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13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award

Kiersten Warren as Trish

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:35:05Read transcript
  • Kathy Baker is too known to count; Gollum is "clearly" offered, but the response is that he is too famous after 20 years of movies. — Bill Simmons
  • The alternative is Kiersten Warren as Trish, the frizzy-haired Sparkle editor-in-chief at the party, recognized from Saved by the Bell: The College Years; called a good one and a great call. — Bill Simmons
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance

Arlene the assistant

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:35:33Read transcript
  • Young Tom Tom, the frizzy Sparkle editor and the cab driver (ASR "chris grundy" / "grandy") are offered, but it's clearly Arlene the assistant, hitting home runs and crying during the worst pitch ever. — Juliet Litman
  • Arlene is loved, especially when invited along with "aren't you coming?" and visibly touched. — Bill Simmons
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

Recasting Couch

Mark-Paul Gosselaar as Alex Carlson

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:36:26Read transcript
  • Tim Curry is offered for the magazine editor role. — Juliet Litman
  • Ryan Reynolds as Alex Carlson, post-Van Wilder, is suggested, but the other participant has always been anti-Ryan Reynolds and finds him unlikable here. — Bill Simmons
  • Mark-Paul Gosselaar is offered instead, the most important actor to that participant from 1986 to 1992; "I could see that working." — Bill Simmons
  • Scott Wolf would have been great but is shorter than Garner. — Bill Simmons
  • The movie would work in almost any city, such as Chicago, Boston, LA or San Francisco. — Juliet Litman
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

Best Hang / Worst Hang

Young Matt

Flex pick · Juliet Litman

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:38:14Read transcript
  • A Lena Dunham running Spahn Ranch award for most jarring casting, Andy Serkis as Smeagol in an office, was considered but already covered. — Juliet Litman
  • Best Hang / Worst Hang is a category believed to be off the flex list, called accidentally deleted. — Juliet Litman
  • Young Matt is a sneaky great hang: independent, dancing to Talking Heads, good music taste, a photographer and woodworking hobbyist who fetches his keyboard guitar to save the party. — Juliet Litman
  • The response: would absolutely have been friends with Matt in the 80s; a good one. — Bill Simmons
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

Half-Assed Internet Research

Christa B. Allen's repeat young-Garner role; Garner's childhood photos on the closet door; deleted Alex Carlson breakup scene

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:39:37Read transcript
  • The hosts report that Christa B. Allen played 13-year-old Jenna and again played Garner's younger version in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. — Bill Simmons
  • The hosts report that the seven-minutes-in-heaven closet door shows actual photos of Garner as a child. — Bill Simmons
  • The hosts report that a deleted scene of Jenna breaking up with Alex Carlson is on the Blu-ray special features; one participant owned the DVD in college. — Bill Simmons
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

Apex Mountain

Jennifer Garner as an actress; Vienna

In the discussion (12)
Approx. transcript time · 01:40:08Read transcript
  • Jennifer Garner is a yes: on Alias, the movie nearly makes $100 million, and she starts dating Ben Affleck; the other agrees as an actress. — Bill Simmons
  • She is more famous and richer now, as the Capital One spokesperson who took Once Upon a Farm public, so money-making Garner may not have peaked here. — Bill Simmons
  • A participant interviewed her for a Felicity project; she did 20th-anniversary press with Judy Greer for Vogue and is called a beloved Hollywood lady. — Bill Simmons
  • Mark Ruffalo's entry is only "mark ruffalo now" (ASR), so no clear judgment is recorded. — Bill Simmons
  • Razzles: this is probably the most prominent Razzles appearance, unless the 80s. — Juliet Litman
  • For 2000s fake fashion-magazine plots, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is the bigger magazine rom-com and would be the apex; Eva Mendes in Hitch and Kate Hudson are the biggest such roles. — Juliet Litman
  • Madonna's Crazy for You: the answer is no, since it was already big from Vision Quest; Thriller is obviously mid-80s. — Juliet Litman
  • Sam Ball, who played Alex Carlson, has multiple IMDb names, a red flag; "I hope to never see him again." — Juliet Litman
  • Post-9/11 feel-good New York movies: this is in the running, but Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 (and 25th Hour) are up there. — Juliet Litman
  • Judy Greer: no; Descendants is a better performance, and she is a reliable second banana. — Bill Simmons
  • Rom-com characters cruelly breaking up a wedding: My Best Friend's Wedding, A Lot Like Love or this; it has to be Julia Roberts. — Juliet Litman
  • Vienna reached Apex Mountain here, completely rejuvenated and finally getting its acclaim after 27 years; agreed. — Juliet Litman
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

Picking Nits

Living with an undone alternate life; New York geography; unemployed Matt; unrealistic magazine business; Jenna not looking things up; Six Chicks dressed for 1985; anachronistic video camera; Matt too accepting; littering; unchanged basement; junk food without consequence; kept Sparkle letters; overnight bus ads; the dollhouse; the home wedding

In the discussion (16)
Approx. transcript time · 01:47:09Read transcript
  • The biggest nit is how she lives knowing she undid an alternate life. — Bill Simmons
  • New York details: 61 Fifth Avenue is at 11th Street but they show 12th, she asks what the Village is while living there, and travel is too quick. — Bill Simmons
  • Matt seems unemployed and always available; he needed hobbies like fantasy football or the Knicks and is probably a pothead, which suits Ruffalo not wanting to be there. — Bill Simmons
  • The magazine business is unrealistic: relaunches are normal, not a death sentence. — Juliet Litman
  • She would have had more questions and could have looked things up on a You've Got Mail-style computer. — Juliet Litman
  • The Six Chicks are dressed like 1985, not 1987, lacking big hair, per a participant in high school then. — Bill Simmons
  • Jenna's dad's small video camera didn't exist in 1987, when cameras were bulky. — Juliet Litman
  • Matt should have been far more alarmed by how crazy Jenna was. — Juliet Litman
  • Adult Jenna litters, throwing shrimp over her shoulder; one participant admits to littering as a kid, and an off-mic participant is said to hate littering. — Bill Simmons
  • The parents would have remodeled the basement in 17 years. — Bill Simmons
  • Jenna eats junk the whole movie with no jeans-don't-fit payoff. — Bill Simmons
  • Evil Jenna keeps the Sparkle letters in her desk drawer. — Bill Simmons
  • The class-of-2004 ad is on buses within 12 hours, though bus ads are booked far in advance. — Bill Simmons
  • A participant's wife's biggest nit: engaged Matt keeps a dollhouse of Jenna, with a bathtub picture, for 17 years; any partner would smash it. — Bill Simmons
  • The dollhouse is at his parents' house, which is still weird and suggests they want him back with her; she threw it at him, yet it is unbroken. — Bill Simmons
  • Weddings at a parent's house are a movie trope; home weddings in the Hamptons are very expensive, and someone who can afford San Ysidro could afford a hotel. — Bill Simmons
13 Going on 30 The Rewatchables
13 Going on 30

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

Remake

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:56:01Read transcript
  • A listener email expands the choices to sequel, prequel, streamer, all-Black cast, spin-off, remake or untouchable. — Bill Simmons
  • The answer is remake, ironically: the hosts say Netflix announced in March 2026 a remake directed by Brett Haley starring Emily Bader and Logan Lerman, with Garner and Greer spotted doing cameos and Garner possibly an EP. — Bill Simmons
  • Odds: 30 percent it's good, 70 percent disappointing, and 100 percent a wife and daughter watch and love it. — Bill Simmons
  • It is surprising it wasn't already a one-season streaming show; it would be an Amazon YA show needing more sexual content. — Bill Simmons
  • A hypothetical version has her turn 30 as a male hockey player, a Heated Rivalry take. — Bill Simmons
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