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The Rewatchables ·

Bloodsport

year 1988decade 80sdirector Newt Arnoldgenre Drama
host Bill Simmonshost Shea Serranohost Jason Concepcion
All 16 categories

Most Rewatchable Scene · 16:16

Chong Li killing a guy

The opening credits are loved: the music sets it up, Bolo Young (as transcribed) as Chong Li gets the last-billed credit shine while kicking giant ice blocks (how long does an ice block take to prepare and hang?), there is a terrible cut to the tree-chopping coconuts, a monkey-style fighter does MMA in front of torch-holding island natives, Ogre as Ray Jackson hears you can get killed in the Kumite, and a giant smiling bear-hug guy breaks a man's back over his knee; it is called powerful storytelling that introduces every piece before the arena is readied.

Young JVD training blindfolded and the rope device, written down as a 'rope Jesus cross', are rewatchable; the real Frank Deuce (as transcribed) said the drawn-and-quartered device was real and used on him; the hosts wonder what it would do to a normal person, note the film implies children were forced into splits, and that Kickboxer does the same thing lying down; the mentor is borrowed from seven other movies including Enter the Dragon.

The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie · 1:11:42

"Why don't you quit, round eye?"

Nominated: 'why don't you quit, round eye' as heckling of young Frank; 'brick not hit back', an iconic hat tip to Bruce Lee; Victor Lin's 'You Jackson? You look like a Jackson', taken as proof Ray should keep his name; the film has few quotes, so the obvious 'I break you, I break your friend' from Bolo rounds out the best ones.

The film

Bloodsport (1988)

Directed by Newt Arnold · Drama

92 minutes

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Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Donald Gibb Ray Jackson
Leah Ayres Janice Kent
Norman Burton CID Agent Helmer
Forest Whitaker CID Agent Rawlins
Bolo Yeung Chong Li
Ken Siu Victor Lin
Roy Chiao Senzo Tanaka
Philip Chan Captain Chen
Lily Leung Mrs. Tanaka
Michel Qissi Suan Paredes
Ken Boyle Colonel Cooke

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

56:54

Casting What-Ifs

None known; Forrest Whitaker's presence is the only what-if

None known; Forrest Whitaker's presence is the only what-if

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 00:56:54Read transcript
  • There are no casting what-ifs to report because little information exists about the film; Forrest Whitaker being in it at all feels like the what-if, and the hosts want to ask him who was up for the role and how he got the script, guessing a friend of a relative's fiancé had a Hong Kong movie.
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1:00:47

Half-Assed Internet Research

Frank Dux's claimed 329-0 Kumite record was disproved by the Los Angeles Times; Sheldon Lettich says Dux's tall tales...

Frank Dux's claimed 329-0 Kumite record was disproved by the Los Angeles Times; Sheldon Lettich says Dux's tall tales inspired the script and a corroborating witness later recanted; Dux was fight coordinator and trained Van Damme for three months; Kowloon Walled City was later demolished; Van Damme does six splits; the knocked-out tooth was real; Paco was Muay Thai champion Paulo Tocha and Swan Paredes actor Michel Qissi became Tong Po; the arcade game is Karate Champ; Mortal Kombat drew on the film

In the discussion (8)
Approx. transcript time · 01:00:47Read transcript
  • Frank Dukes' (as transcribed) résumé, shown at the end of the film, claimed 329 Kumite matches from 1975 to 1980, undefeated, with 36 consecutive knockouts; the internet is full of doubt, a Los Angeles Times story a few months after release disproved everything, and a trophy he said was awarded to him turned out to have been made down the block from his house.
  • He also said he was in the CIA and his father in the Mossad; co-writer Sheldon Ledich (as transcribed), one of the two writers, is quoted saying he knew Dukes for months, that most of his tales turned out to be bullshit, but the Kumite stories sounded like a great movie.
  • Dukes' real mistake was claiming it happened to him instead of pitching it as a movie idea, since he could have written 25 martial arts films; one story has him saying the film toned it down and the real fights happened on a temple roof with tiles cracking underfoot; that kind of fabrication only worked pre-internet, or if you are running for president.
  • Lettich (transcribed 'Letitch') is also quoted about Richard Bender, who swore he attended the Kumite and years later confessed Dukes coached his story; photos of Dukes do not look like a fifteenth-degree ninjutsu expert who killed for the CIA, and he is clearly what Steven Seagal later became; he was the film's fight coordinator and put Van Damme through a three-month training program.
  • The film was shot inside Kowloon Walled City, which was later knocked down entirely, possibly for an airport; cursory research says it was a constant fire hazard associated with crime where fugitives could hide; the hosts joke Janice's Atlantic story on the Kumite got it torn down.
  • How many splits Van Damme does: four are named, the drawn-and-quartered device, the temple roof, the chairs and the Pumala fight, a trailing fifth is counted without being named, and being dragged by Pumala makes six; the jump over Chong Li in the air is proposed as a seventh but ruled not to count, so the answer is six.
  • The fighter elbowed in the mouth really was knocked unconscious and lost teeth, and it was kept in the film; Bolo was in Enter the Dragon; Paco was played by Paolo Tocha (as transcribed), a Muay Thai champion; Michael Kissy (as transcribed), who played Swan Paredes, the broken-leg guy, went on to play Tong Po in Kickboxer, because in Thailand they could not find a local for the part and put makeup on him.
  • The arcade game played is Karate Champ from 1984, and the idea that martial-arts skill translates to the game is enjoyed; Mortal Kombat took huge inspiration from the film, with Johnny Cage the obvious character, and game creator John Tobias is quoted as wanting to make a gritty game based on it.
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1:08:29

Picking Nits

Everyone lets Chong Li perform his finishing move; the gambling makes no sense; Dukes has to prove himself with the b...

Everyone lets Chong Li perform his finishing move; the gambling makes no sense; Dukes has to prove himself with the brick despite holding an invitation; nine fights implies 512 entrants

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:08:29Read transcript
  • Everybody is too accommodating of Chong Li's finishing move: he holds conscious opponents and works the crowd while nobody pulls him aside to say stop killing people; one host disagrees, calling it his gimmick.
  • How gambling at the Kumite works is a mystery of shouting and thrown money, like old Wall Street pit scenes and Trading Places, and bettors throw their tickets on a knocked-out fighter; one host has attended a cockfight in the Philippines, where a Cristo holding his arms out memorizes hand-signal bets, balled-up losing money is swept from the ring and winnings are tossed back as a paper football, which sounds awful and wildly inefficient.
  • Why does Van Damme have to prove himself by breaking the brick when he already has the invitation? The answer offered is two-factor authentication, clicking 'I'm not a robot' to confirm it is the real guy, and the nit is rescinded.
  • Chong Li, the reigning champion, has nine fights in the tournament, so a single-elimination bracket needs 512 fighters; the stands show many fighters but not 512, prompting the question of whether a pile of bodies sits outside Kowloon Walled City.
  • Noted early as a nitpick: after failing all film at their one job, the two agents turn up in row two to watch the final.
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1:13:13

Probably Unanswerable Questions

What happened to the mentor's son? Why was the son so bad at fighting? How does Forrest Whitaker react when you menti...

What happened to the mentor's son? Why was the son so bad at fighting? How does Forrest Whitaker react when you mention Bloodsport? What was in the blinding powder? Where was Ray Jackson from and what was his martial art?

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 01:13:13Read transcript
  • What happened to the mentor's son, whose entry into the Kumite was the whole point before he got beaten up outside school and vanished? He dies, which is why Frank steps in, but the death is never shown, only mourning and a picture on the wall, maybe the military; three minutes of sad walking to a sappy song but no backstory.
  • Why is the mentor's son so bad at fighting with that resource for a father? He was beaten by three older kids at eleven and his fight scenes were poor, though he did put Frank, who was holding a sword, on his knees; he should have looked like LeBron James Jr. highlights.
  • What happens when you mention Bloodsport to Forrest Whitaker at the next table at dinner? He would be thrilled and tell one of his million Kowloon stories about the place being shut down; he is an all-time cool guy.
  • Raised early: where was Ray Jackson from, probably somewhere with a mountain nearby like Wyoming, and what martial art was he trained in, since he does no MMA move in the film.
  • Stepping on the category early: what was in the blinding powder, acid or a salt pill, and why did he go completely blind when the point-of-view shots are only blurry? Maybe he was hamming it up.
  • Asked whether every question was answered, one host has a thousand more but keeps them to himself.
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1:19:16

Recasting Couch

Conor McGregor in the Frank Dux role; Nate Diaz; Rampage Jackson

Conor McGregor in the Frank Dux role; Nate Diaz; Rampage Jackson

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:19:16Read transcript
  • For a reboot you need Conor McGregor in the Jean-Claude Van Damme role, finding out about the Kumite and jumping in, perhaps forced by mobsters; whether he can do the humility the Frank Dukes character requires is answered yes, since his documentary shows a tender side, melting when Arnold Schwarzenegger does the 'I'll be back' line; Nate Diaz and Rampage Jackson round out the cast.
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