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The Rewatchables ·

Hardball

year 2001decade 00sdirector Brian Robbinsgenre Sportsgenre Comedygenre Drama
host Bill Simmonshost Van Lathanproducer Craig Horlbeck
All 19 categories

Most Rewatchable Scene · 31:21

Keanu’s speech and the pizza scene receive distinct final preferences.

Meeting the children efficiently establishes personalities, including the asthma, distrust, comic-relief and talented-player roles.

The classroom book report reveals that the child read the book and connects a father returning with his own world; more classroom scenes are wanted.

The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie · 1:16:18

No one can kick my ass better than I can.

Bill Simmons: The quote accompanies the character putting his head through a window, compared with Fight Club.

The film

Hardball (2001)

Directed by Brian Robbins · Sports

106 minutes

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Cast

Selected cast credits · Film reference

Keanu Reeves Conor O'Neill
Diane Lane Elizabeth Wilkes
John Hawkes "Ticky" Tobin
D. B. Sweeney Matt Hyland
Mike McGlone Jimmy Fleming
Bryan C. Hearne Andre Ray Peetes
Michael Perkins Kofi Evans
DeWayne Warren Jarius "G-Baby" Evans

Everything from the episode

In the order the hosts got to it. Open a row for the discussion.

12:28

Casting What-Ifs

Keanu was required for the movie; the love interest was reportedly added at the studio’s request.

Keanu was required for the movie; the love interest was reportedly added at the studio’s request.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:12:28Read transcript
  • The producer account says there would be no Hardball without Keanu, just as Coach Carter required Sam Jackson. — Bill Simmons
  • No alternative lead is reported; Diane Lane’s love-interest role was reportedly added after a studio request for a woman in the story. — Bill Simmons
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29:29

Roger Ebert's review

2.5 stars (scale not stated)
In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:29:29Read transcript
  • The stated Ebert score is two and a half stars. — Bill Simmons
  • The quoted review sees a promising premise but wants more gambling, inner-city life and baseball coaching. — Bill Simmons
  • The response agrees about the children and coaching but considers the gambling already excessive. — Bill Simmons
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31:21

Most Rewatchable Scene

Keanu’s speech and the pizza scene receive distinct final preferences.

Keanu’s speech and the pizza scene receive distinct final preferences.

In the discussion (10)
Approx. transcript time · 00:31:21Read transcript
  • Meeting the children efficiently establishes personalities, including the asthma, distrust, comic-relief and talented-player roles.
  • The classroom book report reveals that the child read the book and connects a father returning with his own world; more classroom scenes are wanted.
  • The child carrying pizza and afraid to enter his home is deeply affecting, prompting reflection on Black boys in danger and unequal life circumstances. — Van Lathan
  • A random gunshot that makes the children freeze is another effective detail; the film is compared with season four of The Wire. — Bill Simmons
  • The pizza scene is hard to watch but nominated, alongside Miles pitching with headphones like peak Pedro Martinez. — Bill Simmons
  • The all-or-nothing bet unexpectedly succeeds, and the frantic performance with John Hawks commentary is a favorite comic scene. — Bill Simmons
  • G baby getting his jersey and the crowd singing Big Papa are additional highlights. — Bill Simmons
  • The funeral performance is praised, as is the corny but effective showing-up message at the end.
  • The trophy scene is painful because G baby is absent; a producer account says the studio required it after the original field-running ending, and one child was missing. — Bill Simmons
  • The final personal preferences are the Keanu speech and the hard-hitting pizza scene. — Bill Simmons
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39:32

What’s Aged the Best?

The children, lasting friendships, performances, and selected scenes

The children, lasting friendships, performances, and selected scenes

In the discussion (12)
Approx. transcript time · 00:39:32Read transcript
  • Michael B. Jordan is praised for the hurt in the scene where the altered birth certificate keeps him from playing. — Bill Simmons
  • Jamal is imagined as Wallace before a move from Chicago to Baltimore, perhaps with Wallace as his surname. — Bill Simmons
  • Sterling Brim is reported to have met Michael B. Jordan on the film after moving from a planned baseball-extra role to the team; their lasting friendship is praised. — Van Lathan
  • The movie is tentatively credited with originating the going-to-the-ship chant after a search, rather than an established history. — Bill Simmons
  • John Hawks is praised, with Winter’s Bone recognition and Miami Vice mentioned. — Bill Simmons
  • The baseball outing and peak Sammy Sosa cameo are liked; a producer account says a $50,000 fee gained an extra $5,000 cash payment after a $10,000 demand. — Bill Simmons
  • A viewing anecdote recalls falsely promising a spouse nobody dies and provoking an angry, tearful reaction. — Bill Simmons
  • The late-practice problem is handled effectively, while the overacting and awkward smoking provide unintended comedy. — Bill Simmons
  • Diane Lane is seen as working hard without chemistry or sufficient material; a joking explanation connects the frustration to Unfaithful. — Bill Simmons
  • A Chicago Bad News Bears concept appeals as television; G baby negotiating his teammate’s return deepens his character, and the child cast has no weak performer. — Bill Simmons
  • Black child performers are argued to have a high success rate, with Phantom Menace offered as a contrasting failure. — Van Lathan
  • The gang-violence portrayal remains relevant and is recalled as an early personal exposure; the other response puts this under aged worst. — Van Lathan
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49:14

What’s Aged the Worst?

The imbalance between coach and children, G baby’s death, weak supporting material, implausible baseball and the endi...

The imbalance between coach and children, G baby’s death, weak supporting material, implausible baseball and the ending song

In the discussion (8)
Approx. transcript time · 00:49:14Read transcript
  • A contemporary version should focus more on the children’s dangerous world and less on the coach’s self-inflicted gambling problems. — Van Lathan
  • The star-financing requirement is offered as context for prioritizing the coach, with Coach Carter and available leading men discussed. — Bill Simmons
  • Killing G baby and the thin online reference pages are criticized. — Bill Simmons
  • D.B. Sweeney has an underdeveloped mean-coach role compared with earlier promise in Eight Men Out, The Cutting Edge and Memphis Belle. — Bill Simmons
  • The Sosa cameo precedes his decline, and the death-then-championship-vote plot is compared with The White Shadow; the book basis is raised in response. — Bill Simmons
  • The young players make implausibly spectacular defensive plays, compared with dunk-filled basketball movies and For Love of the Game. — Bill Simmons
  • The teacher returning after an unpleasant date is implausible. — Bill Simmons
  • The closing song is judged wrong for the moment, then criticized more strongly because it is R. Kelly in a children’s movie set in Chicago. — Bill Simmons
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55:09

The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award

The actor transcribed as Mike McClone

The actor transcribed as Mike McClone

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:55:09Read transcript
  • The Oz mafia actor playing the Fink is considered, but the actor’s full identity is not resolved. — Bill Simmons
  • The winner is the actor transcribed as Mike McClone, known as the Ed Burns brother from the early films and playing the Wall Street employer here. — Bill Simmons
  • His role in She’s the One inspires enthusiastic discussion of the romantic triangle and a possible future episode, with Boomerang as a cast comparison. — Van Lathan
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57:23

The Ruffalo / Hanna / Rubinek / Partridge Overacting Award

Keanu

Keanu

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:57:23Read transcript
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57:37

The Teddy KGB Award for the Actor in a Completely Different Movie

Diane Lane

Diane Lane

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:57:37Read transcript
  • Diane Lane seems disconnected from the rest of the movie; a five-day shoot and little plot briefing are speculation. — Bill Simmons
  • The role is imagined as one she would decline after Unfaithful. — Bill Simmons
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57:54

The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance

John Hawks

John Hawks

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 00:57:54Read transcript
  • John Hawks is proposed, with concern that the gambling buddy is present too often. — Bill Simmons
  • Five scenes and a thin cast justify giving him the award. — Van Lathan
  • Michael B. Jordan is another possible nominee for the strong acting scene and sad final appearance. — Bill Simmons
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58:47

Recasting Couch

Rename Jamal as Wallace rather than replace an actor.

Rename Jamal as Wallace rather than replace an actor.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 00:58:47Read transcript
  • Renaming Jamal as Wallace would turn the film into a possible origin story for The Wire character. — Bill Simmons
  • A system of trading movie characters like sports players is imagined, with Rosewood and Taggart from Beverly Hills Cop as the example. — Bill Simmons
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1:01:46

Half-Assed Internet Research

Location and game-footage substitutions, Matrix-era cast stories and the September 10 premiere

Location and game-footage substitutions, Matrix-era cast stories and the September 10 premiere

In the discussion (7)
Approx. transcript time · 01:01:46Read transcript
  • The baseball sequence uses Tiger Stadium rather than an ivy-walled Wrigley setting; a White Sox home interleague game is offered as an alternative interpretation. — Bill Simmons
  • The Sluggers setting is said to use a different bar location, with a real Sluggers elsewhere. — Bill Simmons
  • CBA footage is alleged to stand in for the Bulls–Heat game. — Bill Simmons
  • Uncut Gems is used to describe a claimed way to use unchanged real-game footage in a story; the claim is reported discussion, not verified legal guidance. — Bill Simmons
  • Brian Robbins is quoted describing the children’s excitement at working with the Matrix star. — Bill Simmons
  • Michael B. Jordan is quoted recalling dinner with Keanu and Lawrence Fishburn as a memorable movie-star experience. — Bill Simmons
  • The producer account places the premiere at Paramount on September 10, immediately before the attacks. — Bill Simmons
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1:05:34

Apex Mountain

The funeral scene as an acting peak; Sosa; ticket scalpers

The funeral scene as an acting peak; Sosa; ticket scalpers

In the discussion (8)
Approx. transcript time · 01:05:34Read transcript
  • Keanu’s career is rejected as apex here, but the funeral is treated as possibly his best single acting scene. — Van Lathan
  • The Devil’s Advocate performance is defended, followed by rejections for Diane Lane, Michael B. Jordan, John Hawks and D.B. Sweeney. — Bill Simmons
  • Sosa is endorsed as still at his peak before public decline, followed by a remake joke about playing the coach. — Bill Simmons
  • Ticket scalpers are proposed at a peak before online sales, with Money Talks as another film example. — Bill Simmons
  • Posthumous Biggie is proposed but rejected in favor of Life After Death and the Notorious movie. — Van Lathan
  • Big Papa itself is proposed because of enduring cable exposure. — Bill Simmons
  • The Tim Floyd era is endorsed, then the Bulls failure to win 22 games and uncertainty about another head job are discussed. — Bill Simmons
  • Self-inflicted movie fights prompt another apex question, with Fight Club favored and Me, Myself and Irene recalled. — Bill Simmons
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1:07:37

Probably Unanswerable Questions

A current baseball cameo, news coverage, teaching, the Wire relationship and the real Bulls–Heat game are considered.

A current baseball cameo, news coverage, teaching, the Wire relationship and the real Bulls–Heat game are considered.

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 01:07:37Read transcript
  • Judge, Otani and Eli Jimenez are raised for a new cameo, then Tim Anderson is favored as the player the kids would admire. — Bill Simmons
  • G baby’s death after the winning hit seems likely to attract local TV crews outside the funeral. — Bill Simmons
  • A later teaching role is imagined as PE, gambling odds or dice, connecting the coach to the teacher in The Wire. — Van Lathan
  • The film is called a second cousin through marriage to The Wire because there is no police involvement. — Bill Simmons
  • A lookup reports Miami beating Chicago 97–90 on March 31, 2001, while a 2002 game is chronologically excluded; the film’s four-point margin with Chicago plus six differs from the seven-point real result. — Bill Simmons
  • The proposed rewrite would use the real score and adjust the in-story spread for greater authenticity. — Bill Simmons
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1:09:54

Picking Nits

Roster counts, the teacher’s dating life, ticket value, lack of coaching, the wound and unfamiliarity with Big Papa

Roster counts, the teacher’s dating life, ticket value, lack of coaching, the wound and unfamiliarity with Big Papa

In the discussion (6)
Approx. transcript time · 01:09:54Read transcript
  • The changing roster, uniforms, substitutions and trophy shot make the team’s player count inconsistent. — Bill Simmons
  • The nice Catholic school teacher being single is treated as implausible. — Bill Simmons
  • Trading tickets to weak Bulls basketball for a $46 pizza bill is disputed; the trip itself and Dallas stars could justify it. — Bill Simmons
  • A Craig observation says there is too little actual coaching by Keanu; Bad News Bears in Breaking Training is the comparison, and the children seem skilled without instruction. — Bill Simmons
  • An online nitpick questions the apparent handgun-like wound versus a shotgun on screen; limited firearms knowledge is explicit and alternative explanations remain possible. — Bill Simmons
  • Connor’s age makes never having heard Big Papa or the Notorious B.I.G. implausible, prompting a shared familiarity argument. — Van Lathan
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1:15:27

Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All-Black Remake

A ten-episode adaptation is strongly endorsed.

A ten-episode adaptation is strongly endorsed.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:15:27Read transcript
  • The responses to a ten-episode Netflix remake are certainly and pretty easily. — Bill Simmons
  • A paid sports-movie consultancy is jokingly offered to keep the adaptation on track; the Sosa coach idea returns. — Bill Simmons
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1:16:18

The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie

No one can kick my ass better than I can.

No one can kick my ass better than I can.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:16:18Read transcript
  • The quote accompanies the character putting his head through a window, compared with Fight Club. — Bill Simmons
  • The self-beating comparison expands to Me, Myself and Irene and an unidentified further example. — Van Lathan
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1:19:28

What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?

Keanu’s leather jacket and the Do It for G baby sign.

Keanu’s leather jacket and the Do It for G baby sign.

In the discussion (2)
Approx. transcript time · 01:19:28Read transcript
  • The leather jacket is selected and also appears on the other speaker’s list. — Bill Simmons
  • The crowd’s Do It for G baby sign is the other selection, imagined in an office. — Bill Simmons
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1:20:14

Who Won the Movie?

G baby

G baby

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:20:14Read transcript
  • G baby is selected and affirmed as the film’s enduring identity. — Bill Simmons
  • The death remains an instantly understood reference, illustrated by a family joke equating laughing at it with heartlessness. — Van Lathan
  • G baby’s acting is praised and the winner choice repeated. — Van Lathan
Podcast choices
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1:21:22

Producer review

Devastated; the first-time viewer expected the character to survive

Devastated; the first-time viewer expected the character to survive

In the discussion (3)
Approx. transcript time · 01:21:22Read transcript
  • Producer Craig is explicitly invited to discuss his first viewing and describes the turn from the batting moment to the trip home.
  • The small wound initially suggests survival and hospitalization like Remember the Titans; the death instead provokes tears. — Craig Horlbeck
  • The response is relieved Liz did not watch, while the hosts discuss the emotional impact on partners. — Bill Simmons
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More from the conversation

Van fantasy-football low-scoring championship story resolves forgotten halfback as Ernest Graham.
Approx. transcript time · 00:01:50Read transcript
G-Baby death presented as most shocking cinematic death, compared with Fredo; family and post-9/11 viewing recollections, Keanu funeral performance praised.
Approx. transcript time · 00:03:31Read transcript
Cable replay appeal and VHS family viewing story; mother refused rewatch because child death.
Approx. transcript time · 00:06:50Read transcript
Mike Tolan phone interview reports intended R rating after Varsity Blues; studio required PG-13 edits and parental complaints followed unexpected death.
Approx. transcript time · 00:07:41Read transcript
Daniel Coyle book basis mentioned; actual-life child death only speculated, unfamiliarity with book explicit; movie cannot regain light mood after death.
Approx. transcript time · 00:08:52Read transcript
Late tragedy improves formulaic gambling-coach plot and distinguishes the movie from other sports vehicles; White Shadow borrowing noted.
Approx. transcript time · 00:10:14Read transcript
Unranked sports-era list described as sixteen films; The Replacements repeated. No ten-item list. Producer account says Coach Carter required Sam Jackson and Hardball required Keanu; no casting alternatives.
Approx. transcript time · 00:11:37Read transcript
Nostalgia for varied sports-film era; remake preference criticized; High Flying Bird cited as later ambitious exception.
Approx. transcript time · 00:12:44Read transcript
Imagined modern sports-star-led version with Ohtani gambling in Anaheim; hypothetical at episode time, not factual allegation.
Approx. transcript time · 00:13:57Read transcript
Gridiron Gang marks decline; more specific sports films Damn United, Warrior, Moneyball, Blind Side follow; predicts streaming data and remakes will revive sports films.
Approx. transcript time · 00:14:49Read transcript
White Men Cant Jump differences-as-strength discussion; concern current audiences too tense for sports-movie fun; white-savior premise seen as preventing present-day Hardball with Keanu, Michael B Jordan suggested.
Approx. transcript time · 00:17:00Read transcript
Documentaries Last Dance, Fab Five and30for30 compete; Slap Shot and Rocky/Creed reinvention; alternative Drew League pitch, Blue Chips remake discussed.
Approx. transcript time · 00:20:24Read transcript
Hes All That gender flip of Shes All That leads to hypothetical basketball/Victory gender flips.
Approx. transcript time · 00:22:18Read transcript
Church gambling introduction, implausible Connor ONeill name, claimed older John Wick script; wooden versus lively Keanu examples and preference for lively Hardball performance.
Approx. transcript time · 00:22:54Read transcript
Keanu likened to older cousin aging alongside viewer: Parenthood, Bill and Ted, Point Break, Speed, Devils Advocate date, Matrix college and John Wick adulthood.
Approx. transcript time · 00:25:08Read transcript
My Own Private Idaho praised despite Shakespeare/Dracula/Johnny Mnemonic misfires; career longevity compared with Jason Kidd.
Approx. transcript time · 00:27:04Read transcript
Keanu perceived as model for Paul Walker Fast and Furious role, first film likened to Point Break with cars.
Approx. transcript time · 00:28:56Read transcript
An Unfaithful tangent praises Diane Lane, recalls a group viewing and discusses the snow-globe scene and actor anecdote; this is film discussion, not a credit on Hardball.
Approx. transcript time · 00:45:28Read transcript