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Toy Soldiers poster

Toy Soldiers

year 1991decade 90sdirector Daniel Petrie Jr.

111 minutes

Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Sean Astin Billy Tepper
Wil Wheaton Joey Trotta
Louis Gossett Jr. Dean Edward Parker
Keith Coogan Snuffy Bradberry
George Perez Ricardo Montoya
T.E. Russell Hank Giles
Shawn Phelan Yogurt
Knowl Johnson Phil Donoghue
Denholm Elliott Headmaster Gould
Jerry Orbach Albert Trotta
Andrew Divoff Luis Cali
Michael Champion Jack Thorpe
Jerry Valdez Jorge
Jesse Doran Enrique Cali
Mason Adams Otis Brown
R. Lee Ermey General Kramer
Richard Travis Frank Ingram
Stan Kelly Sheriff Role
Jeffrey Dawson Security Guard

Toy Soldiers | The Rewatchables

host Bill Simmonshost Kyle Brandtproducer Craig Horlbeck
Explore episodeClose episode

What’s Aged the Best?

Astin’s athleticism; Wheaton’s accent and earring; opening; Yogurt; score; shooting reactions; plans; expulsion joke; phone-sex nostalgia

In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 00:09:58Read transcript
  • Wheaton’s inconsistent exaggerated New York accent and dangling earring supply unintentional comedy; the jewelry is corrected from a cross to an ankh.
  • Astin’s climbing, running, sliding and driving look impressively athletic, inspiring a hypothetical Billy–Rudy crossover.
  • Opening in Colombia and throwing a judge from a helicopter are enjoyable action conventions.
  • The judge’s flying robes, Yogurt’s name, Wheaton’s demeanor, the score and elaborate shooting-victim reactions are enjoyed.
  • The boys’ detailed intelligence folder and maps are impressively organized.
  • The Guinness-record expulsion joke recalls familiar action-film dialogue.
  • Phone-sex lines recall a period of scarce adult material and communal teenage curiosity.

Most Rewatchable Scene

Roll call; Billy’s escape

In the discussion (15)
Approx. transcript time · 00:17:32Read transcript
  • Billy’s punishment with a metal rod briefly creates anxiety about how sadistic the scene will become.
  • The basement party establishes friendships through disguised mouthwash liquor, crude etiquette, radiator signals and a hacked phone-sex line overheard by the dean.
  • The first roll call establishes the hostages, including Ricardo revealing he understands Spanish and Billy lunging at the terrorists.
  • The roll-call intimidation is considered too weak; proposals include a frightened younger boy, more physical threats or displaying the murdered teacher.
  • Wheaton proposes making noise, drawing the terrorists inside and jumping them.
  • Joey’s angry attack after a mafia joke is unintentionally funny because his tiny punches do not match the others’ alarm.
  • Billy’s timed escape, return deadline and shower concealment create suspense; the dean’s sudden trust in a habitual troublemaker is questioned.
  • The gun firing up in the air is considered an authentic consequence of being unable to handle it.
  • Joey refuses release, curses his father and the captor, steals a weapon and is quickly killed.
  • A rewrite allowing Joey to hurt at least one terrorist would have made his final effort less pathetic while preserving the sad death.
  • Hank covering Billy’s mouth is funny but defended as preventing a dangerous outburst.
  • The model-plane payoff, search for Billy, reunion and abrupt helicopter-shot ending are enjoyed.
  • Roll call is one final favorite, especially the parents’ occupations and threat to kill five boys for each escape.
  • More fathers’ jobs are requested, including a sports anchor and football general manager.
  • Billy’s escape is the other final favorite.

What’s Aged the Worst?

Communal pornography; technology; posters; henchman; Elliott; Orbach; female roles; fear; greetings

In the discussion (9)
Approx. transcript time · 00:44:48Read transcript
  • Group consumption of pornography seems strange to a younger participant.
  • The absence of internet and cell phones makes the premise conspicuously different today.
  • A Pogues poster seems inconsistent with the boys’ established personalities; a casual set-decoration choice is an alternative explanation.
  • The American henchman’s presence among Colombians is unexplained, with filing and counting jokingly treated as his specialist skills.
  • Elliott’s respected presence seems wasted on a headmaster who offers little leadership during the crisis.
  • Orbach’s uncredited, tiny part is puzzling and compared with his similarly small Out for Justice role.
  • The lack of female characters is criticized; mothers at the meeting are acknowledged, and a woman could play an FBI or school official.
  • The students’ relaxed games and banter lack believable fear, especially viewed after later school violence.
  • Awkward early-1990 s chest and elbow bumps are a late addition.

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Girls-school sequel; Riggs and Seagal hairstyles

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:04:55Read transcript
  • A mid-1990 s girls-school sequel with Reese Witherspoon or Sarah Michelle Gellar is proposed.
  • The hero and villain hairstyles are compared with Martin Riggs and early Seagal, followed by other examples of the voluminous period cut.

Apex Mountain

Cali’s actor, tentative; boarding-school hostage movies; judges thrown from helicopters; underwear bonding; cool educators

In the discussion (5)
Approx. transcript time · 01:17:10Read transcript
  • Astin, Gossett, Wheaton and Orbach are rejected; the actor playing Cali is tentatively the only performer at his peak.
  • Boarding-school hostage movies, judges thrown from helicopters and boys bonding in brief underwear are accepted.
  • Astin’s cut-off-shirt look is discussed as Double Dragon or old-Nintendo chic.
  • Gossett is proposed as a peak cool educator for his forgiving response to misbehavior.
  • Both educators’ forgiving attitude supports the cool-teacher nomination, with Mrs.Garrett offered as a competing example.