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The Rewatchables ·

The Legend of Billie Jean

year 1985decade 80sdirector Matthew Robbinsgenre Actiongenre Drama
host Bill Simmonshost Chris Ryan
All 34 categories

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award · 56:09

Freeze mass media at this era

Chris Ryan: Mass media is imagined stopping at early cable, radio and scarce personal video cameras; the speaker accepts a record-store career in that world and recalls the music of 1984–85.

Chris Ryan: Everybody probably thinks their childhood moment of games or cable TV was perfect.

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson · 1:20:24

Fair is fair.

Chris Ryan: Fair is fair is the Coach Finstock answer after the award was forgotten.

The film

The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)

Directed by Matthew Robbins · Action

96 minutes

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Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Helen Slater Billie Jean Davy
Keith Gordon Lloyd Muldaur
Christian Slater Binx Davy
Richard Bradford Mr. Pyatt
Peter Coyote Lieutenant Larry Ringwald
Martha Gehman Ophelia Jacks
Yeardley Smith Putter Jacks
Barry Tubb Hubie Pyatt
Dean Stockwell Mr. Muldaur

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

16:27

The Andy and Red – Zihuatanejo Award for What Happens the Next Day?

Modern celebrity speculation is followed by imagined futures for Lloyd, Binks, Hubie and Billie Jean.

Modern celebrity speculation is followed by imagined futures for Lloyd, Binks, Hubie and Billie Jean.

Flex pick · Chris Ryan

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 00:16:27Read transcript
  • In 2025 she might appear on the Hawk Tua podcast, join the Unwell network and release music; in 1985 she might return to Corpus Christi and become a schoolteacher. — Chris Ryan
  • Lloyd is imagined entering VHS pornography with equipment, capital and experience of crime. — Bill Simmons
  • Binks is imagined moving to Burlington, working at Ben & Jerry’s and getting beaten up after selling bad acid at a Dead show. — Chris Ryan
  • Lloyd’s father is imagined with a minor role in the David Koresh standoff; Hubie becomes lieutenant governor, and Billie Jean faces lengthy copyright litigation. — Chris Ryan
  • Hubie’s governorship and Binks becoming Doug McCray’s father in The Town are additional jokes. — Bill Simmons
  • Hubie using the Billie Jean episode to claim he learned his lessons and launch a Texas political career is endorsed. — Bill Simmons
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1:01:11

Picking Nits

Billie Jean may not need a love interest; a love-triangle revision is suggested.

Billie Jean may not need a love interest; a love-triangle revision is suggested.

Flex pick · Chris Ryan

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:01:11Read transcript
  • Craig’s addressed contribution questions immediate romance with the first man she meets as weakening empowerment and preventing an exploration of fame’s loneliness. — Chris Ryan
  • A revision gives Billie Jean prior history with Hubie and a triangle with Lloyd; his souvenir-store inheritance is mocked. — Bill Simmons
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