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The Rewatchables ·

Armageddon

year 1998decade 90sdirector Michael Baygenre Science fictiongenre Action
host Bill Simmonshost Chris Ryanhost Shea Serranohost Jason Concepcion
All 17 categories

Most Rewatchable Scene · 28:21

Split: the astronauts’ return

Chris Ryan: The New York meteor strike is praised as an effects opener whose long Eddie Griffin setup resembles the era’s habit of giving comedians disposable mini-movies.

Harry discovering Grace with A.J. and firing across the oil rig announces the movie’s insanity, while Grace calling her father Harry and his physical intrusion become objections.

The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie · 1:22:23

“He’s got space dementia”

The panel briefly misattributes the line between the two Wills before correcting that Fichtner, not Patton, says it.

The film

Armageddon (1998)

Directed by Michael Bay · Science fiction

150 minutes

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Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Bruce Willis Harry S. Stamper
Billy Bob Thornton Dan Truman
Ben Affleck A.J. Frost
Liv Tyler Grace Stamper
Will Patton Chick
Steve Buscemi Rockhound
William Fichtner Colonel Willie Sharp
Owen Wilson Oscar
Peter Stormare Lev Andropov

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

28:21

Most Rewatchable Scene

Split: the astronauts’ return; assembling and briefing the drillers; the Billy Bob and presidential speeches; disarmi...

Split: the astronauts’ return; assembling and briefing the drillers; the Billy Bob and presidential speeches; disarming the bomb

In the discussion (8)
Approx. transcript time · 00:28:21Read transcript
  • The New York meteor strike is praised as an effects opener whose long Eddie Griffin setup resembles the era’s habit of giving comedians disposable mini-movies. — Chris Ryan
  • Harry discovering Grace with A.J. and firing across the oil rig announces the movie’s insanity, while Grace calling her father Harry and his physical intrusion become objections.
  • Harry’s crew demands—cleared tickets, citizenship, Caesar’s Palace, the Kennedy answer, White House access, and no taxes—are a funny, sharply written assembly payoff. — Bill Simmons
  • The crew’s slow-motion walk and the president’s global address turn NASA departure into maximal patriotic spectacle.
  • A.J. and Bear’s crash, Independence’s destruction, A.J.’s monster-vehicle return, and the abrupt forgetting of Max provide escalating asteroid action and dark comedy.
  • Harry’s goodbye, sacrifice, and the surviving astronauts’ return culminate in Sharp asking Grace to shake the hand of the bravest man he has met.
  • The Russian station sequence, the bomb standoff, Harry’s promise, and Billy Bob defying the president are additional major candidates.
  • One final pick is the astronauts landing and Sharp greeting Grace; another is assembling the crew and its Kennedy beat; a third ties Billy Bob’s briefings with the presidential speech; the last favors disarming the bomb.
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45:26

What’s Aged the Best?

Billy Bob Thornton’s grounding authority, patriotism, product placement, supporting performances, commentary, Los Ang...

Billy Bob Thornton’s grounding authority, patriotism, product placement, supporting performances, commentary, Los Angeles doubling, and urgency-as-exposition

In the discussion (9)
Approx. transcript time · 00:45:26Read transcript
  • Thornton’s NASA director is compared favorably with his Friday Night Lights work and Ed Harris in Apollo 13; his “global killer” explanation makes outlandish science sound authoritative. — Bill Simmons
  • The brief asteroid discoverer naming it after his wife contributes an unexpectedly funny one-scene performance.
  • The film’s unapologetic patriotism still creates emotional force. — Bill Simmons
  • The Affleck/Tyler hill scene operates as an exceptionally conspicuous BMW commercial and marker of Bay’s early embrace of product placement against the era’s anti-selling-out culture.
  • Aerosmith underscoring Steven Tyler’s daughter during erotic animal-cracker play is preserved as deliberately noted psychosexual discomfort rather than ignored as romance. — Bill Simmons
  • Keith David’s skeptical military authority and the closing-credit wedding footage and memorial portraits are praised for giving the broad movie opposition and an emotional coda.
  • Affleck’s commentary challenge—why teach drillers to be astronauts instead of astronauts to drill—became a legendary critique, with Bay telling him to stop questioning it. — Bill Simmons
  • Will Patton’s reunion reactions, Liv Tyler’s durable career, and Bay using Los Angeles for distant cities are additional favorites.
  • The constant command that there is no time is identified as efficient exposition that keeps complicated space mechanics legible and the film moving. — Chris Ryan
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57:57

What’s Aged the Worst?

The 150-minute runtime, Twin Towers image, training premise, Affleck’s replacement teeth, weaker romance, Rockhound’s...

The 150-minute runtime, Twin Towers image, training premise, Affleck’s replacement teeth, weaker romance, Rockhound’s sexual behavior, and the Godzilla swipe

In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 00:57:57Read transcript
  • Criterion inclusion is jokingly treated as an objection and then defended as recognition of an important movie. — Bill Simmons
  • At roughly 150 minutes the film could lose about 20 minutes, despite a playful desire for even more. — Bill Simmons
  • A burning Twin Tower in the opening destruction now reads as eerie and sobering. — Bill Simmons
  • The failure to train astronauts as drillers is a premise-breaking problem that Bay never resolves, though one defense distinguishes mathematical space training from embodied drilling instinct. — Bill Simmons
  • Bruce Willis’s hairpiece is mostly defended, but Affleck’s $20,000 set of enlarged white teeth is a conspicuous Bay-driven transformation. — Bill Simmons
  • One host rejects the Affleck/Tyler love scenes, while Rockhound’s repeated interest in barely adult women is described as not surviving to 2020.
  • Bay’s extended opening insult aimed at the competing Godzilla film remains inexplicably petty.
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1:02:16

The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award

William Fichtner

William Fichtner

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:02:16Read transcript
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1:03:25

The Ruffalo / Hanna / Rubinek / Partridge Overacting Award

No final selection: Carl the asteroid discoverer and Colonel Davis

No final selection: Carl the asteroid discoverer and Colonel Davis

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:03:25Read transcript
  • Carl repeats demands for a phone book and attacks his wife with theatrical energy in a tiny role.
  • The second shuttle pilot’s “this is what we trained for” intensity is the late alternate. — Bill Simmons
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1:04:42

The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance

Owen Wilson

Owen Wilson

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:04:42Read transcript
  • Michael Clarke Duncan is ruled too present; Carl and Eddie Griffin remain eligible minor candidates.
  • Wilson’s western gallop under pursuing helicopters and his compression of a technical briefing into one comic phrase clinch the award.
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1:10:50

Apex Mountain

Michael Bay

Michael Bay

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:10:50Read transcript
  • Willis has a second-summit case because he converts extraordinary leverage into this film, The Sixth Sense, and Unbreakable, though Die Hard remains his stricter apex. — Bill Simmons
  • Bay uses Armageddon’s success to obtain total freedom and Pearl Harbor-scale resources; all agree this accumulation of power is the Baypex.
  • Michael Clarke Duncan’s peak arrives with The Green Mile, while Will Patton, Liv Tyler, Keith David, and Aerosmith have other stronger moments.
  • Thornton’s authority may elevate this movie more than his work elevates any other, though Monster’s Ball and Friday Night Lights complicate his case.
  • Titanic wins the 1990s-disaster-movie apex over Armageddon. — Bill Simmons
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1:23:06

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

No remake; Chick’s post-mission family relapse as an extension

No remake; Chick’s post-mission family relapse as an extension

In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:23:06Read transcript
  • The suggested sequel material follows the reconciliation failing again when Chick returns to gambling. — Bill Simmons
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1:28:09

Who Won the Movie?

Billy Bob Thornton

Billy Bob Thornton

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:28:09Read transcript
  • Two voters choose Thornton because his magnetic competence and gravity keep the fourth-billed NASA role—and the movie—credible.
  • One voter chooses Will Patton in an openly personal selection that the others call a homer pick.
  • Bay owns the film stylistically but is denied the win for disowning it after criticism and for later excess; the hosts urge him to claim the masterpiece.
Podcast choices
Speaker not identified
Billy Bob Thornton
Speaker not identified
Will Patton
Speaker not identified
Billy Bob Thornton
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