Robert Stack’s personal breakdown is one explicit favorite; the cockpit and inflatable-pilot sequences are other favorites among a long list of nominated gags.

In the discussion (14)

Approx. transcript time · 00:36:22Read transcript

The red-zone and white-zone airport argument is nominated. — Bill Hader
The jive-speaking passengers, improvised dialogue, subtitles, and June Cleaver translation are nominated. — Bill Hader
Ted and Elaine’s disco flashback, including the continuing Girl Scout fight and knife-in-the-back dance gag, is nominated. — Bill Hader
The two children behaving like adults over coffee are nominated. — Bill Simmons
Captain Over and Roger meeting Joey, followed by Kareem breaking character, are nominated. — Bill Simmons
The sick-girl song leading into Ted’s African basketball flashback and the soldier’s suicide is nominated. — Bill Simmons
The inflatable autopilot’s sexual gag is named as a childhood favorite. — Bill Hader
The attacking dog and gasoline-soaked passenger are nominated. — Bill Simmons
The hysterical passenger being slapped by a line of people is nominated. — Bill Hader
Randy’s breakdown about being unmarried is nominated. — Bill Simmons
The landing and control-room sequence is nominated for its dense run of jokes. — Bill Hader
Robert Stack continuing an increasingly personal monologue after Ted leaves is selected as a favorite. — Bill Hader
The cockpit scenes are selected as another favorite because their jokes endured in everyday use. — Bill Hader
Ethel Merman’s appearance is nominated as a surprising celebrity gag. — Bill Simmons

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41:12

Apex Mountain

Robert Hays is debated for Apex Mountain; Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s appearance immediately after the 1980 title is identi...

Robert Hays is debated for Apex Mountain; Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s appearance immediately after the 1980 title is identified as a literal peak.

In the discussion (2)

Approx. transcript time · 00:41:12Read transcript

Kareem’s role is called a literal Apex because it followed the 1980 championship and a dominant Finals performance. — Bill Simmons
Robert Hayes is proposed for Apex Mountain because the movie and television success gave him unusual visibility, though the case is debated. — Bill Hader

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49:09

What’s Aged the Best?

The durable premise, unwanted airplane conversation, hidden visual and sound jokes, repeated wordplay, score, Leslie ...

The durable premise, unwanted airplane conversation, hidden visual and sound jokes, repeated wordplay, score, Leslie Nielsen’s comedy turn, Air Israel gag, Lorna Patterson, and singular construction

In the discussion (9)

Approx. transcript time · 00:49:09Read transcript

A food-poisoned crew forcing a traumatized former pilot to land the airplane is praised as a durable premise. — Bill Simmons
Being trapped beside a passenger who will not stop talking is called timeless. — Bill Simmons
Hidden details such as the newsstand label and propeller sound over the jet reward repeat viewing. — Bill Simmons
The repeated literal wordplay is praised. — Bill Hader
Elmer Bernstein’s serious theme music is praised. — Bill Hader
Leslie Nielsen becoming a comedy performer is selected as a lasting benefit. — Bill Simmons
The Air Israel aircraft and Jewish-sports pamphlet are praised as small visual jokes. — Bill Simmons
Lorna Patterson’s voice and performance are praised. — Bill Simmons
The movie’s rapid-fire construction is praised as singular. — Bill Simmons

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51:56

The Big Kahuna Burger Award for Best Use of Food and Drink

The poisoned fish.

In the discussion (1)

Approx. transcript time · 00:51:56Read transcript

The fish and the escalating description of food-poisoning symptoms are selected. — Bill Hader

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51:56

The Great Shot Gordo Award for Most Cinematic Shot

The wave covering Ted and Elaine on the beach.

In the discussion (1)

Approx. transcript time · 00:51:56Read transcript

The beach wave that leaves the lovers covered in seaweed is selected. — Bill Hader

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52:51

The Slow Ride / Kid Cudi – Pursuit of Happiness Award for Best Needle Drop

The sped-up Bee Gees disco sequence.

In the discussion (1)

Approx. transcript time · 00:52:51Read transcript

The sped-up “BGs” music in the disco is selected. — Bill Simmons

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52:51

Chest Rockwell / Brock Landers Award for Best Character Name

Ted Striker; Leon.

In the discussion (2)

Approx. transcript time · 00:52:51Read transcript

Ted Stryker is selected, with repetition of his name helping the joke. — Bill Simmons
Leon is a simple alternate character-name choice. — Bill Simmons

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53:17

The Sean Penn “I Brought My Own Pack” Award for Excellence in On-Screen Smoking

Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges

In the discussion (1)

Approx. transcript time · 00:53:17Read transcript

Stack and Bridges are selected for smoking as if they were already doing it off camera. — Bill Simmons

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53:41

The Butch’s Girlfriend Award for the Weakest Link in the Film

One participant wants five more minutes of jokes, while another defends the short runtime and leaving the audience wa...

One participant wants five more minutes of jokes, while another defends the short runtime and leaving the audience wanting more.

In the discussion (2)

Approx. transcript time · 00:53:41Read transcript

One participant proposes another jive scene, more Stephen Stucker, another child-adult exchange, and an airplane-bathroom scene. — Bill Simmons
Another participant prefers the short runtime and argues that it leaves the audience wanting more. — Bill Simmons

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57:38

What’s Aged the Worst?

Robert Stack’s rejected backend, Kareem’s no-longer-surprising casting, the extra slap, racial material, and the tran...

Robert Stack’s rejected backend, Kareem’s no-longer-surprising casting, the extra slap, racial material, and the translated-jive localization problem

In the discussion (5)

Approx. transcript time · 00:57:38Read transcript

Robert Stack taking an extra twenty thousand dollars instead of a percentage is identified as a costly decision. — Bill Simmons
The jive dialogue creates translation problems, with a Bavarian dialect used in German. — Bill Simmons
The original shock of Kareem appearing in the film has faded with time. — Bill Hader
Leslie Nielsen returning to slap the passenger again is identified as a gag unlikely to be made now. — Bill Hader
The African basketball sequence is identified as uncomfortable for contemporary children. — Bill Hader

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1:00:23

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Lorna Patterson should have become a bigger star.

In the discussion (1)

Approx. transcript time · 01:00:23Read transcript

Lorna Patterson is proposed as deserving a larger career after this and Private Benjamin. — Bill Simmons

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1:01:22

Casting What-Ifs

Keep Robert Hays as Ted, Julie Hagerty as Elaine, and Leslie Nielsen as Rumack

In the discussion (12)

Approx. transcript time · 01:01:22Read transcript

David Letterman auditioned for Ted Striker, but the panel prefers that he was not cast. — Bill Hader
The studio reportedly pushed Barry Manilow for Ted. — Bill Hader
Fred Willard reportedly declined Ted because he did not understand the script. — Bill Hader
Tim Matheson reportedly could not take Ted while filming 1941. — Bill Simmons
Caitlyn Jenner auditioned for Ted and did not get the role. — Bill Simmons
Robert Hayes is preferred because he plays the absurdity straight. — Bill Hader
Sigourney Weaver and Shelley Long auditioned for Elaine before Julie Haggerty was cast. — Bill Hader
Dom DeLuise, Christopher Lee, Vincent Price, and Jack Webb reportedly declined Doctor Rumack. — Bill Hader
Leslie Nielsen is preferred for Rumack. — Bill Hader
Pete Rose was wanted for Roger but baseball scheduling led to Kareem’s casting. — Bill Simmons
Harriet Nelson was wanted as the jive translator before Barbara Billingsley was cast. — Bill Simmons
Peter Graves initially rejected the script as tasteless before being persuaded to play Over. — Bill Hader

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1:10:10

The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award

Jonathan Banks

In the discussion (2)

Approx. transcript time · 01:10:10Read transcript

Jonathan Banks is selected from the air-traffic-control cast.
The sick passenger actor is recognized as the sick passenger and from later father and chancellor roles. — Bill Hader

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1:11:23

The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance

Stephen Stucker

In the discussion (2)

Approx. transcript time · 01:11:23Read transcript

Ethel Merman, Kareem, the jive passengers, Lloyd Bridges, and Stephen Stucker are distinct nominees. — Bill Simmons
Stephen Stucker is selected because he appears from nowhere and dominates his moments. — Bill Hader

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1:12:29

Recasting Couch

Lynda Carter as an added passenger

In the discussion (1)

Approx. transcript time · 01:12:29Read transcript

Lynda Carter is proposed as one more passenger for a roughly ninety-second appearance. — Bill Simmons

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1:13:07

Half-Assed Internet Research

The real LAX announcers, dailies demand, Ethel Merman’s final role, Elmer Bernstein’s score, Kareem’s Zero Hour analo...

The real LAX announcers, dailies demand, Ethel Merman’s final role, Elmer Bernstein’s score, Kareem’s Zero Hour analogue, Al White’s jive dialogue, and a deleted opening gag

In the discussion (7)

Approx. transcript time · 01:13:07Read transcript

The real married couple who recorded the LAX announcements performed the red-zone and white-zone argument. — Bill Simmons
Demand to watch the dailies reportedly required the studio to add a second screening room. — Bill Simmons
The film was Ethel Merman’s final acting role. — Bill Simmons
Elmer Bernstein was asked to score the comedy with the seriousness of his dramatic work. — Bill Hader
Kareem was cast in the athlete-pilot role because Zero Hour! had used football star Elroy Hirsch. — Bill Simmons
Al White researched Black English, wrote the jive dialogue, and also wrote Barbara Billingsley’s lines. — Bill Simmons
A test audience’s silence caused an opening-airport spitting gag to be removed. — Bill Simmons

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1:20:04

Cruise or Hanks?

Cruise

In the discussion (1)

Approx. transcript time · 01:20:04Read transcript

Cruise is selected because Hanks already has extensive comedy experience and serious Cruise would create the stronger contrast. — Bill Simmons

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1:20:44

Scorsese or Spielberg?

Steven Spielberg.

In the discussion (2)

Approx. transcript time · 01:20:44Read transcript

Both directors are considered ill-suited to the deliberately cheap visual style. — Bill Hader
Steven Spielberg is selected because 1941 shows comparable bombastic comedy instincts. — Bill Hader

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1:23:18

Picking Nits

The war timeline, medical equipment, food-poisoning symptoms, speed of onset, storage of sick passengers, and propose...

The war timeline, medical equipment, food-poisoning symptoms, speed of onset, storage of sick passengers, and proposed Lake Michigan diversion

In the discussion (6)

Approx. transcript time · 01:23:18Read transcript

Ted’s age and conflicting wartime flashbacks make his war history unclear in a 1980 setting. — Bill Hader
The tube pulled from the sick girl is questioned because its removal immediately causes convulsions. — Bill Hader
The poisoned fish should cause vomiting or diarrhea rather than sedation. — Bill Simmons
The group argues the fish symptoms would not happen that fast. — Bill Simmons
The group asks where all the incapacitated passengers were placed. — Bill Hader
Kramer’s immediate proposal to divert the airplane into Lake Michigan is criticized for risking innocent people. — Bill Hader

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1:25:45

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

The existing sequel is acknowledged and criticized for escalating the original jokes.

In the discussion (2)

Approx. transcript time · 01:25:45Read transcript

The group notes that a sequel exists. — Bill Hader
The sequel is criticized for repeating and intensifying jokes from the first movie. — Bill Simmons

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1:27:31

Just One Oscar

The screenplay

In the discussion (2)

Approx. transcript time · 01:27:31Read transcript

The screenplay is proposed for the single Oscar. — Bill Hader
Leslie Nielsen is proposed as a supporting-actor alternative. — Bill Hader

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1:29:06

Probably Unanswerable Questions

The source of the topless running gag

In the discussion (1)

Approx. transcript time · 01:29:06Read transcript

The participants ask how the seemingly unrelated topless scene entered the movie. — Bill Simmons

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1:30:08

What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?

The exterior miniature airplane and the inflatable autopilot

In the discussion (2)

Approx. transcript time · 01:30:08Read transcript

The miniature used for exterior airplane shots is selected. — Bill Simmons
The inflatable autopilot is selected, though the original reportedly disintegrated in storage. — Bill Simmons

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1:30:43

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson

Trust a distinct comic instinct and commit to the straight-faced casting choice.

In the discussion (1)

Approx. transcript time · 01:30:43Read transcript

The filmmakers’ decision to cast dramatic actors and trust their own unusual comic instinct is selected as the lesson. — Bill Hader

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1:31:13

Best Double Feature

The Naked Gun or Zero Hour!

The Naked Gun

Zero Hour!

In the discussion (2)

Approx. transcript time · 01:31:13Read transcript

The Naked Gun is proposed as a companion comedy. — Bill Hader
Zero Hour! followed by Airplane! is proposed to reveal the parody’s direct borrowings. — Bill Hader

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1:31:35

Who Won the Movie?

Stephen Stucker; Leslie Nielsen

In the discussion (3)

Approx. transcript time · 01:31:35Read transcript

Stephen Stucker is chosen for an unusually funny performance preserved by the film. — Bill Hader
The Zucker brothers and Jim Abrahams are considered for the careers the film launched. — Bill Hader
Leslie Nielsen is selected because the film transformed his career and enabled another two decades of comedy work. — Bill Simmons

Podcast choices

Bill Hader: Leslie Nielsen
Bill Hader: Stephen Stucker

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