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Heat

year 1995decade 90sdirector Michael Manngenre Crimegenre Drama
host Bill Simmonshost Chris Ryan
All 4 categories

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson · 20:31

Never fall for a guy who courts you by asking why you care what he reads and does

The lessons segment opens with a minor lesson: never fall for a guy who starts courting you by asking why you are so interested in what he reads and does; walk away, since he is not making himself emotionally available. Edie, lonely as a graphic designer from Kentucky working in Santa Monica, still hits it off with Neil, who answers 'I am alone. I am not lonely' and talks about going to Tahiti.

The film

Heat (1995)

Directed by Michael Mann · Crime / Drama

170 minutes [ 1 ] [ 2 ]

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Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Al Pacino LAPD Robbery Homicide Lieutenant Vincent Hanna
Robert De Niro Neil McCauley
Val Kilmer Chris Shiherlis
Jon Voight Nate
Tom Sizemore Michael Cheritto
Diane Venora Justine Hanna
Ashley Judd Charlene Shiherlis
Mykelti Williamson Sergeant Bobby Drucker
Wes Studi Detective Sammy Casals
Ted Levine Detective Mike Bosko
Dennis Haysbert Don Breedan
William Fichtner Roger Van Zant
Natalie Portman Lauren Gustafson
Tom Noonan Kelso
Niki Haris Marcia Drucker
Kevin Gage Waingro
Hank Azaria Alan Marciano
Danny Trejo Gilbert Trejo
Susan Traylor Elaine Cheritto
Kim Staunton Lillian
Henry Rollins Hugh Benny
Jerry Trimble Detective Danny Schwartz
Tone Loc Richard Torena
Ricky Harris Albert Torena
Ray Buktenica Timmons
Jeremy Piven Dr. Bob

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

20:31

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson

Never fall for a guy who courts you by asking why you care what he reads and does; never fall for a guy with no furni...

Never fall for a guy who courts you by asking why you care what he reads and does; never fall for a guy with no furniture; don't call anyone slick during an armored-truck robbery; never leave a living witness; don't sell stolen bearer bonds back to the criminal you took them from; 'the bank is worth the risk' and 'the action is the juice' are not reasons to rob a bank; don't wait in the car when your criminal boyfriend disappears into a hotel that police then surround; don't let word get out that it's okay to steal your stuff; if it rains, you get wet; a life that revolves around barbecue and ballgames sucks; have nothing you can't walk away from in 30 seconds if you spot the heat around the corner

In the discussion (13)
Approx. transcript time · 00:20:31Read transcript
  • The lessons segment opens with a minor lesson: never fall for a guy who starts courting you by asking why you are so interested in what he reads and does; walk away, since he is not making himself emotionally available. Edie, lonely as a graphic designer from Kentucky working in Santa Monica, still hits it off with Neil, who answers 'I am alone. I am not lonely' and talks about going to Tahiti.
  • Major lesson number one, which the speaker hopes a daughter will remember someday: never fall for a guy with no furniture. Asked whether that is worse than falling for a man with a debilitating gambling habit like Val Kilmer's character, the answer is that gambling is at least something, while a man with no furniture could be gone tomorrow; the hosts then imagine Ashley Judd's character hearing the robbery money went to debts and a Super Bowl loss.
  • Lesson: when robbing an armored truck, don't call anyone slick; if nobody says it, the crew is never caught. The one unbelievable thing is how the case hangs on the word: running it through the database should return the phone book, yet it is said again later and catches Sizemore's character, the kind of reach these movies always have.
  • Lesson: never leave a living witness, rather than taking out most of them; the witness problem is what gets Wingro (as transcribed) in trouble, since he kills a guy and De Niro reads it as him making a move.
  • Lesson: after stealing bearer bonds from a criminal, don't try to sell them back to him; the footnote added is not to do the resale in an abandoned drive-in parking lot on Sentinella (as transcribed) but somewhere more public, MacArthur Park perhaps, though that may be dangerous.
  • Lesson: when one crew member says the bank is worth the risk and another says 'for me, the action is the juice,' those are not good reasons to rob a bank. Val Kilmer's character also has gamblers to pay off and Charlene to win back, Neil oddly knows all about Sizemore's character's bonds and real estate, and Sizemore's ten-second beat and blinking before the line is called the greatest moment of his acting career, the clip for his obit reel.
  • Minor lesson that almost made the major list: don't wait patiently in the car for a criminal boyfriend who mysteriously walked into a massive hotel without warning when, ten minutes later, everyone pours out and police cars and fire engines arrive; just drive away, especially on the way to the airport.
  • A friend, Juliet, loves movies about women with terrible choices in men; nobody has ever had a worse choice in a man than Amy Brenneman's character, unlike Diane Venora and Al Pacino's, who fully know where they are in their lives; she watches news of the biggest bank robbery disaster, he strolls home, and she should have run.
  • The major lessons are then listed: never fall for a guy with no furniture; don't let word get out on the street that it's okay to steal your stuff; you know the risk, and if it rains you get wet, called a great high school senior yearbook quote and a good fortune cookie; and if you have a regular life that revolves around barbecue and ballgames, your life sucks.
  • The last and most famous lesson, good for anything in life: have no attachments, nothing you can't walk away from in 30 seconds if you spot the heat around the corner. It works the title into the signature quote subtly, unlike films that shoehorn it in, a Corolla (as transcribed) bit, with Face Off and Travolta cited; the film is about loyalty, and Neil should have left but stays for Val Kilmer's character when he gets shot.
  • The 30-second vanishing act is another reason the film could not be remade now: only the greatest criminals could pull it off, a digital footprint such as emails or a plane ticket to Phoenix would give anyone away where back then people paid in checks and cash, yet the film feels timeless rather than dated.
  • At the end Neil has 30 seconds to decide whether to take Brenneman's character and, unlike with Val Kilmer's, leaves her behind; asked whether he does it to keep her safe, the answer is that he decides she is a loser for still being there amid the chaos at the hotel.
  • Later the lesson is turned on Neil as hypocrisy: with the heat around the corner he still went back for Val Kilmer's character and his shattered clavicle instead of running with a bag of money.
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24:14

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

12-episode Netflix remake with Michael Mann; Heat 2 with Natalie Portman's character as a Los Angeles homicide detect...

12-episode Netflix remake with Michael Mann; Heat 2 with Natalie Portman's character as a Los Angeles homicide detective; Downey and Denzel as a modern pairing; Heat 2 preferred over the Netflix series

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 00:24:14Read transcript
  • Asked whether a 12-episode Netflix remake with Michael Mann involved, or one on Amazon Prime, Hulu or HBO, would be exciting, the answer is that parts would be interesting in the modern world, but surveillance stories are better without the internet: Heat's cops follow the crew with night-vision cameras rather than reading emails and texts, which would feel like cheating, and even this season of Homeland is boring for watching people do stuff on computers.
  • A remake set in the internet world could be part of the charm, but the preference is for it to stick to the streets and get off the net.
  • Earlier the film is called what would have been the greatest 10-episode Netflix series ever: scenes of Val Kilmer's character losing big at Foxwoods or stopping at Morongo on the way back from Arizona, and more on the cook, Natalie Portman's character at school, Van Zandt and Jon Voight.
  • Heat 2 is floated: De Niro's character only passed out, and Natalie Portman's character returns as a Los Angeles homicide detective under Michael Mann, chasing Val Kilmer's character or another bank robber, perhaps falling for Neil's son from another marriage; 'I would see Heat 2.'
  • Asked who could square off as a modern version of the diner scene, no pair is thought to mean what De Niro and Pacino did; Downey and Denzel are proposed as movie stars with acting chops, Downey and Leo are offered instead, Denzel is defended as still having moves as in Flight, and Daniel Day Lewis is ruled out because it has to be guys you'd see on Wilshire or Figaro, prompting an impression of him vowing to work at an old Blockbuster on Fairfax.
  • Choosing between Heat 2 and a 12-episode Netflix modern Heat, the answer is Heat 2, for the big-screen experience, with Heat 2 starring Natalie Portman imagined in theaters in 2019.
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