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The Longest Yard The Rewatchables
The Longest Yard poster
The Longest Yard

What’s Aged the Best?

Burt Reynolds’s athletic movie-star performance, the sports realism, split-screen game coverage, car chase, period styling, Caretaker twist, and decision not to kill Crewe receive the strongest praise.

In the discussion (13)
Approx. transcript time · 00:43:38Read transcript
  • A giant movie star leading a sports film is praised as a model that has become rare.
  • The ashtray, cigarettes, radio football call, and gray leisure suit immediately establish the 1970s setting.
  • The split-screen game coverage is praised for introducing a new visual grammar late in the movie without breaking immersion.
  • The car chase benefits from the long skids and less precise handling of a 1973 Maserati.
  • Anitra Ford’s look is treated as specifically evocative of the mid-1970s.
  • The observed Ed Loudder is praised for a résumé spanning several sports movies.
  • Michael Conrad’s later Hill Street Blues presence is noted.
  • Using an announcer inside the sports movie is credited as a device later films repeated.
  • Caretaker’s ability to obtain steroids, vitamins, and stimulants is treated as funny period detail.
  • The very wide photography and multi-picture design are praised as theatrical choices.
  • Caretaker’s murder is called both devastating and an effective story turn that keeps prison danger present.
  • The decision to replace an ending where Crewe was shot preserves the movie’s satisfying resolution.
  • Burt Reynolds’s dismissive later account of the remake is treated as evidence of his cranky persona.
The Longest Yard The Rewatchables
The Longest Yard poster
The Longest Yard

The Butch’s Girlfriend Award for the Weakest Link in the Film

Crewe’s failure to explain the warden’s Caretaker-murder threat to the team

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:57:48Read transcript
  • The panel argues that the prisoners likely would have accepted losing if Crewe explained the threat of a murder frame.
  • If Crewe throws the game, the teammates he betrays could ruin him for the rest of his prison time.
  • Unger’s obvious guilt and Crewe’s bond with Caretaker make the warden’s frame threat seem less credible.
The Longest Yard The Rewatchables
The Longest Yard poster
The Longest Yard

What’s Aged the Worst?

The opening domestic violence, Bernadette Peters styling, repeated warden reaction shot, remake’s eclipse of the original, smelling salts, and football brutality

In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 00:59:05Read transcript
  • The opening domestic violence is called harsh and jarring.
  • Bernadette Peters’s beehive styling is criticized.
  • The same shocked-warden reaction appears to be repeated from multiple angles during the game.
  • The remake is criticized for stealing recognition from a film the panel regards as already complete.
  • Smelling salts for injured players are treated as an outdated response to likely concussions.
  • Old receiver alignments are one of the few football details that visibly differ from the modern game.
  • Brass knuckles and deliberate injury tactics are treated as unacceptable football equipment and strategy.
The Longest Yard The Rewatchables
The Longest Yard poster
The Longest Yard

The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie

“You’ve come too far to stop now”

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:06:21Read transcript
  • The final huddle’s come-too-far line is the leading quote.
  • The line about a player having broken his neck is another prominent nominee.
  • Crewe saying people keep him around for his sense of humor is offered as a summary of Burt Reynolds’s appeal.
  • Knauer’s answer that fifteen gun turrets explain the warden’s command is nominated.
The Longest Yard The Rewatchables
The Longest Yard poster
The Longest Yard

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Burt Reynolds is called the greatest car-chase driver; alternate takes read the film as a story about America and speculate that Crewe fathers a child in prison.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:07:15Read transcript
  • Burt Reynolds is argued to be the greatest performer at driving while being chased.
  • Steve McQueen and Ryan Gosling are considered as alternatives.
  • The movie is read as a story about Americans from different backgrounds uniting through football and hatred of authority.
  • A deliberately speculative take imagines that the secretary becomes pregnant after the encounter with Crewe.
The Longest Yard The Rewatchables
The Longest Yard poster
The Longest Yard

Casting What-Ifs

James Hampton as Caretaker; modern equivalents for Joe Kapp, Ray Nitschke, and Sonny Sixkiller

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:10:05Read transcript
  • James Hampton was reportedly intended for Unger before pushing to play Caretaker.
  • The observed Joe Cap and Ray Nitchke are identified as real football stars in the cast.
  • Kirk Cousins is proposed as a present-day Joe Cap equivalent.
  • Khalil Mack and Fred Warner are considered as Ray Nitchke equivalents.
  • The observed player is reported as a former University of Washington quarterback who also played in the WFL.
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