The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson
Ten darkly comic lessons about made men, post-heist spending, airports, mob ownership, cocaine, violence, loyalty, dating, crew executions, and divorce
In the discussion (10)
Approx. transcript time · 00:29:08Read transcript
- Do not kill a made man, because it will come back to hurt you.
- After a massive heist, do not buy anything fancy; lie low. — Bill Simmons
- When you need money, rob an airport. — Bill Simmons
- Do not make a mob boss your silent restaurant partner.
- If you sell cocaine, do not use it. — Bill Simmons
- If you truly hate someone, shoot them in the face so their mother cannot hold an open-casket funeral. — Bill Simmons
- Never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut. — Bill Simmons
- If a new boyfriend pistol-whips someone in front of you, reconsider ending up with him. — Bill Simmons
- If you are part of a crew, nobody tells you they are going to kill you. — Bill Simmons
- The bonus lesson is not to get divorced.