In the discussion (1)
Approx. transcript time · 01:51:27Read transcript
- Mr. Highway is the immediate memorabilia choice. — Chris Ryan
Categories & segments
The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson
“Once you realize you can do anything, you’re free” is offered, along with practical lessons to hire a sitter and supervise a dangerous child.
In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:51:55Read transcript
- Henry’s freedom maxim is presented with limited truth. — Bill Simmons
- The parents should hire a sitter and not let Henry take Connie skating. — Bill Simmons
In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:52:23Read transcript
- Mikey is the leading same-premise pairing. — Bill Simmons
- Home Alone highlights the theory that Kevin is already villainous.
- The Bad Seed is proposed because The Good Son borrows heavily from it.
Who Won the Movie?
Macaulay Culkin for performance; Kit Culkin as the shadow producer
In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:52:37Read transcript
- Macaulay Culkin wins for a singular outlier performance in his short filmography.
- Kit Culkin is proposed for forcing Macaulay and Quinn into the project and helping produce a hit. — Sean Fennessey
Podcast choices
- Speaker not identified
- Macaulay Culkin
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- Kit Culkin
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- Macaulay Culkin
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- Macaulay Culkin
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- Kit Culkin
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- Macaulay Culkin
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- Kit Culkin
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- Macaulay Culkin
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- Kit Culkin
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- Macaulay Culkin
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- Kit Culkin
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- Macaulay Culkin
- Speaker not identified
- Kit Culkin
- Sean Fennessey
- Kit Culkin
Unintentional Comedy Award
The film’s extreme premise, compressed plot logic, and numerous obvious nitpicks make its unintentional comedy unusually strong on a rewatch.
In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:53:11Read transcript
- The first watch is described as harrowing child danger, while later watches can expose more absurdity. — Chris Ryan
- The unintentional comedy is called off the charts. — Bill Simmons
- The panel contrasts implausible writing with work by nine artisans described as great craftspeople of their era. — Chris Ryan
In the discussion (12)
Approx. transcript time · 00:02:03Read transcript
- The segment is introduced as a top-ten list of movies in which something is wrong with a child. — Bill Simmons
- Village of the Damned is number ten, covering both the 1960 film and the 1995 remake. — Sean Fennessey
- Late Night with the Devil is number nine for its possessed girl on live television. — Sean Fennessey
- Brightburn is number eight and is described as an evil-Superman premise. — Sean Fennessey
- The Good Son is number seven. — Sean Fennessey
- The Bad Seed is number six and is identified as a major influence on The Good Son. — Sean Fennessey
- The Omen is number five. — Sean Fennessey
- We Need to Talk About Kevin is number four, ahead of The Omen. — Sean Fennessey
- Orphan is number three. — Sean Fennessey
- The Shining is number two, with Danny initially framed as a possible source of danger. — Sean Fennessey
- The Exorcist is number one for the observed Reagan. — Sean Fennessey
- Children of the Corn and Mikey are proposed as omissions after the ranked ten. — Bill Simmons
In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 00:20:50Read transcript
- Ebert is described as hating the film with unusual intensity and questioning what Macaulay Culkin’s parents were thinking. — Bill Simmons
- The panel argues that Ebert often let moral revulsion toward slashers, juvenile comedy, and mean-spirited films outweigh craft. — Sean Fennessey
- The episode states that Ebert awarded one-half star, described as unprecedented across roughly 440 covered movies. — Bill Simmons
- Siskel is kept distinct: his objections focus on plot logic around Mr. Highway and the absent investigation. — Sean Fennessey
- Ebert asks who would want to see the film and calls it creepy and unpleasant because very young children enact horrible behavior. — Bill Simmons
- Ebert proposes the alternate title Henry: Portrait of a Future Serial Killer. — Bill Simmons
- Ebert calls the cliff climax unconvincing, contrived, meretricious, and manipulative; the panel rejects the severity of that judgment. — Bill Simmons
The Den of Thieves Benihana Award for Scene-Stealing Location
The Rock Harbor house
In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:54:19Read transcript
- The Rock Harbor house is the primary real-estate and scene-stealing-location choice. — Bill Simmons
- The father’s isolated desert home is offered as an alternate.
- The panel compares the Maine house with the coastal house in Sleeping with the Enemy. — Bill Simmons
What’s Aged the Best?
Macaulay Culkin breaking from his sweetheart image, both child performances, practical stunt work, the untouched dead-child bedroom, unsupervised childhood danger, and high-end direction
In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 00:16:14Read transcript
- Casting the Home Alone star as a murderous child is praised as an effective break from his public image. — Sean Fennessey
- Culkin can appear sweet or eerily malevolent, making the role credible. — Sean Fennessey
- Elijah Wood preserves some doubt that grief may be making Mark unstable.
- Practical cliff work, wide shots, and physical stunt staging give the film tangible danger.
- The untouched dead-child bedroom functions as a recurring wound that the story can reopen. — Bill Simmons
- The abandoned-building vandalism and freedom to roam recall unsupervised childhood play. — Chris Ryan
- Henry playing taps for the dead dog and adjusting his weapon after missing a cat sharpen his characterization.
Gandolfini Butter on My Ass So It Pops in My Mouth Award
Quinn Culkin’s performance as Connie
In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:51:23Read transcript
- The panel criticizes Connie’s monotone delivery and notes the difficulty of acting opposite Culkin and Wood. — Bill Simmons
- The role is enjoyed as evidence of Kit Culkin using his influence to place another child in the film. — Bill Simmons
I Used to Fuck Guys Like You in Prison Award for Craziest Quote
“Hey, Mark, don’t fuck with me”
In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:46:46Read transcript
- “Hey, Mark, don’t fuck with me” is singled out as an extraordinary threat from the child character.
- The category calls the threat to Mark the craziest quote. — Bill Simmons
The Great Shot Gordo Award for Most Cinematic Shot
Henry looking down the treehouse rope and Henry approaching Connie’s hospital bed are the leading shots.
In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:58:05Read transcript
- Henry looking down at Mark from the rope is proposed. — Sean Fennessey
- Henry approaching Connie in the hospital is compared to Michael Corleone’s lighting in The Godfather Part II. — Sean Fennessey
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