Categories & segments

Hitch poster
Hitch

Apex Mountain

Hitch The Rewatchables

Eva Mendes, Kevin James, Amber Valletta, and post-9/11 New York; not Will Smith, jet skis, Ellis Island, or waxing scenes.

Benadryl and several movie devices receive debated or negative answers.

In the discussion (9)
Approx. transcript time · 01:38:55Read transcript
  • Will Smith is placed below his late-1990s apex.
  • Eva Mendes is placed at or near her apex.
  • Kevin James is placed at his breakthrough apex.
  • Benadryl is debated and rejected.
  • Jet skis are rejected in favor of Eastbound & Down and Miami.
  • Amber Valletta is selected.
  • Hair waxing is rejected because The 40-Year-Old Virgin did it better the same year.
  • Ellis Island is rejected.
  • Post-9/11 New York comeback movies are proposed, with Spider-Man as competition.
Hitch poster
Hitch

How Would Van Lathan Get Out of This One?

Hitch The Rewatchables

Own being the date doctor and defend the good it creates.

Van argues that helping produce relationships, weddings, and children is more constructive than gossip reporting; the others reply that this defense still loses the woman.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:43:43Read transcript
  • Van says he would admit directly that he is the date doctor because the work supports him. — Van Lathan
  • He would defend the work by pointing to relationships, weddings, and children it helped create. — Van Lathan
  • He would attack the gossip reporter’s work as intrusive and negative. — Van Lathan
  • The other speakers object that the defense does not solve the relationship problem and still loses the woman.
Hitch poster
Hitch

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Hitch The Rewatchables

Whether Hitch continues as the date doctor; how Albert earns money.

Exposure could bankrupt Hitch, or produce a lucrative book, media, and podcast business.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:44:56Read transcript
  • Whether Hitch continues his business after exposure is questioned.
  • One answer predicts he is broke and his relationship fails.
  • The counterargument predicts a book advance, television appearances, and a lucrative advice brand.
  • How Albert continues earning money after quitting is questioned.
Hitch poster
Hitch

Picking Nits

Hitch The Rewatchables

Albert’s coordination; repaired shirt; Sara attending the wedding; the newspaper staff; whipped cream.

Each objection receives its own explanation or counterargument where supplied.

In the discussion (12)
Approx. transcript time · 01:46:39Read transcript
  • Albert being both clumsy and physically coordinated is questioned.
  • Kevin James’s real athleticism is distinguished from Albert’s intended clumsiness.
  • Sara returning Hitch’s badly torn shirt fully repaired is questioned.
  • Drinking Benadryl like a cocktail is questioned.
  • Allegra inviting Sara after the gossip story nearly ruins her relationship is questioned.
  • Allegra understanding that Hitch did not manufacture Albert’s appeal is offered as a defense.
  • Eva Mendes’s character complimenting Allegra’s bag is jokingly offered as sufficient reconciliation.
  • The gossip editor caring about Sara’s personal life and work-life balance is criticized as implausibly benevolent.
  • The large newspaper staff’s unclear jobs are questioned.
  • The newspaper friend’s actual job or beat is questioned.
  • Sara eating whipped cream from a can is criticized as a male-written cliché.
  • A daughter doing it as a teenager is offered as a counterexample before the behavior is reframed as childlike.
Hitch poster
Hitch

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

Hitch The Rewatchables

Hitch 2 with Will Smith returning from retirement.

The contemporary dating climate is offered as the reason the sequel is timely, while Smith’s age is the main objection.

In the discussion (4)
Approx. transcript time · 01:50:42Read transcript
  • A sequel with Will Smith is endorsed.
  • Hitch being drawn out of retirement is proposed to address Smith’s age.
  • The current dating climate is argued to need Hitch’s approach.
  • Smith’s post-Oscars career and age are discussed as practical complications.
Hitch poster
Hitch

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Hitch The Rewatchables

Sexual chemistry; sports as a first date; Hitch’s fee and customer acquisition.

The panel distinguishes sports, estimates a weekly price, and debates whether men would refer friends.

In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 01:52:58Read transcript
  • Whether Hitch has more sexual tension with Sara or Albert is questioned.
  • Sports as a first date are debated, with baseball favored, basketball context-dependent, and football rejected.
  • A sports date is defended as better after several prior dates.
  • Hitch’s 2005 fee is estimated around $1,500 per week after higher guesses.
  • Payment terms and lack of guarantees are questioned.
  • Word of mouth is identified as customer acquisition, then challenged because clients might hide using him.
  • Men referring unlucky friends is defended as plausible.
Hitch poster
Hitch

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson

Hitch The Rewatchables

True love does not need gimmicks; live deliberately; value breathtaking moments.

The movie’s aphorisms are repeated with mixed enthusiasm.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 02:00:28Read transcript
  • Life is measured by moments that take your breath away is proposed and mocked as corny.
  • Wake up each day on purpose is proposed.
  • True love does not need gimmicks is selected.
Hitch poster
Hitch

Who Won the Movie?

Hitch The Rewatchables

Will Smith; Kevin James is a close second.

The panel repeatedly chooses Smith while crediting James with nearly stealing the movie and gaining more career value.

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 02:01:35Read transcript
  • Will Smith is repeatedly selected as the winner.
  • Kevin James is repeatedly identified as a very close second.
  • Smith’s established dominance is contrasted with Hitch serving as James’s breakout.
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