the film aside from the streaking and the most repeated line in his life; the hosts realize earmuffs came from this film, wonder whether it was a Vince Vaughn ad lib or something heard around LA, admit owing him royalties for Ringer-office use, and play the clip.
