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1994 Demi Moore / 2003 Angelina / 2014 Charlize / 2026 Zendaya as Ripley

Best Double Feature Best IMDb Stat Padding Best Movie-Related Fantasy Football Team Name From This Movie Best Race Horse Name from This Movie Best Soundtrack Song Borat Sagdiyev Rancid Body Odor Award Brandy Booth Award for Best Performance by a Pet

Casting What-Ifs Chest Rockwell / Brock Landers Award for Best Character Name

Cruise or Hanks? Did This Movie Need a Random Sports Scene? Dracula the Musical Award for Best Imitation of Real Art Dr. Richard Kimble Inappropriate Body Award

Five-Word Description of the Movie Gandolfini Butter on My Ass So It Pops in My Mouth Award

Half-Assed Internet Research Hall of Fame Plaque Hans Gruber Scale Villain Ranking

How Well Do You Know This Movie?

Is There a Better Title for This Movie? Is There a Porn Parody of This Movie?

Is This Movie Better With…? Jesse Eisenberg “That’s good. You should be proud of that right there. Don’t worry if you don’t make it any further” Award for Best Line Reading

Just One Oscar Mallory Rubin Award: Did This Movie Need a Better Sex Scene? Marion Cobretti Pizza Cutting Award: Why Didn’t They Stop This on Set? Most Delightfully and Ridiculously Improbable Moment Most Popular Meme That Came From This Movie

Most Rewatchable Scene “OK, Motherfucker” Award for When the Movie Goes Up a Notch Pete Berg Award for Underacting, a.k.a. the Ambien Award for the Sleepiest Actor

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Producer review

Recasting Couch

Roger Ebert's review Sasha Jenkins Award for Actor Who You Can’t Believe Didn’t Become a Bigger Star Scorsese or Spielberg? Sean Fennessey Award for Stealth Homage That Gives Every Movie Nerd a Criterion Orgasm

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake Steven Seagal Hard to Kill Award: Did This Movie Need a Better Intimacy Coordinator? Steven Seagal shitting on himself award for most unbelievable anecdote from the actual film shoot The Action Is the Juice Award for Best Milking of the Moment The Amanda Dobbins Award for Best Piece of Real Estate The Andy and Red – Zihuatanejo Award for What Happens the Next Day? The Big Kahuna Burger Award for Best Use of Food and Drink The Billy Batts / Jack Woltz Award for Biting, Scalable Insult

The Butch’s Girlfriend Award for the Weakest Link in the Film The Cliff Booth Award: Is This Movie Better if the Main Character Had a Pet?

The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson The Dan Campbell Scale for “Holy Shit, Are They Really Going for It Right Now?” The Danny McBride Award for Playing Yourself The Den of Thieves Benihana Award for Scene-Stealing Location

The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance The Edie Falco in Cop Land Award for the Character Made Hotter by Smoking The Estelle Reiner “I’ll Have What She’s Having” Award for Best Contribution with Two or Fewer Lines

The Great Shot Gordo Award for Most Cinematic Shot

The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award The most GIFable moment

The most "year the movie came out" thing The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie The Proof of Life / David Caruso Award for a Character Who Should Have Been Spun Off into Their Own Sequel The Reverse Vivian Award for Worst Clothes The Rick Dalton Award for the Greatest Fucking Acting I’ve Ever Seen The Ron Burgundy Flute Award for the Best Time for a Pee Break The Rose From Titanic “Sneaky Suck” Award

The Ruffalo / Hanna / Rubinek / Partridge Overacting Award The Sean Penn “I Brought My Own Pack” Award for Excellence in On-Screen Smoking The Slow Ride / Kid Cudi – Pursuit of Happiness Award for Best Needle Drop

The Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award The Teddy KGB Award for the Actor in a Completely Different Movie The Tom Cruise Award for Most Valiant Attempt to Emulate a Normal Human The Vincent Chase Award: Are We Sure This Character Is Actually Good at Their Job? The Vivian Award for Best Clothes Todd Parker Award for Best Character Entrance Unintentional Comedy Award Van Lathan Award for Did This Movie Need More Black People?

What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie? What role would Philip Seymour Hoffman play?

What’s Aged the Best?

What’s Aged the Worst?

What Would Tony Romo’s Director’s Commentary for This Movie Sound Like? Who Is Your Favorite Old Married Couple Out of the Six?

Who Won the Movie?

Reggie Cleveland Award

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