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The Rewatchables ·

The Legend of Billie Jean

year 1985decade 80sdirector Matthew Robbinsgenre Actiongenre Drama
host Bill Simmonshost Chris Ryan
All 34 categories

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award · 56:09

Freeze mass media at this era

Chris Ryan: Mass media is imagined stopping at early cable, radio and scarce personal video cameras; the speaker accepts a record-store career in that world and recalls the music of 1984–85.

Chris Ryan: Everybody probably thinks their childhood moment of games or cable TV was perfect.

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson · 1:20:24

Fair is fair.

Chris Ryan: Fair is fair is the Coach Finstock answer after the award was forgotten.

The film

The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)

Directed by Matthew Robbins · Action

96 minutes

Find on IMDb Find on JustWatch Find on Rotten Tomatoes
Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Helen Slater Billie Jean Davy
Keith Gordon Lloyd Muldaur
Christian Slater Binx Davy
Richard Bradford Mr. Pyatt
Peter Coyote Lieutenant Larry Ringwald
Martha Gehman Ophelia Jacks
Yeardley Smith Putter Jacks
Barry Tubb Hubie Pyatt
Dean Stockwell Mr. Muldaur

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

58:33

Casting What-Ifs

None

None

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 00:58:33Read transcript
  • Both responses say no casting what-ifs were found. — Chris Ryan
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59:58

Recasting Couch

James Spader or John Cusack as Lloyd; alternate songs for action scenes.

James Spader or John Cusack as Lloyd; alternate songs for action scenes.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 00:59:58Read transcript
  • Young James Spader is proposed for Lloyd while retaining Texas; Lloyd’s lack of accent is rationalized with private school. — Bill Simmons
  • Young John Cusack is proposed for Lloyd and warmly endorsed. — Bill Simmons
  • R.E.M.’s Pretty Persuasion would replace the golf-course chase song for more energy. — Bill Simmons
  • Til Tuesday’s Voices Carry is proposed for the escape sequence with Billie Jean lookalikes, emphasizing a female artist and empowerment. — Chris Ryan
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1:02:20

Half-Assed Internet Research

A real slap, concealed hair, vanished locations and uncertain Benatar/haircut stories

A real slap, concealed hair, vanished locations and uncertain Benatar/haircut stories

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:02:20Read transcript
  • Putter’s mother reportedly slapped Yeardley Smith for real, leaving her face numb; Smith reportedly refused a haircut and used a concealed ponytail. — Bill Simmons
  • Smith’s comic timing is praised; City Slickers and an uncertain sitcom memory are discussed. — Bill Simmons
  • The miniature golf course is reported replaced by the Texas State Aquarium, and an abandoned-mall video is mentioned. — Chris Ryan
  • The claim that Benatar called this the worst movie ever made is repeated with explicit doubt and a settle-down response. — Bill Simmons
  • Fast-Rewind accepts visitor-submitted anecdotes, so stories about Helen Slater’s haircut opinions are treated as unverified. — Chris Ryan
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1:11:28

Picking Nits

Police response, escape logistics, money, the hostage plan and anonymity strain belief.

Police response, escape logistics, money, the hostage plan and anonymity strain belief.

In the discussion (8)
Approx. transcript time · 01:11:28Read transcript
  • Too many detectives pursue a shoulder shooting, and Hubie repeatedly interferes without an obstruction charge. — Chris Ryan
  • The children should be caught quickly because they stay in Corpus Christi and revisit the same places. — Bill Simmons
  • An expensive unlocked scooter in a trailer park is questioned, though the purchase itself is supported. — Bill Simmons
  • Breaking into the district attorney’s house by chance, his absence and the private shopper stretch belief. — Bill Simmons
  • Remaining safely at Lloyd’s house or borrowing gas money seems easier than the hostage plan, with returning the sisters home offered as an explanation. — Bill Simmons
  • Rally sharpshooters apparently obeying the district attorney and the final Binks hostage plan are called absurd. — Bill Simmons
  • Billie Jean leaving without charges is questioned; Piat’s wrongdoing and falsely attributed simultaneous robberies are possible explanations. — Bill Simmons
  • Cutting her hair after recording the tape would better protect anonymity; driving a plated station wagon among repeated destinations strains the chase. — Chris Ryan
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1:18:17

Probably Unanswerable Questions

An accidental killing rewrite, Cowboys allegiance and Pyatt’s politics are considered.

An accidental killing rewrite, Cowboys allegiance and Pyatt’s politics are considered.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:18:17Read transcript
  • Would the film improve if Binks accidentally killed Piat, prompting a Pulp Fiction comparison and a visit from the Wolf? — Bill Simmons
  • Which side of the Danny White/Gary Hogaboon quarterback dispute did Piat favor, and did he own Mavs tickets? — Chris Ryan
  • Piat is imagined as a future Trump-aligned merchandise seller whose rhetoric about unruly youth anticipates MAGA. — Bill Simmons
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1:20:05

Best Double Feature

The Terminator, The Last Starfighter and RAD are offered.
The Legend of Billie Jean
The Terminator
The Last Starfighter
RAD
In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:20:05Read transcript
  • The Terminator is paired for mid-1980s female empowerment; The Last Starfighter or RAD are alternatives as cult VHS favorites. — Bill Simmons
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1:20:39

Producer review

Craig enjoyed a fun 95 minutes and its entertaining plot.

Craig enjoyed a fun 95 minutes and its entertaining plot.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:20:39Read transcript
  • The addressed first-time viewer had not heard of it and reports Matt Belloni also did not recognize it; he enjoyed the film. — Chris Ryan
  • The response praises an entertaining, smart plot and accepts a blend of genuine and ironic affection for these 1980s films. — Chris Ryan
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