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The Rewatchables ·

Fast Five

year 2011decade 10sdirector Justin Lingenre Drama
host Bill Simmonshost Shea Serrano
All 15 categories

Most Rewatchable Scene · 18:27

The favela rooftop chase

Picking a most rewatchable scene from this movie is hard; the opener, where the gang frees Dom from the prison bus, is nominated first as a great scene.

Because nitpicks and unanswerable questions are inherent in these scenes, the hosts jump the gun: prisoner transports in action movies always run down an empty highway with no police protection and no explanation, the bus driver alone with forty felons and one guard must be asking the same questions, and a prisoner seeing that empty highway would start to feel he might get out.

The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie · 1:13:55

"I'll see you soon, Toretto"

'I'll see you soon, Toretto' is offered as the obvious best quote and the other agrees there is probably no better one; also loved is Brian's smirk and 'you know we got that' after Dom's speech about needing two precision drivers who don't crack under pressure, which the hosts perform.

The film

Fast Five (2011)

Directed by Justin Lin · Drama

130 minutes

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Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Cast credits have not been imported yet.

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

18:27

Most Rewatchable Scene

The favela rooftop chase

The favela rooftop chase

In the discussion (14)
Approx. transcript time · 00:18:27Read transcript
  • Picking a most rewatchable scene from this movie is hard; the opener, where the gang frees Dom from the prison bus, is nominated first as a great scene.
  • Because nitpicks and unanswerable questions are inherent in these scenes, the hosts jump the gun: prisoner transports in action movies always run down an empty highway with no police protection and no explanation, the bus driver alone with forty felons and one guard must be asking the same questions, and a prisoner seeing that empty highway would start to feel he might get out.
  • The 'all accounted for except for one' beat is loved every time, compared to Michael Myers getting out in Halloween; the TV reporter announcing no fatalities after the bus flipped some 85 times drew laughter in the theater, since handcuffed prisoners without seatbelts would have gone through a window, so throw in two fatalities.
  • The physics of the car angling into the bus to tip it is a crazy plan that shows how 'precisive' (as transcribed) the drivers are; a controversial take follows, being upset they broke Dom out of prison and wanting a year or two of a Dom in prison movie, and the other agrees the film could have opened with Dom in a prison fight and being moved for his own safety.
  • For the train heist the hosts first note Vince from Fast One, underrated and given a raw deal as the semi bad guy who was right about Paul Walker being undercover FBI; he is living in the favelas in Brazil when Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster arrive on the run with a job getting cars off a train, one of the craziest four-minute scenes of all time.
  • Justin Lin wanted as little CGI as possible, so the cars jumping off the train were real stunt drivers; the fight on the train gets agents shot, Brian jumps onto Dom's car and they drive off a mountain, a drop called 350 feet easy; picking nits, they should have exploded on hitting the water, which at that height is like concrete, and the car already in the water is a factor.
  • The first two picks being the first two scenes shows how incredible the movie is; the slow-motion shot of the car falling away from Brian took one host's breath away, and popping out of the water unwinded is the film telling the audience the series will get more and more ridiculous, so come along; a correction that the agents were DEA, not FBI.
  • The favela rooftop chase was complicated to film in Puerto Rico rather than Brazil because real people live there; Rock and Vin Diesel finally lock eyes, Dom runs into Elena and she falls for him, as everyone who tries to arrest Dom does, Brian and eventually even the Rock included; Paul Walker and Brewster jump and fall through a house and nobody with a gun shoots, so impressed by the jump.
  • The balcony barbecue scene after Brian's girlfriend's pregnancy is one host's personal favorite because the writers clearly needed a Vin Diesel monologue at the 45-minute mark and Paul Walker's 'what do you remember about your father' comes out of nowhere; the other is mad at the laughing, defends the question as coming from a man whose own dad wasn't around, and calls it his favorite scene, the same fight they had on the Fast and the Furious episode.
  • Vin Diesel is called a phenomenal actor in these serious moments, probably talking about his real dad; the other's reason the screenwriters wanted the scene is how Diesel pronounces the word father, as if drunk, which earns a rebuke for making jokes again; they love the scene for slightly different reasons but just the same, and the series always works in a serious Vin Diesel scene whether it makes sense or not.
  • At the warehouse the team invited to rob the drug dealer gets along, the opposite of the 2019 Celtics, with Vin watching like a proud dad before saying 'toast' as a sentence and giving the money-will-come-and-go speech ending 'salute me familiar' (as transcribed); this cements the family theme, of which the first film had only traces in the quarter-mile speech and the Jesse moment.
  • Dom fights Hobbs is held for later; the Ambush is underrated and exciting even though Hobbs loses every man he has, a tough work trip for The Rock; the bank vault heist through the streets of Brazil and the ending where they open the safe as the song plays complete the nominees.
  • Asked for a pick, one host votes for the get-the-team-together montage, the kind of under-two-minute scene to pull up on YouTube, and for a longer one the favela chase, the first time the crew is caught between Agent Hobbs and Hernan Reyes, where Hobbs's team mows everyone down in a flat-out bunch of murder the series had never shown, making the stakes feel real; 'that's my vote'.
  • Thinking of most rewatchable as flicking channels two minutes before the scene arrives, the other might be with him on the favela chase, a great four minutes, even over the Rock fight; the other choice is the bank vault scene, an all-time 'how are they doing that' with no visible CGI; a son skipped Fortnite to lie back down for the Rock fight; in the end there is no right answer, two guys fighting or Brazilian property destroyed depending on mood, and everybody wins.
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41:13

What’s Aged the Best?

The Rock as a free-agent acquisition

The Rock as a free-agent acquisition

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 00:41:13Read transcript
  • The Rock as a free agent acquisition for Fast Five is like Durant to the Warriors ('the rant to the Warriors' as transcribed) but the happy, fun version: a superstar added with no fallout, apart from him and Vin Diesel getting a little snippy on social media.
  • Vince's dramatic return, his feelings hurt over the chip in the car and his slamming of Dom's concept of family with 'how's your family now, Dom? Where's Liddy?' (as transcribed), cuts deep; insulting Vin's concept of family is the worst thing you can do to him, other than maybe insulting his car.
  • Gal Gadot, now one of the most famous actors around, looks unbelievable, and the slow-motion bikini walk at the beach club with Han puts a new group of 13-year-olds through puberty every year; whoever thought of the bank vault dragging through the streets behind two cars should brag about it to strangers forever, imagined as interrupting every introduction of a Fast Five producer.
  • Dom's explanation of the team he needs is recited, a chameleon, a fast talker, surveillance, guys to punch through walls, weapons and two precision drivers who never lose; on the GM scale with Bob Myers and Daryl Morey it is a performance graded A plus, since he knew days ahead he would need someone to open a wall, 'the Daryl Morey of Vice' (as transcribed).
  • Asked whether a winner was picked, one host names The Rock as free agent acquisition, the best version of Durant to the Warriors, likening it to Cheers extending its run by replacing Shelley Long with Kirstie Alley and enlarging Frasier; without new A list blood after Paul Walker's death the franchise could not have continued; the other calls that fair, since The Rock becoming the most famous person in Hollywood made it okay for Helen Mirren to fight a submarine with cars by part eight.
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46:26

What’s Aged the Worst?

Dom and Brian surviving the 350-foot fall; the faded buildup to Diesel versus The Rock; Dom's unexplained Rio street-...

Dom and Brian surviving the 350-foot fall; the faded buildup to Diesel versus The Rock; Dom's unexplained Rio street-racing connections; Hobbs as the worst agent of all time; the four-minute lag in the Ocean's 11 stretch

In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 00:46:26Read transcript
  • Loving the movie makes this hard, but Dom and Brian surviving the 350-foot waterfall is probably not that realistic.
  • The dramatic buildup to Diesel versus The Rock has lost its luster after a decade with the movie; in 2010 the news that The Rock would be in Fast Five had a real electricity that has faded.
  • How Dom is so wired into the Rio street racing scene after three decades in LA is one host's worst-aged element; the other disagrees, since Dom has been in the wind since the first film, went to Mexico and then South America, and becomes that figure wherever he goes; this is again why he should have been in a prison movie, running a maximum security prison.
  • Hobbs might be the worst FBI or DEA agent of all time: he loses Diesel and the whole crew in the favelas despite sneak-attacking them with AR 15s, cannot find the warehouse, lets them go at the street race, loses his entire team in the ambush, joins the heist for revenge, gives Dom 24 hours without realizing the safe was switched, and laughs at the end; he should just go to the warehouse where they took the vault, and his imagined report to his boss runs 30 dead, $38 million in damage, the money lost, the criminals gone, 'you've been promoted'.
  • The movie lags about four minutes during the Ocean's 11 planning part and could be tightened.
  • Asked where they stand on Elena, one host is pro-Elena: the young cop with a haunted past who wants to do the right thing and becomes part of the crew, a smaller Brian O'Connor; she looks about 5'1", and the hosts guess they had to cast somebody short because Vin Diesel is secretly short, around 5'3".
  • The other picks nothing for the first time in the show's history because every part has a purpose; even the cliff fall is the moment the crew becomes almost superheroes, from fist fights in the first film to a parking complex falling on Dominic Toretto by the seventh; the one concession is that Hobbs's performance at his job is abominable.
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55:24

The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance

The police-department official Roman Pierce (as transcribed) confronts; Vince; Eva Mendez (as transcribed) also nomin...

The police-department official Roman Pierce (as transcribed) confronts; Vince; Eva Mendez (as transcribed) also nominated

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:55:24Read transcript
  • One host's pick is the guy in the police department Roman Pierce (as transcribed) confronts to get the box into the vault, who starts screaming out of nowhere as if he had just learned to act and was going for an Oscar; the other was going to give that guy the Saul Rubinick (as transcribed) overacting award and calls the pick fair.
  • Eva Mendez (as transcribed) in the closing credits comes out of nowhere; showing Letty drew an audible gasp in the theater, and in about a minute she flirts with the rock, leans over the desk and drops a bomb, a box score of two minutes, three threes and five rebounds, so one host would give it to her.
  • Vince is also a Deion Waiters candidate: only about four scenes, the great monologue reminding everyone that Brian was a cop and 'look at our family now'; 'if we can include Vince then it's gotta be Vince', and he was really swinging.
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1:03:57

Apex Mountain

Vin Diesel; Paul Walker

Vin Diesel; Paul Walker

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:03:57Read transcript
  • Vin Diesel is a yes: his best start-to-finish performance in a Fast movie, one of the biggest stars in the world at this point, with a foil ('foyer' as transcribed) in The Rock to go toe-to-toe with, as the series became a kajillion-dollar franchise; the other votes yes for all the same reasons.
  • Paul Walker is less certain because of his 2000-range breakout with Fast 1, but Fast 5 is the pick for him too, a buddy cop movie crossed with a heist in which he knew he would be as long as he lived, the best version of the best franchise he was ever in.
  • The Rock is not a yes here: his apex was right before Skyscraper and Rampage came out, around 2016 with Central Intelligence, Moana and Fast 8 coming, talk of running for president and the biggest social media presence of any celebrity.
  • A joke asks if this is Apex Mountain for cocoa butter, with ten pounds of it on his arms; nobody else is at apex, and whoever decided to make The Rock sweaty in every scene, even at night, had the second-best idea behind the bank vault.
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1:07:11

The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award

Joaquin De La Meda (as transcribed), the billionaire drug dealer

Joaquin De La Meda (as transcribed), the billionaire drug dealer

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:07:11Read transcript
  • The Joey Pants Award goes to the actor playing the billionaire drug dealer, Joaquin De La Meda (as transcribed), one of those guys who has been in a lot of stuff; he was the bad guy in Desperado ('Buccio' as transcribed) and a villain in 24 when it was really good, with a great bad guy face.
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1:07:40

Is This Movie Better With…?

Danny Trejo or Michael K. Williams

Danny Trejo or Michael K. Williams

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:07:40Read transcript
  • One host finds it clearly Trejo and is upset he was not in the movie; the other disagrees, since Trejo is too gruff and the film needs somebody slick like Michael K. Williams as the bad guy's henchman, replacing the unloved main muscle left standing after the shootout, so that it is basically Omar in that role, which is granted to be pretty good.
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1:15:01

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

No

No

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:15:01Read transcript
  • Asked whether it could be remade as a ten-episode Netflix show, the answer is no, do not mess with this franchise in any way, 'we will kill you', no chance.
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1:21:58

Who Won the Movie?

The Rock

The Rock

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:21:58Read transcript
  • The Rock won the movie because he took this role and spun it into the career he has now; that is the character he is now, with all of these great iconic lines. — Shea Serrano
  • The Rock has the 'some bitch' thing and probably the four or five best lines of each recent movie; he planted a flag and became that guy, while Dom was already established, and he pulled off credibility despite being the worst FBI agent of all time; the Hobbs and Shaw trailer line about saving the world four times is mocked, since Dominic rescued him after kicking his ass, and in Seven he has a broken arm and is barely there; the other agrees he won, invigorating the franchise and pushing his career to another level.
  • A six-year-old son names The Rock his favorite person, more than his own father; 'you're worthy number two' (as transcribed).
Podcast choices
Shea Serrano
The Rock
Speaker not identified
The Rock
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